When Hephaestus Got an Anti-Addiction System

The life of Hephaestus, god of fire and craftsmanship, was spent with a mother who judged by looks and could have children on her own, a father who ate and drank to excess and was too timid to stomach it, a sociable wife who loved planting grasslands, half-siblings who loved going green, an adopted son who shot people with love arrows at random, and himself, broken and lame.

One day, he got dead drunk at Dionysus's party. When he woke up, he had a miraculous anti-addiction System.

After reading about the unfamiliar life he'd lived in his previous incarnation through the System, Hephaestus filed for divorce from his divine father, took his golden triangular table, and went to Mount Caucasus to focus on making equipment with his best buddy Prometheus.

Eight hundred years after he left Olympus, the other chief gods confirmed that Hephaestus had disappeared in Dionysus's territory, and a new rumor began to spread.

"Dionysus abducted Hephaestus, god of fire!"

"The real reason Hephaestus divorced Aphrodite was Dionysus!"

Unable to bear the rumors any longer, Dionysus chased after him to Mount Caucasus, hoping only to get him to set the record straight. Then he saw the guy enjoying a hot spring with someone else. He hauled him out and dunked him in his own wine pool, pinning the man with his innocent, confused, angelically adorable face against its wall. "Hephaestus, everyone's saying we're a couple now. Shall we make the rumors true and make your muddleheaded wife regret it?"

Hephaestus's anti-addiction System activated automatically. "Thanks, but I'm not into incest."

Dionysus: "?"

On a snowy night, Hephaestus took his smithing hammer and abandoned his best buddy, fleeing to an estate. The owner greeted him with a kind and beautiful divine smile, his voice full of temptation. "You were born to Hera herself, so it wouldn't count as incest between us."

Hephaestus: "Who said the anti-addiction System works? Why can't it keep you away from me!"

Dionysus: "It works. It kept my rival away."

Hephaestus: "?"

----- Reading Guide -----

Contains original worldbuilding.

Roughly: a cunning, devoted, domineering wine god X a fire god who's considered ugly but is actually cute, thinks he's disabled and determined to become evil, and is an honest guy with a little bit of acting talent, but not much.

One-on-one romance.

References various versions of Greek mythology.

The top and bottom are not related by blood.

Mostly daily life for the two chief gods and other couples.

The idea came from wanting to ship couples in my spare time.

The whole thing is made up. To each their own, so don't read if it's not your cup of tea.

Draft blurb: 2024.8.15

Blurb screenshot: 2024.9.1

Theme: Devoted, passionate love is one of the most moving things of all. If you don't love someone, don't hurt them.