If the Heroine Doesn’t Go Crazy, Who Do You Think Should?

Ji Chuhe transmigrated into the heroine of an old-fashioned, angst-ridden body-double romance.

In the book, the male lead couldn’t forget his first love, who had gone abroad, and found a heroine who looked somewhat like her to act as her substitute.

Since it was an angst story, the heroine was destined to be publicly humiliated by the male lead’s friends, have his mother throw money in her face, and be targeted and framed by his first love after she returned from abroad. After suffering physically and emotionally, she would die in an accident, leaving the male lead to miss her for the rest of his life.

Ji Chuhe: “? Only I get put through the angst?”

She wasn’t having it.

Ji Chuhe went off the rails. The male lead took her to a gathering with his friends, and one of them got drunk and embarrassed her in front of everyone. “This girl isn’t as good as your ex.”

Ji Chuhe strode over and slapped his friend. “A little booze and you think you’re hot stuff.”

Then she turned and slapped the male lead, who had silently let it happen. “You say nothing, and who knows if you’re dead or alive.”

The male lead’s mother tossed her a check for five million and sneered, “Leave my son. A girl like you isn’t good enough for him.”

Ji Chuhe picked up the check. “I’m not good enough for him? I’m more than good enough. I’m worthy of heaven and earth, and of being enshrined in the imperial temple. I’ll take the money as compensation for the distress of having to lower myself to be with him.”

The first love returned from abroad with a child, and joined the male lead in acting like a family of three.

The child feigned innocence. “This auntie is so ugly.”

Ji Chuhe: “You’re uglier. You’re ugly beyond belief.”

The first love scolded her in surprise. “How can you pick a fight with a child?”

Ji Chuhe: “You’re ugly too.”

The male lead frowned and stepped forward. Ji Chuhe turned and slapped him. “What, feeling left out because I didn’t insult you? Don’t fight over it. You’re all equally ugly.”

After giving up on being polite, Ji Chuhe felt much better.

If someone throws mud at me, I’ll slap them right back.

*

The real young master of the Xie family in Nancheng had been found. They said he’d grown up in the countryside and had a bad temper.

His awful father favored the adopted son and sternly reprimanded him. “Your younger brother has been pampered since he was little. You should indulge him more.”

Xie Li looked thoroughly annoyed. “Oh, I was so busy teaching him a lesson I almost forgot about you, old man.”

On the first day of the variety show, the fake young master stood beside him in designer clothes, hoping to use him as a foil. “My older brother has lived in the countryside for years and isn’t very worldly. I hope you’ll excuse him.”

Xie Li shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’re like a little turtle who fell into a salt cellar, with so much free time you can’t leave me alone. Go shovel the village’s manure pile or something instead of following me around.”

The other guests disapproved and chided him. “You’re family. How can you badmouth him to his face?”

Xie Li: “Who’s family with him? I won’t just say it to his face. If you can’t hear me, I’ll carve it on a tombstone for you.”

Xie Li attacked everyone indiscriminately, until one day he ran into Ji Chuhe and she saw through his undercover mission.

Xie Li: “You can learn if you’re uneducated, and you can be edited if you’re ugly. But there’s no cure for being rotten inside.”

Ji Chuhe pulled two coins from her pocket and handed them to him. “Anyone who dares to point out my faults to my face will be richly rewarded.”

Xie Li: “...I’ve finally met my match.”

1. Slap-happy sister x sharp-tongued guy

2. Jokes sourced from the internet

3. Content warnings in Chapter One

4. 80% anti-piracy protection + 72-hour delay

Theme: Learning to be a decent person