A Failed Experiment in Love

This was by no means a pleasant reading experience, and you could say that I felt murderous while reading it. But I think any reader with normal conscience and morality would find it difficult not to feel like "wanting to kill all the laboratories that raise the male and female protagonists." This article is written in the first person of the male protagonist Foibs. He and the heroine Diana were born from an experimental project: artificially regulating genes to create perfectly matched S-class sentries and S-class guides. Foibs and Diana are the only pair of "works" with a 100% matching degree. They were raised in a laboratory on the high seas, brutally "trained" (abused), and instilled with unbreakable beliefs: the sentinel must protect the guide; the guide must obey the sentinel unconditionally; you are a destined pair, and you will definitely love each other... Foibs from the first perspective is a righteous, arrogant, cold, and inhuman bastard teenager, but I couldn't dislike him during the reading process, because every move he made reflected the cruelty and distortion of the entire laboratory environment. He was genetically edited into a cold, powerful, and devoid of empathy, and everything in his upbringing exacerbated this distortion. So when Foibs walked out of the laboratory for the first time and entered the "outside collective life" of the Sentinel training camp, he reflected the abnormalities of the two worlds at the same time. He did not understand the sexual superiority of men in the outside world, and other Sentinels called him a "robot." He does not understand sympathy, tenderness, and love. This kind of coldness hurts the people around him, especially his "destined guide" Diana, and it also hurts himself at the same time. Foibs is actually smart enough to be keenly aware that the environment in which he grew up is not a good one, and that he is aware of the manipulation and control of those researchers. His reason tells him that the smartest thing to do is to obey, but his subconscious projects this resistance to Diana. In the early stage, Foybus tried his best to emphasize to himself that he "will never fall in love with Diana" - no, it's not that he doesn't love Diana, he just wants to resist this destined fate that has been forced on him. But he actually loves Diana in his heart, so this misunderstanding makes him at a loss. As for Diana, initially viewed from Foibs' perspective, she is an unintelligent, over-empathic, over-emotional, supple, kind and gentle "perfect guide" who can't always keep up with his pace. However, readers and Foibs will gradually discover that that is not the real her, but a stereotype masked by prejudice. Diana has her own interests and pursuits, unique strengths, and a very firm personal opinion buried deep in her heart. What's even better is that in the process of reading, readers will slowly discover that Foybus, who has been desperately denying that he does not love Diana, actually loves her hopelessly; and Diana, who has always followed the research goal of "they are destined to love each other", actually does not love him that much. However, whether it is their love or the reversal of this love, it is a cruel reflection. They have been edited, designed, and cut before they were born. After they were born, they grew up in experiments, brainwashing, and discipline with no privacy or freedom at all. Foibs as the male sentinel is designed to be a cold and decisive anti-social killing machine, and Diana as the female guide is designed to be a gentle and considerate but not so smart leash and scabbard. Is it really fair to have Diana love Foybus unconditionally and be stabbed by him again and again? Isn't it cruel for Foibs to fall in love with Diana without any choice and then suffer the pain that she actually doesn't love him that much? While reading from Feubs's perspective, I couldn't help but repeatedly wanted to get rid of them and let them be free - but for them, how can we be considered free? Alas, I can't answer this question, I just want to blow up the high seas laboratory. I have to admit that the author really has the ability to dissect the character's psychology extremely exquisitely, whether it is Foybus's arrogance, arrogance and need for beating in the early stage, or his gradual introspection and pain in the later stage, as well as his recognition and analysis of the despicable psychology of the experimenters throughout the whole process - all parts are very vivid and real. What's even more rare is that the author does not go beyond his perspective, but can throw out clues among the clues, making readers outside the article realize that many things are not as Feubs thought. From a perspective that is obscured by high stereotypes and natural antisocial tendencies, the author vividly depicts Diana's personality and growth that Foibs does not understand, as well as the relationships between other children in the laboratory that are either enemies or have some. In terms of describing the character's psychology, the Sentinel Guide is really a very cheating setting - making the two people have the same mind and feel one, and all emotions, thoughts and desires are unreserved. In other articles, this might be a way to solve a problem without class, but in this article, the delicate psychological process, the long entanglement of fate, and the contradictory personalities destined to be beyond normal understanding make the combination of the sentinels and guides the last step of introspection, the only way to understand each other, and an indispensable link to complete awakening and escape. In this article, I don't feel set up and cheated, I just see them stung and healed in a new way. The stream of consciousness writing in the process of deep integration fully reflects the wandering and jumping of thoughts away from the material world, and completely explains the feelings that need to be said. In all the whistles I have read, this is the first time I have seen such a clear depiction of the state of complete integration of two people's thoughts and feelings, and I have seen how when this state becomes a daily routine, it can expand the boundaries of individual abilities and change the shape of a person's thoughts. How could someone be so good at writing the first person? It's so beautiful that I can't help but feel sorry for myself. The author is amazing! ! ! !

※Warning※ This article involves the plots and characters of the two works "Who is Coming to Me Now" and "The Failure of Love". If you have not finished reading these two works (including extras), it is recommended to skip this review for now, so as not to affect the reading experience! [Title Description] Reading notes and reflections (Part 1) were posted in the comment area of "Who is Coming to Me Right Now". "Part 2" is mainly based on "The Failure of Love". Because I accidentally wrote too long (9W+ words), in order to comply with the word limit in the comment area and avoid chapters that I have rated, I can only post them in sections: Chapter 56/Chapter 60/Chapter 78/Chapter 79. I'm really sorry for causing trouble to everyone OTZ (a deep bow) (Continued from the previous article) *Physicalization-2 Next, Foibs gradually realized that Diana had been suppressing her emotions when she was with him. Chapter 63 "Pain". Foibs asked Diana: "So if I'm here, you have to force yourself not to be so sad?" Foibs had always been familiar with suppressing his emotions; he himself was one of them. That's why Feibs knew that it was a kind of materialization. Until now, researchers have not regarded him as a "human being." From being deprived of emotions by the guide, to making oneself think that emotions have no value, to allowing oneself to exist as a tool... These are all being objectified. What he has always hated is "being objectified". Now, however, he saw himself in Diana. Only then did he realize that he was also objectifying her... It turned out that he had been objectifying Diana all along. In the past, he thought his happiness was Diana's happiness. However, the fact is that she doesn't