The Pig-Raising Tycoon Tames the Ice-Cold CEO

Currently writing this, probably posting around Sunday.

Blurb:

Shang Xiaoshuo is the most successful pig-hauling driver in the whole area.

Aside from not finishing elementary school and butchering Mandarin, he has no shortcomings.

One day, he went to interview for a driver position, and the HR manager asked what his special skills were.

Sitting bolt upright, he said, "Does hauling pigs count? Last time I hauled eighteen, and seven got loose on the way. I went and caught every last one of them."

The HR manager laughed so hard he slapped the table, then sent him straight to the group's ruthless young heir.

The boss is called Lu Yuan. He's young and successful, and his favorite thing to do is ignore people.

Put the two of them together, and it's like two rivals meeting in a miserable backwater.

The taciturn Lu Yuan is driven to talk all day long, while talkative Shang Xiaoshuo feels sorry for his "mute boss."

Lu Yuan sits in the back with his eyes closed, resting. "I hope you understand that there should be clear boundaries between a boss and his driver."

Shang Xiaoshuo glances at him in the rearview mirror. "Boundaries? Don't know what that means, but, boss, you haven't fastened your seat belt."

Lu Yuan opens his eyes. "Boundaries mean you shouldn't keep asking whether I've eaten, whether I'm cold, or whether you should bring me breakfast."

Shang Xiaoshuo looks aggrieved. "But isn't that just basic manners? When I used to haul pigs, even the hungry ones would oink."

Lu Yuan goes silent for three seconds. "...You're comparing me to a pig?"

Shang Xiaoshuo thinks it over seriously. "Then what should I compare you to? A cow? I've hauled cows, too!"

Lu Yuan: "..."

Lu Yuan lies awake every night, while Shang Xiaoshuo sleeps like a log.

He can't help wondering, though: The boss is a pretty nice guy, but he keeps saying weird things. What does he mean?

For example, that day:

Lu Yuan: "Do you understand priorities? Do the most important thing first."

Shang Xiaoshuo nods vigorously. "I do! Today I filled up the car before washing it. Getting gas is more important than washing the car. You can't drive without gas!"

Lu Yuan: "..."

Or that day:

Lu Yuan: "Review today's work before you leave."

Shang Xiaoshuo freezes. "Review? What kind of dish? A platter or a plate of vegetables?"

Lu Yuan: "..."

And then there was the day:

Lu Yuan finally loses it. "Is your head full of pig feed?"

Shang Xiaoshuo's eyes light up. "How'd you know I've fed pigs before?! Does our company raise them, too? Where are they?"

Then, one day, Lu Yuan gets a fever. Shang Xiaoshuo carries him to the hospital in the middle of the night, climbing five whole flights of stairs without stopping.

Half-conscious, Lu Yuan wraps his arms around Shang Xiaoshuo's neck, his fever making his head fuzzy. "Shang Xiaoshuo, are you really stupid, or are you pretending?"

Shang Xiaoshuo scratches his head. "Boss, what are you talking about?"

Lu Yuan suddenly laughs, slurring his words. "I said, why don't you just be my wife?"

Shang Xiaoshuo: "Huh? You want a wife cake? They sell those at the supermarket downstairs. Come to think of it, they're really good, sweet and flaky. I ate three in one go last time."

Lu Yuan closes his eyes and thinks: I've really fallen into his hands for the rest of my life.

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Sharp-tongued CEO heiress x easygoing, clearheaded assistant

A love with mismatched values, a shared illness, talking to a brick wall from start to finish, magic beating magic. A purely comedic, goofy story. Both leads are virgins.