If You're Unlucky, Don't Play Detective Card Games, Okay?!

*There are some rambling author notes below the blurb that you can read in advance!

°I'm still deciding on the romantic orientation. I'm torn between no romance and pure love, so it might change as I write. ORZ

Qiu Shengrihe is unlucky, but he's an ultimate gacha addict with more enthusiasm than skill.

One day, his older brother tosses him into a newly developed full-immersion simulation game made by their company. Apparently, it's a brand-new world where Qiu Shengrihe, a gacha addict, can finally have a proper go at it.

From the start, he has to choose his character settings. Unable to resist, Qiu Shengrihe selects complete randomization.

(Someone: Even the name was randomly generated, for crying out loud!)

Your character profile has been updated:

[Name] Qiu Shengrihe

[Age] 25

[Occupation] Police Officer

[Trait] 100% Domain Expansion [Can envelop the entire faction in the player's immense fortune]

[Skills] Firearms Mastery, Police Grappling Techniques

Qiu Shengrihe looks at the trait on his screen and can't help closing his eyes. Then he opens his basic information panel and sees the familiar stat.

[Luck] E- [A mighty fortune so powerful it can influence the course of the world]

When he rolls for a respawn point, he gets Bed 3 in Room 403 of the Police Hospital.

Whenever a player wants to save or load their game, or increase their stats, they have to find their way back to the hospital bed they're familiar with.

Qiu Shengrihe: ... (closes his eyes, helpless and vulnerable)

During missions, his skills are always warped by his luck into something bizarre.

Firearms Mastery becomes Master of Missing Every Shot.

Grappling Techniques become the Bone-Dislocating Method.

The more he tries to catch one criminal, the more criminals he ends up catching, watching helplessly as a robber turns into an entire gang.

He tries to deliver some important documents, runs into an undercover officer from the Metropolitan Police Department, and ends up sending the documents straight into a shredder.

Even training new recruits isn't safe. The rookie he takes on in the morning becomes an undercover agent for a criminal organization when they go out on patrol that afternoon.

A bomb he successfully disarms explodes in Qiu Shengrihe's hands.

He spends half a day helping the traffic division, and a bridge collapses.

Qiu Shengrihe is like a ball of bad luck being passed from department to department. Wherever he goes, everything turns into chaos.

At last, the higher-ups can't take it anymore and dump Qiu Shengrihe in the Public Security Bureau, hoping he'll cause trouble for their colleagues instead.

Surely a place with such good feng shui as the Public Security Bureau can keep this unlucky guy under control, right?

That very night, Qiu Shengrihe falls asleep at his desk and oversleeps. He wakes to hear his immediate superior's entire plan to conspire with the waterworks organization.

Qiu Shengrihe: Anyone else get it? On my first day at the Public Security Bureau, I nearly got the whole place shut down.

But this guy happens to be the youngest son of the Qiu family. They can't scold him or fire him.

So the higher-ups hold an emergency meeting, come to an agreement, and send him undercover into the opposing organization.

The higher-ups never imagined that their way of taking down a criminal organization would be for their own undercover agent to be so unlucky that people suspect he has special powers, get him dragged into a lab, and cause a power failure that shuts off the boss's ventilator. ()

Qiu Shengrihe is sent undercover and can't refresh his stats, so the System automatically locks his health at its current level. :)

After finally taking down the waterworks organization (crossed out: killing it through sheer misfortune), Qiu Shengrihe drags his health-locked body, sitting at 0.01 HP, back to the respawn point he has been longing for.

Then he is told:

The Police Hospital has been renovated, and all the beds on the fourth floor have been replaced.

Qiu Shengrihe: Damn it! Damn it, did you hear me? (Cat swears up a storm)

Bonus scene:

One day, Qiu Shengrihe completes a long series of quests assigned to him by the System and finally earns a guaranteed ten-pull.

This time, he's going to redeem himself. He washes his face and hands, burns incense, bathes, then reverently presses the gacha button.

[Congratulations, player! You obtained a rare gold item: Revivable Corpse Fragment x1]

Qiu Shengrihe: ?

[Note]

The stupid author writes without thinking. There's no logic, and there will be OOC and bugs. If you don't enjoy reading it, let's part on good terms. (Bows)

I have to revise this blurb every time it gets screened, so the novel may disappear from time to time. Don't panic!

Looking at the outline I've put together, this book is probably going to be truly unhinged. I'll start writing it after the one called Read It, Reply Randomly. It's going to be one of those two books, along with the Akai one. (Nods)

You can check whether you can handle the unhinged level of Read It, Reply Randomly before coming here. This one will be even more unhinged (probably).

I haven't figured out the rescue arc yet. Since I'm going in order, it'll be a long time before I get to this one, and I haven't worked out the outline. But for now, Hagi-chan will come back to life intermittently (?). The story opens not long after Pisco's death in the Conan and Gin arc, after all. lol

Theme: When you fall, dig a tunnel right there.