love herself at all, and everything is narcissistic. He had never considered whether Diana would be happy with him. He always wished that she would be by his side - that was a kind of selfishness. It turns out that he is actually playing the role he hates most... It turns out that he is the same "perpetrator" to Diana. -- "Disrespect." It was at this moment that he truly began to reflect on the meaning of "emotion" itself... He hoped to retain emotions. "I don't want to just feel better every time. "Because... That gives me the motivation to... Think." Finally, Feubs realized that emotions were not an unimportant thing. Emotions make people think. In the past, the reason why Feubs refused to "think" and admit pain was because pain and empathy would make the mission fail, and if the mission failed, he would not be free. However, he now realizes that denying personal emotions is a form of self-objectification. At the same time, it also means that he cannot think independently. Pain can make him think about what is the real source of pain for him? What is his own reason for existence? Without "dissatisfaction", you cannot identify what is truly important to you. He had to think of the answer himself. **Diana's "materialization" Compared to Feubs, Diana's reaction was still numb. Diana once imitated Ada and accused Foybus of "not being able to reflect", but here she said: "You have always been good at thinking before, right?" She didn't understand that Fuibs had always been thinking about how to make herself stronger. However, the pursuit of becoming stronger is not the path to happiness. In fact, Diana didn't even think that she was "objectified". She thought something was wrong with Foybus. She subconsciously avoided the truth. This reaction is very similar to when Feubs first heard about the "Turing machine". This episode of Diana broke my heart. I felt like I was the same as her, I had been objectified, but I didn't know I was being objectified. All I knew was that my feelings and thoughts were being denied, and I felt like my own worth was being taken away from me. When I realized that this was objectification and that I was being objectified, my reaction was to cry. Even now I still want to cry when I think about it. Uncontrollable. However, Diana's reaction was: she didn't understand. She was numb. She didn't understand why Foybus was upset about objectifying her. Obviously, the Diana in the past reacted to this incident. She would be sad that she was not liked, and she would feel isolated and helpless because of it. Now she felt: "Foibs is irrational because of his excitement. "You can't let his emotions go. Don't just do whatever he thinks should be done - it's for his own good. Diana's reaction here is very much like a dogmatic machine operation (I have also written before that she always likes to use formulas to deal with things.) But I think she is even more numb here because in the previous chapter, she just experienced the sequelae of confinement - she is afraid of "making mistakes" again. So when she felt Foibs's emotions, her first reaction was also to be afraid of "losing control." --For the guide, the sentry's emotional loss was her "mistake" and a dereliction of duty. And suppressing one's emotions is a guide's daily routine. So, the powers were reversed. Diana channeled Foybus naturally, forcefully and proactively here. Diana used her guiding ability to "materialize" Foibs. Diana said: 'If she would follow their Maker's instructions perfectly in her dealings with him, then he would be happy, and if he was happy, she would be happy too. This guide's "guiding principle" deprived Diana of her own subjectivity to be happy for herself. Diana turned herself into an object and existed to please Foybus. His happiness is not equivalent to her happiness. **The meaning of guidance This made me think again about the meaning of grooming. Eve once said: "In the daily life of a guide, he will face the exploration and guidance of other guides out of concern for his companions, and wash away negative feelings." At that time, I wrote about my views on this matter, the power relationship, and the operating system of objectification and objectification. Now I feel that mutual supervision between guides is actually a seemingly mild form of ideological censorship and control. This is a method. As long as the emotions of the dissatisfied are eliminated forcefully, there will be no resistance, and authority will ultimately be maintained and people will obey. Then, it's all wrapped up in "for your own good." Using "for your own good" as a reason makes this good intention a tool of oppression, trampling on the so-called free will and emotions. Recently I was reading "The Miracle of Witness" by Thich Nhat Hanh, and there was a passage in it that said: "Don't use reason to chop yourself into pieces. Awareness is just observing your own thoughts and emotions, regardless of whether they are good or bad. Don't divide them into different camps and get into fights with each other." Diana or the guide is always distinguishing "good" and "bad" emotions. In other words, I often "criticize" my own thoughts or emotions, thinking that pain is bad and sadness is bad... But these thoughts are our own. We use concepts and language to define these emotions, but in fact they are all myself. In fact, we do not need to suppress or separate them, but we should be aware of them, accept them, and then embrace them. When Eve in "Come to Me" observed the matter of "grooming", she also thought it was pathological. But obviously, Diana will take the initiative to provide counseling - because she thinks Foibs needs counseling. Eve resists the control of "for your own good", but here, Diana becomes the main culprit of "for your own good". Diana had internalized this rule... She felt that removing "bad" emotions was the right thing to do and she didn't see anything wrong with it. She didn't see it as dominating or oppressing. This kind of self-internalized oppression makes people feel even more sad. When Foybus fell in love with Diana, he already wanted to change from a "Turing machine" back to a "human". But he didn't expect that at this moment, Diana was gradually turning from a "person" into an "object" without knowing it. And all of this was actually caused by him. - "He pushed her away himself, leaving her standing there helpless, being shaped by them into what she is now." Foibs hopes that Diana can become human again. During this time of grooming, Foibs also realized that not only his own existence was the source of Diana's objectification, but even Diana's grooming herself was using herself as a tool. I'm still thinking that maybe it was because of Diana's strong guidance this time that Foibs later chose to find opportunities to be alone when performing tasks outside - to "think" and clarify his true thoughts. At first, Feibs didn't understand the use of a "meditation room" at all, but now he knows that he has to take the initiative to find his own "meditation room", which can be said to be a great improvement. In fact, I would feel that the "abuse" of Foibs in this story did not only start when he discovered that Diana did not love him. In other words, the fact that Diana does not love him does not constitute a "point of abuse" for me. I think the most cruel part is when he discovers that the "love" he always thought of is actually oppression to Diana, and the harm he caused to Diana is irreparable. That is what makes him regret the most and the most painful. But the cuteness of Foibs' character is that when he understands what love is, he will understand that he must change, and try to learn and make up for it. He wanted to hold Diana's hand again, but he would not force Diana to go anywhere. He began to learn to respect her. *Self-harming behavior Self-harming behavior mainly appears in Chapter 62 and Chapter 64 "Madness". (This chapter is also very well written, I like QAQ very much) I think the main reason that led to Foibs' self-mutilation behavior was that he wanted to confirm that he and Diana were both "human beings." Earlier, Foybus finally realized that he had been "objectifying" Diana all along. To some extent, he might subconsciously want to punish himself because of this incident. On the other hand, he always chooses to use high-risk strategies when doing tasks, which seems to be a way to show off his skills. He is experiencing the feeling of self-control, not just as a "weapon" to obey orders. It was this that made the laboratory notice his derailment, so they wanted to use "Diana" as a threat to correct Foibs' behavior. But more importantly, Foibs longs for Diana's "love." He had said before that he wanted Diana's "sympathy". And here, he further realized why he wanted to be sympathized with, because -- "It feels good to be sympathized with by Diana." I like being sympathized with by her, feeling like I am a person and she is like a person. In this way, he is feeling Diana's "humanity" and at the same time confirming his own humanity. Then - "Why must he think that what he feels is the illusion of being loved?" Doesn't it mean that any emotion that is different from his strong and clear desire and impulse is not love? Here Febus finally realizes that love comes in different forms. The love they both share is love. *About mindfulness There is another point in Chapter 64 that interests me more, which is about "mindfulness". I studied Foibs' previous description of mindfulness. In summary, Foibs's mindfulness is to "focus attention from thoughts to the senses", that is, to use "distraction" (focusing on the senses) to control (or erase) one's inner emotions. This made me realize that although it looks a bit similar, the "mindfulness" that Ada taught Feibus is different from the "mindfulness" that I know. My understanding of mindfulness has always been learned from Thich Nhat Hanh, so during this period I re-read his books "The Miracle of Mindfulness", "The Miracle of Witness" and "You Can Not Be Angry". (The following are some excerpts from Thich Nhat Hanh's books, also indicated by "".) Among these three books, "You Can Not Be Angry" is more approachable and is highly recommended for everyone to read. In fact, when I looked at it, I felt that this book was very suitable for Foybus XD. I really wanted to say to Foybus: "Come, read this book!" (Hand it~XD "The energy of mindfulness is the energy of living in the present moment, and your body and mind are one. The "mindful breathing" method provided by Thich Nhat Hanh is very similar to Ada's. Focus on your breathing (or other senses), let yourself feel the present moment, and gain peace. But Thich Nhat Hanh said that the purpose of such practice is to help us become aware of ourselves. "A peaceful heart does not mean the absence of thoughts, emotions or feelings. Mindfulness is not about suppressing our pain, but about recognizing it, not pretending that they don't exist, and not trying to eliminate them. "We can't say, 'Angry, go away! I don't want you.'" "Because when we have stomach pain, we don't say: "Stomach, go away, I don't want you." "What we should say to it is: "Hi! My pain, my anger, my anxiety, my fear, I know you are there and I will take good care of you." When reading the following paragraph, I was also connected to the "dissociation" in Foibs' chapter. "It is very dangerous to keep thinking when we are troubled by strong emotions such as fear or anger. Emotions are like a storm, and you stand in the middle of the storm circle, how dangerous it is! But most people are used to it, dwelling on their worries and letting their emotions overwhelm them. "At this time, you should practice mindful breathing, be mindful, and focus on your breathing. "This exercise can help us discover that although an emotion is so strong, it only stays for a moment and then goes away. It does not stay forever. You must be aware that emotions are just emotions, they come and stay for a while and then go away. Why end your life because of such emotions? There are other things to cherish in life besides emotions, please remember that. At that time, Fuybus was actually not following the normal mindfulness procedures taught by Ada, which caused him to fall into a whirlpool of thoughts, leading to the "failure" of mindfulness. But I think that the so-called "mindfulness" method that Feubs has always used is still making him ignore his emotions and inducing them not to think deeply. This made me feel that Ada did not really understand the core of "cultivation", and she had her own blind spots. Ada does not seem to have a very clear "control" behavior like the doctor, but in fact, the method she advocates does not escape the categories of "control" and "suppression of subjectivity". **Listen carefully On the other hand, when I read the chapter "Compassionate Listening", it also reminded me of my previous thoughts on the guidance system. "When we see something or listen to someone speak, we are often not really seeing or listening. What we see and hear are our own assumptions and preconceptions. "The purpose of compassionate listening is not to analyze or verify what happened, but to hope that the other person's heart can be liberated and give the other person a chance to express themselves, thereby alleviating the pain in their heart. In this worldview, guides have always been taught to help others and ease their pain. However, when they provide guidance, although their starting point is to alleviate the other person's pain, they actually deny the other person's emotions... They do not really understand the other person. "You can't impose your ideas on others. Even if you can forcefully instill it into others temporarily, what you instill is just an idea, not a truly mature insight, because a real insight is more than just an idea. This is the concept of "for your own good". It can be said that the guides are also painful in nature. They are suppressed and disciplined by the system, and then the system uses their ability to guide (control) others, and they must also actively bear the pain that does not belong to them. Therefore, they may also look for others to relieve their pain. If they don't take care of themselves, how can they take care of others? "Compassion does not mean that you suffer unnecessarily or lose your judgment. Compassion does not mean allowing others to use violence against you or others, but it means making wise decisions. Kindness does not mean being passive, nor does being compassionate to others mean that you will be trampled on or destroyed. Instead, you must protect yourself and others. This passage also reminded me of Diana's final choice. She has always seemed soft, but was her final choice the so-called "selfish"? Maybe a certain part is, but the more important perspective should be: her choice means that she also wants to protect Fuybus, and Diana is powerful. I had read these books by Thich Nhat Hanh a few years ago, and this time I felt completely different when I re-read them. The reason why I want to excerpt some of the contents and put them here is mainly because they accompanied me through some inner confusions during this period and helped me develop some new perceptions, which are really touching. Therefore, I selected a few paragraphs related to this article, and I hope I can share them with you ^ ^ ... I mentioned before that you should not impose your own ideas on others. Again, the purpose of writing this article is definitely not to impose my own opinions. It is really just my own understanding and thoughts. There is no intention to change or judge anything (bow) PS. There is a confession from a wife to her husband in "You Don't Have to Be Angry". When I read this paragraph, I couldn't help but think of Feibus and Diana. The excerpt is as follows: "I know you're in pain, and I'm sorry. I know I have to take a lot of responsibility for your pain. I made a lot of mistakes that caused you more pain and I'm sorry. I hope you give me a chance to start over. I always want to make you happy, but I don't know how. Please help me to know you better and love you more. Please tell me, what are you thinking? I know you are in pain, and I must understand your pain so that I will not make the same mistake again and again. I can't do it without you, I need your help so I don't continue to hurt you, I just want to love you. To me, this passage is very similar to the unspoken voices between Foibs and Diana - what they really lack is not the will to love, but the ability to understand each other. The footer of the page also reads: "Understanding is the root of love, and understanding is love itself." Understanding is another name for love, and love is another name for understanding. "This sentence is also my own understanding and definition of "love". Love *The doctor's views on "love" Feubs once asked the doctor: "Why do you insist that I should love Diana?" The doctor replied: "What fascinates me most about life is that there are some questions for which I cannot tell the answer. "What I want to do... Uncover all the mysteries about life itself that I don't have answers to." This answer seems to be changing the topic. At the same time, it also makes me feel that what the doctor really wants is to become a "god". He insisted that the two would fall in love because, as a "god" and as the initial subject of the project, the doctor expected to see everything develop according to his wishes. If two people fall in love under their cultivation, does it mean that he is right and "love" can be manipulated...? However, not long ago, Foybus finally confirmed that his love with Diana was love. As a result, in Chapter 65 "Question", the doctor used very direct words to deny his "love". The doctor tells Fobus: "It's a pity that you don't love [her]... You can never really love." I have written before that I think the Doctor is confident that Foybus will fall in love with Diana. However, now the situation has reversed. The doctor who had always been sure that Foybus would fall in love with Diana actually denied Foybus' love. Why would the Doctor deny Foybus' love for Diana after he truly fell in love with her? Isn't this what he has been pursuing? Yes. However... That kind of confidence is more like narcissism. He does not believe in love, but believes that he can "create" love himself. He wants to control "love" and prove that he is right. That was the absolute control he had as a researcher over the outcome of his project. Now, the doctor may realize that when "love" really happens... When Foybus really falls in love with Diana, Foybus is out of his control. The private use of passivating agents is proof of this. The doctor wants to regain control of Foibs forcefully, so at this time, he must take the initiative to deny that Foibs's "love" is real. **Deny love How does the Doctor deny Foibs' love in this chapter? The first is "Flicking the forehead" - connecting Feibs' emotions back to his childhood, feeling that he had done something wrong somewhere. (As Ada said, researchers would "mythologise" themselves when they were young.) Then "ask" Fobus: "You think that how you feel and whether you are comfortable is more important than what Diana does, right?" "I'm sorry - you don't love Diana. The Doctor reversed cause and effect. This paragraph is also a kind of gaslighting, the doctor is reshaping Foibs's cognition. Looking back, why did Feubs use passivating agent privately? Isn't it because Foibs was afraid that if he didn't do his job well, Diana would be "punished"? But this sentence easily rewritten the logic in Feibs' mind. He made him feel guilty about himself. Feubs was shaken. Therefore, the doctor can show his "disappointment" - emotional blackmail. Foibs was angry about this: "What right does he have to be disappointed in him?" Obviously all the logic of his behavior was instilled in him by the Doctor. What right did the Doctor have to be disappointed in him? But "the Doctor remained indifferent to his real anger, as if he were still faking it." The Doctor is "materializing" Foibs. Denying him the ability to have emotions. Foibs asked him: "You never really taught me how to love?" But the doctor "interrupted" Foibs' questioning and used rhetorical questioning techniques to lead Foibs into self-doubt - making him feel that his argument was untenable. The doctor said: "The love that is taught is not love, but the skills of manipulation and performance." "Is it all our fault? We cold-blooded scientists who don't understand love, all blame us for not teaching you well? --Transfer of responsibility. The fact is that they did not teach him how to love, because Foybus had not been "loved". But the doctor said that love cannot be taught, which led to Fuibs wanting to accuse them of not "teaching" him how to love, creating a paradox. If Foibs wanted to affirm the sentence "It's all your fault", then he would be stuck in the choice of "must admit that he did something wrong or that he didn't love Diana", but neither answer is correct. This is what the doctor is saying, he is changing the focus. "As expected, it's because of your perfectionist tendencies... Boy." The "boy" appeared again, and it was the same as flicking the forehead, making Foibs feel that he was still a "child" and had to obey, devaluing his self-esteem and self-worth. And the doctor also defined him as "perfectionist" - another shift of responsibility. It was obvious that Fuibs chose to hide the truth because he didn't trust them and didn't want to be controlled. Foibs' "perfection" tendency was originally a trait created by them, but now it became Foibs's own fault. At this time, the doctor "taught" him what it means to be "wise" and to "accept help from others." In essence, it denies Fobus's self-subjectivity. Denying Foibs the ability to have sound judgment, he was told to take orders, obey, and not have any ideas of his own. He will "help" him solve his problems. At the same time, they must accept the "punishment" - confinement. The doctor also informed Foibs that Diana would also be placed in confinement with him. This is tantamount to telling Foibs that all the freedoms he has now are given by him and can be taken back at any time. The purpose of punishing Diana was the same as before, which was to make Foibs suffer and blame himself so that he would not dare to disobey them in the future. Foibs was struck down by his own imagination just as he expected. "Real hell - imagine your loved one being tortured. Later, when Foybus was released from confinement and found out that Diana was still fine, I also thought, great... Luckily Diana is fine. Then I realized that I had also been fooled by the doctor (the author). I was completely in Foubs's perspective. At that moment, I felt deeply sad for Foibs, so painful and sad... However, I don't know if this was self-defeating by the Doctor himself. I think it was the moment when Foibs clearly realized that he was being manipulated that allowed him to completely see through the Doctor. ***Differences in treatment of Ray and Foibs In fact, this paragraph reminds me of "Come to Me" again. After the researchers "retrieved" Eve, they still only arranged for Jiujiu to guide Lei at first, and their attitude toward Eve didn't seem to be very warm. But for Lei, after retrieving Eve, all other "Eves" became dispensable to him. He only wanted the real Eve. (The reason why Eve felt uncomfortable when she saw Ray's attitude towards others was because she felt Ray's "objectification" and disrespect for others.) Therefore, when the researchers discovered that Ray's strong attachment to Eve had exceeded what they thought was controllable, they changed their attitude towards Eve. So Eve would feel that she had always been perfunctory with "no comment", but suddenly one day it changed, and it seemed that she was willing to tell her everything - for example, the truth about Helen. I wrote about this part in detail in my previous thoughts on "Come to Me", so I won't repeat the details here and will only briefly summarize the context. I think the purpose of the doctor doing this is to enable Eve to actively sympathize with and favor Lei after learning the "truth", and then they can use this "favor"... To use Eve to continue to control Lei. At that time, the reason why Lei was angry at their casual "telling the truth" may be because he knew that this was the doctor's usual method of "control". He did not want Eve to be manipulated, nor did he want Eve to choose him out of "sympathy". Comparatively speaking, I think Ray has a more detached status than Foibs in "Come to Me". Even though he is still in a controlled state, what I actually feel is that Ray behaves more his own way, and the researchers are more afraid or awe of Ray than they are of Foibs. I guess another possible reason is that the researchers have always denied Eve's existence to him, which made Ray even more disgusted or distrustful of the researchers. He may have realized that he was being manipulated, but after being in such an environment for a long time, Lei's character had been solidified, so he would still be accustomed to being within the framework of the laboratory, and did not choose to defect to freedom alone (of course, it may also be that the sentry tower has tighter control over him). *The truth of the experiment The doctor before strongly denied "love", which raised a question. If you just want to control Fuybus, why do you need to use the theme of "love"? So, in Chapter 66 "Night Road", Ada told Fuybus the "truth" about the experiment. This chapter can be said to be the core of the whole story, but it is not a chapter that only provides information, because its emotional description is also very delicate. I really like the interaction between Ada and Foibs in this chapter. Why did Foybus have to fall in love with Diana? --Because only if Foibs falls in love with Diana can she become the safety bolt that controls him. --As long as there is "love" between them, the researcher can control Foibs by controlling Diana. In other words, what people in the laboratory call "love" is essentially a blasphemy against "love". Even, Ada said: "Love is a two-way control." I had never looked at love the way Ada said it, and this argument surprised me because I thought Ada's definition of love was... Distorted. **My projection of Ada Before that, my main impression of Ada was actually "Helen". When writing my thoughts on "Come to Me", I can say that my feelings towards Helen were quite positive. Even though I admit that what she did was flawed, I think she loved Eve deeply. Similarly, when Eve later learns the truth, she has a love-hate relationship with Helen, but she will eventually choose to forgive her because of her love. When I was watching "Failure", I unconsciously inherited my previous impression of Helen and projected it onto Ada. …I almost confuse Helen with Ada. In particular, every time I see Diana, I think of Eve, and I can't help but compare them. I will note that Diana's awakening as a guide was due to Ada's departure; The fixed dialogue pattern in which Diana is complained about by Foybus is also very similar to Eve's always mentioning "Helen said"; At the beginning of the story, Diana was so happy to contact Ada through that phone call, which also made me think that Diana's love for Ada is the same as Eve's love for Helen... When I see Diana being disciplined as a guide... Diana who is too humble in front of Fobus... I feel very sad. Then, I would unconsciously look back again and affirm the "choice" Helen "helped" Eve make in "Come to Me". --I think I completely understand why Helen had to take Eve away. I also saw the third if ending in the author's blog - that is the possibility of Diana being completely an ordinary person. Eve, who grew up as an ordinary person, would have lived a very peaceful and "ordinary" life if she had not been found by Lei and had not awakened as a guide at all. However, in contrast, this so-called "ordinary" is actually a very beautiful possibility... That Eve or Diana in other timelines would long for. As a woman, Ada is able to occupy a place in the laboratory. For others, she may already be a model of successful women. But in the extra chapter "Fairy Tale", I will find that even so, she still faces constraints from all aspects of the laboratory's power structure - she will be called "scornful names" and will also suffer gossip from others, not to mention that her achievements cannot be taken seriously because of the existence of a doctor. Ada herself was unable to change the difficult situation of being a woman in this society. So, she worked very hard, hoping that Diana could at least break through the guide's dilemma of being framed by female stereotypes. The reason why Ada proposed to screen fairy tales was essentially for Diana's sake, so that she would not be subtly influenced by the education under the patriarchal system since she was a child. Ada made her own limited efforts. (Perhaps it was also during this period that little Foybus noticed that Ada "loved" Diana, but not him.) This preference may be Ada's expectation and projection of her daughter as an oppressed woman. Helen is essentially the same as Ada. The only difference is that Helen successfully brought Eve into the world of ordinary people. Helen knew very well that "female guides" had more constraints and disciplines than simply being a woman. She had no ability to change the system, so she "choose" to let Eve not become a guide. In Helen's view, this is the only best choice, and it is also the greatest "freedom" she can use her own power to give Eve - limited freedom. Her intentions may be good. However, this move also represented that Helen completely denied the possibility of being a "female guide". However, back at this moment, Ada said: "I am more concerned about what the guide can do - I will not set limits for Diana." Only at this moment did I realize that the actions of Ada and Helen were mutually exclusive between the two stories. **My redefinition of Helen Perhaps if Ada had succeeded in taking Diana away, she would have become "Helen". However, the fact is that Helen's final choice to feed Eve a passivating agent is completely different from the concept and logic expressed by Ada at this moment. When Helen destroyed the "freedom" that Eve's talent gave her, she completely failed to consider that Eve might wake up one day. Eve, deprived of her talent, will never have Diana's choice again. When I was watching "Come to Me" before, I thought I could understand Eve's hatred for Helen. However, it was not until this moment that I realized that my original experience was still too shallow. Helen... Is indeed selfish. I found that not only the doctor in this story, but Ada and Helen were also extremely self-aware and extremely self-centered people. This reminds me of Diana's later attitude when faced with "sterilization". She was so disgusted. **About sterilization In Chapter 70 "Will", Diana said: "... Possess this ability, this possibility." This is completely different from being completely deprived of this possibility and losing this ability. Once upon a time, Diana accepted "for your own good", a very important framework in guide education. So in the past, she would use "it's for your own good" as an excuse to take the initiative to provide guidance for Feibs. At that time, she believed that the purpose of what she was doing was correct and just, and she practiced it. (Or, all the guides in the entire system must believe that what they are doing is correct.) But at that moment, when Diana heard the truth, she realized that was not the case. The researcher's attitude towards "sterilizing" them, saying it is for your own good, is actually like treating kittens and puppies... Not "people". Therefore, she will realize that she is not willing to be deprived of her fertility "for" anyone else's reasons. So she said, "I don't want to, I don't agree, I don't want to do this surgery, I want to refuse." Diana made clear her distaste for sterilization. She had never expressed her will so clearly and strongly before. Diana, who has always been submissive, re-expresses her self-subjectivity here. ***Reunderstanding Eve's pain Helen fed Eve a passivating agent as a means of "controlling" Eve. In essence, it is the same as all actions in the story that are advertised as "for your own good". It seems to be "giving help", but in fact it ignores a person's personal will... It is all about objectifying others. Helen used her own subjective value to destroy Eve's possibility. That is not the equality and respect that a "person" should have. My past interpretation of her was too one-sided. The harm she caused to Eve was not a pain that could be erased at will. In particular, Eve is different from Diana. It wasn't until Diana was about to be deprived of her right to have children that she faced her subjectivity again - or she truly "awakened". As for Eve, she was raised by Helen to be a very "normal" woman with strong self-subjectivity. When Eve discovered that Helen, who gave her this value, was also controlling her...? ——This is the reason why Eve is most shocked, and also the reason why she has a strong hatred for Helen. Eve's feelings about her talents being taken away and her resentment about her life being manipulated should be even deeper than Diana's. Ray once told Eve that she would become stronger when they were combined, which was not a lie. If Eve could have Diana's talent, she might actually be able to take revenge on Ray with her own hands for Helen. Or, even if Eve finally falls in love with and forgives Ray... She and Ray may be like the ending of "Failure" - with the possibility of breaking out of the prison and gaining "freedom". Eve will have the power to choose. Rather than being locked up in a laboratory passively and hopelessly forever like in "Come to Me", he can never hope for freedom. However, all this is no longer possible. All possibilities for Eve as a "guide" were killed by Helen herself from the very beginning. But at the same time... Helen's influence on Eve was too deep. While she dominated Eve, she also gave her her own love. I couldn't deny the authenticity of Helen's love for Eve, and neither could Eve. So she will eventually choose to forgive Helen because of her love for Helen. As a result, now, I discovered that for Ada, love is actually a means of manipulation. In other words, maybe Helen is also using "love" to control Eve. This gave me goosebumps. ***Diana's transformation In comparison, Ada means something different to Diana. Although Diana had Ada's love for her, Ada also expressed her deep care and love for Diana. But after all, Ada did not always grow up with Diana. Ada was kicked out of the laboratory prematurely by the Doctor. Therefore, Ada's influence on Diana is limited. Therefore, Diana finally said to Foibs: "You will never understand... How evil they—including Ada—designed us and trained us, how pathetic they have made us." No amount of love can change the evil itself, just like ink drops falling into clear water, it will never be clear water again. After Diana learned the truth, she did not have the strong conflicting feelings of love and hate that Eve had for Helen. For Diana - Ada's love cannot offset the harm they have caused to her. From this sentence, I saw Diana's transformation. In the name of "good for you"..."Good for everyone", the researchers shaped Foibs into a "weapon". They use "good for you" to package all "evil" purposes - exploiting a person's right to decide his own destiny. Diana knew that her presence was the scabbard that bound Foibs. However, the essence of all these actions is to destroy the personality of Foibs and ignore the "humanity" of Foibs. They did not regard Foybus as a "person." Diana herself is objectified, and so is Foybus. And compared to myself, Ada has been given a certain degree of choice and possibility from the beginning... Just like Eve, she can even live normally in a world without Ray. But the part that was destined to be missing from the very beginning of Foibs' design cannot be changed. Fobus will always be flawed, and he may never truly "understand" certain emotions. Without Diana, Foybus would never be able to live alone and like an ordinary person throughout his life. But now, Fuybus is no longer someone she can let go of. Because Diana knew very well that none of the researchers cared about the "person" Foibs. Researchers are also ambivalent. They were afraid that Foybus was inhumane and would enjoy killing, but in fact, they didn't care at all that Foybus actually "not only didn't enjoy it". They are taking advantage of his "inhumanity" to carry out their mission - because "weapons" don't make mistakes. No one cared that Foybus actually had "human nature" - "Maybe that shouldn't be called human nature." That is mercy, compassion, compassion. But Diana could feel Foibs' tenderness and "love" for herself. So, she will know that this is all wrong. Foybus didn't deserve to be treated like this. Ada shouldn't have done this to him either. At this moment, I knew for sure that Diana loved Feuibs. It is precisely because she loves Foybus that she can understand the tragedy of Foybus and why she is so sad. **The Doctor's manipulation of Diana What I think is more amazing is that Diana's first reaction when she heard "defection" was that she thought she could talk to the doctor. In contrast, Foibs knows very well that "talking" to the Doctor will never buy respect, freedom, or even being allowed to have one's own self. But a sensitive person like Diana does not realize that the Doctor is the deepest controller, and even feels sad about the Doctor's death at the end. Perhaps because it is from Foibs' perspective, we did not see "with our own eyes" the doctor's manipulation of Diana. But this does not mean that she is less manipulated, but perhaps the method of manipulation is different from that of Feibs. The doctor obviously exerts mental control and logical brainwashing on Fobus, while on Diana, he relies more on institutional discipline and cultural internalization to achieve control. He believes that institutions and education can create an "obedient guide" without much additional intervention. Therefore, his control over Diana's words and instillation of values seem to be relatively simple and crude, just like he once said to her before: "You should act more cute" and so on. This form of manipulation does not make Diana directly feel malicious, but makes it more difficult for her to detect that it is the source of oppression. From another perspective, the doctor himself is very "confident" in the various evil ways he talks about, and he is full of "sincerity" in his belief system. Just like his previous conversation with Eve, if you think about it carefully, there seems to be no "lying" in his statement. He appears in Diana's perception, and perhaps therefore Diana will not feel particularly "malicious". After all, these are things that the doctor believes "from the bottom of his heart." Such "speech art" can also make people mistakenly think that he is gentle and trustworthy. So even if Diana is sensitive, she may not be able to identify the nature of harm or manipulation. Daphne made it clear at 30 that she "hated the Doctor" because he was "terrible". However, "Orion couldn't sense how scary he was. I guess that as a doctor who is a true perfectionist, when he sees Daphne, who is 99% "imperfect", he may not be able to wear the mask of "perfection" like when he faces "one hundred". (Perhaps because of the accident that "destroyed" Orion that year, Daphne also understood part of the "truth" about the laboratory earlier.) In addition, the doctor attaches more importance to the sentry and looks down on the guide, so Daphne can easily feel the "scary" side of the doctor (Marcus is also aware of it), but Orion and Bellona, who are sentinels, do not have the same perception. ***The Necessity of Pain & Ada's Effect on Diana As I write this, what suddenly occurred to me is, if Foybus had expressed his love for Diana from the beginning, would they have become like Bellona and Marcus, accepting and dependent on the system? Because I actually feel that it is precisely because the love line between the two is full of twists and turns that they will clearly realize in the process that there is something wrong with this system. In particular, the education Diana received in the past has always been how to please Fobus and how to be loved by him. But precisely because Foibs constantly instilled in Diana that he did not love her and hated her, perhaps Diana would feel "conflicted" from it. Because no matter how hard she tried, it was meaningless, and she even couldn't find the value of her own existence. She will see the gap between Foibs and herself - "privilege" and "injustice". So she might be a little confused. She also longs for freedom, the freedom to not choose Feibs. But as a guide, as a woman, she has no choice at all under this system. She is an objectified "tool" and is even replaceable (can be replaced by other guides). At the same time, her ability as a guide will only make her more sensitive to emotions, and she will better understand what pain is. Therefore, she decided to continue to be Foibs's destiny guide at that time because if she did not choose this way, it might cause trouble to Daphne. The core logic of this sentence is that she is affirming Daphne's value as a "person" (she is really good to Daphne), but at the same time she also accepts her fate as a "tool" (denying her own subjectivity). She believed that her unwillingness was nothing compared to causing pain to others. This was fate and she had to obey. In this regard, Diana has a higher degree of internalization of guide education than Daphne. So returning to the previous question, if Foybus showed his love for Diana from the beginning, would she think the system was good? After thinking about it carefully, I came to the conclusion that feeling love and longing for freedom are not contradictory. Even in the context of love, the oppression of the guidance system itself remains. According to Diana's character, she may figure it out a little later, but she will definitely yearn for "freedom." Because Diana had already experienced the pain of losing Ada before. That kind of pain cannot be erased, and she will know that what she likes and wants can be taken away by others at any time. Ada's departure will let Diana know that the rules of the laboratory are defined by others. After Ada leaves this laboratory, there will no longer be anyone who truly loves her like Ada. The gap between this will definitely make Diana realize that the world she lives in is different after Ada leaves. Perhaps this is why, Diana has always expressed her love and longing for Ada before. Because Ada not only gave her love, but also constructed values with her as the main body. Under Ada's love, she felt the importance of valuing herself. That feeling must be different from the education she received later. That's why the sense of loss or despair she felt later was so strong. Although Diana may have numbed part of herself through education and guidance, she will know that some things are worth questioning. At that time, she had basically given up on her "love" for Foybus. Therefore, she was "brave" and rebellious at that moment and said to the doctor: "I don't want to be Foibs' guide." This means that at that time, she still retained a weakened subjectivity. However, she still forced herself to suppress this rebellion. So after the union, when she found out that she was loved, she was very insensitive. She couldn't "like" Foybus as passionately as before, and it was even difficult to "love" again. Because she had closed herself off during these disciplines. Now, how did Diana transform? It's because in the process of falling in love with her, Foybus gradually realized that the possessive and "loving" way he used to "love" Diana was wrong - and then he learned how to love someone correctly. Originally, Feibs, who had flaws, could almost never give her the same "love" that was truly reciprocal. But now, Fuibs tried to change himself for her. Foibs tried to understand her and respect her. This step is the same as Lei. Therefore, Diana will be re-attracted to Foybus, because Foybus is firmly towards Diana. Just as Eve fell in love with Ray, Diana fell in love with Foybus again. They understand and tolerate each other. The most beautiful part of this story is that two people who didn't know how to love finally learned how to love each other. But this does not mean that if they had not experienced these setbacks, they would not have achieved their current ending. No. Just like Foibs, as long as he truly falls in love with Diana, he will definitely realize what kind of love can make the other person happy, so he will definitely change himself. So does Ray. Pain may make people grow, but it does not mean that pain is necessary. In particular, the cause of these sufferings is essentially systemic oppression. Their awakening and growth come from their understanding of what true love is and what true freedom is, and it is also their resistance and reflection on this system. So, no matter what, taking the initiative to break away from the framework will eventually happen, but it may have an impact on the length of time. I have confidence and expectations for such a future. **Guide ability? A slight digression here. Because Ada mentioned a very interesting idea in this paragraph, what can "a guide who combines the talents of a sentinel" do? This reminds me of the "A-level" male guide Edward King who appeared before. He once said: "Male guides and female sentinels are considered to have irreparable physical defects and are not rated S in principle." Why is the outpost unwilling to recognize male S-class guides? I think maybe it's because men are more aggressive in sentry towers. (Well, of course, this may also be a gender stereotype.) But imagine if a highly aggressive person became a guide, would it be easy for him to escape control? When the guide can use his aggression and control to make the sentry obey him, then the guide will naturally become the "superior/dominant person" - which can be expected to destroy all the ecological systems currently maintained by the sentry tower. This may be a breakthrough in the development of "guide" ability in Ada's mind. What's interesting is that when Ada was making guides, the majority were women. I guess because Ada herself is a woman, she wanted to change the status quo of female guides. It's a pity that she left the laboratory in the end, so it failed. It was also mentioned in the 30 questions between Bellona and Marcus that the researchers increased the aggressive tendency in Bellona's genes, and Bellona was originally designed to be a "female guide." I don't know if the increased aggressiveness was Ada's work, but no matter what, their original plan failed, because Bellona finally became a sentinel instead of a guide. As for Marcus, as an S-class male guide... It was obvious that he was finally trained to meet the sentry tower's definition of a guide. He was obedient and considerate... He even "acted coquettishly" towards Bellona. He placed himself in the position of a submissive sentinel. Back to Edward. In the article, he seems to be a very strong and independent male guide, but he is "willing to always display his rating as A"... Why? Is it because if it becomes S-class, it will threaten the ecosystem? Did the sentry tower want to suppress him to level A so that they could not control higher powers? And he voluntarily regarded himself as A-level, perhaps because it could put him in a stable position without being feared (self-protection). What's more, he is obviously in the role of a male guide bound by this system, but he actively stands in the position of maintaining this system (interrogating Foibs), and even actively participates in the subsequent investigation of the defection (it seems that he was also involved in the punishment of Ada?) This makes me wonder, is his motive for doing this because he has become a vested interest in the system and supports the system, or is he compromising on the surface, but actually he has a deeper plan? Although this character appears very rarely, he is very impressive every time. I am actually very interested in this character. When I saw his name again in the extra chapter, I felt that the author should have set up his story. I am looking forward to seeing stories about him again. **Ada and the Doctor Going back to the front again, when Ada said "As a means of manipulation, love is too dangerous," I suddenly realized that her views on "love" were consistent with the doctor's. The doctor also knew that relying only on "love" was dangerous, so he once tried to add "coordinates" to Foibles, so he asked Foibs to pursue fame, power, merit and praise. But it turned out that those things were too boring for Foibs, so Foibs once asked the doctor, what did the doctor want? The doctor said: "What you want is love. He added: "I met the love that I cherished the most, but in the end, I gave up on her." According to judgment, the love he mentioned should come from Ada. However, according to my understanding, the doctor once again reversed the cause and effect of this incident. It was obvious that Ada was the one who gave up on him first. In the previous 30 questions of the extra chapter "Come to Me", I wrote that the doctor's love for Ada was a kind of self-impression, and he did not really love Ada. I still have the same opinion now. But one thing is different. I thought Ada had loved him before, but after reading that I just mentioned that Ada's understanding of love is manipulation, I'm a little bit unsure again. In the "Fairy Tale" extra chapter, her power struggle with the Doctor was regarded by others as a "interest". This made me realize that Ada might also be using this "love" to engage in a power struggle between the two in the laboratory. And it's not just Ada herself taking advantage of this love. In this extra chapter, it is obvious that the doctor is also using Ada. Both of them used "love" as an excuse to help themselves achieve the purpose of this experiment. However, when Ada was no longer able to reproduce the results of "One Hundred", the doctor reduced her value to worthless - the doctor easily attributed her results to "coincidence", which was tantamount to completely denying Ada's credit. The doctor also said that it didn't matter whether she was in the laboratory or not, because - "All her research plans were communicated with me in private." In this regard, I completely agree with what Richard said. The meaning of this sentence can almost be regarded as a kind of "plagiarism" This makes me feel that the doctor is really shameless. But at the same time, this sentence made me feel that Ada might have loved the Doctor. Because Ada loves him, she trusts the doctor so much. This also means that Ada actually knows what true "love" is, but now she has a very pessimistic view of "love", so she agrees with the doctor's view of love in disguise. No matter what, the moment Ada took the initiative to choose "betrayal", I'm sure Ada had seen through the doctor and decided not to love the doctor anymore. Relatively speaking, the doctor can easily say that he "gave up" on Ada. I think that's because he didn't love her much in the first place. What he really loved was himself and his "own" research. What's more, Ada no longer loves him. At the end, the doctor hung up Ada's portrait again... I also think it was mostly a performance. Everyone knows about the deep love setting. But no matter how hard he performed, in the end he completely deprived Ada of the possibility of engaging in the scientific research she loved. This fact also made me feel that the doctor actually felt the threat Ada posed to him, so he needed to use such strong means to block Ada's "freedom". Of course, people are very complicated. As an outsider, I can't really define that the love between them is not love, otherwise it would be a kind of arrogance. However, is love really a means of manipulation? ... Is that really "love"? I don't think so. Love that can be manipulated is definitely not true love. --The Doctor doesn't understand love at all. In other words, he doesn't believe in "love" at all. **Ada's views on Foibs Ada's pessimistic attitude towards love made me feel again why she could not "believe" in Foibs. Perhaps in Ada's eyes, Diana has a strong ability to empathize, so she must understand what love is. However, how can you understand what "love" is if you rely on a weapon that was not designed to have empathy in the first place? It's so uncontrollable. For Ada, the "weapon" that does not understand what "true love" is may just be able to use the guide's "love" for her to control the other person. This is what Ada does not want to see. This also explains why she only prefers Diana, and why Helen left with only Eve. Ada didn't believe in the weapons she made... She didn't believe that Febus could have feelings. For Ada, she may have always felt that even if Fuybus showed "love", it was just pretending. ***Anti-social? Ada once expressed that based on their observations, Foibs has a high possibility of becoming a psychopath with antisocial personality tendencies. As a reader, I have always been puzzled by this argument because I have always looked at things from Feubs's perspective. So, I looked up the criteria for judging antisocial personality (refer to Wikipedia): 1. Violating the law: This is probably why the doctor initially "educated" him to "not break the law", because if he flouted the law, it would be easy for the sentry tower to determine that he indeed had an antisocial personality? 2. Repeated lying: Foybus will first consider lying when faced with a situation where he can lie. For example, when he thought Diana "betrayed", to the researcher, he was lying. But in fact, he wants to keep his privacy because of his strong self-awareness. If others know his sincerity, it will be easy for others to control him. Therefore, lying is actually his defensive psychology, rather than a subjective desire to use lies to control others. Even so, Foibs did have the mood to "manipulate others". Generally speaking, when facing people like Regula, he found that some of his performances could make the other person feel panic (such as smiling and saying terrible things). For Foibs, he felt that this was his victory, because before that, these people were on the side of controlling him. 3. Impulsive and unable to plan in advance: At that time, he took Diana and rushed directly to find Ada, right? 4. Irritability + Aggression: For other friends, this is very consistent. 5. Not caring about one's own safety and the safety of others: ... Self-inflicted harm also counts. 6. No sense of responsibility & 7. Lack of guilt: When the researchers asked him why he often made Diana cry, Feubs's answer was why didn't Diana learn not to cry? And there is no hint of repentance. In addition, Diana is his exclusive guide for the future, so this will also be judged as having no sense of responsibility. (Actually, I think it's just awkward little brat behavior...) All in all, if you insist on making a comparison, you will find that Foibs' performance can easily be misunderstood as meeting these conditions. In other words, for Ada and the researchers, they may feel that their inferences about Foibs's "sociopath" are well-founded. But in fact, they don't understand Foybus at all! Although Feubs does lack the strong empathy that ordinary people would show, he is not completely lacking. I have written before that I don't think Feubs had ever gotten anything truly pure or well-intentioned in the laboratory before. He has seen the "love" that Ada gave to Diana, but he has never experienced what it feels like, so he will long for love. He once really longed for Ada to be like "mother" and have unconditional preference. He didn't lie because he wanted to manipulate others, he just... Didn't trust the researcher. For him, keeping his privacy is to prevent himself from being controlled. He wants to have "freedom." He accepted the values ​​of researchers at a very young age, so he always felt that other people's praises were not true kindness. Coupled with Diana's past "betrayal", he could not believe that Diana was "genuinely" caring about him - he had misunderstood for a long time that it was the researcher who told her. Foibs has always been in an insecure environment, with no one he can trust - he has always been lonely and longed for love. And Ada, very arrogantly, completely denied the possibility of his "love". Ada may feel that Foibs doesn't understand what love is, so there is no point in giving him love. So she never gave Foybus love. She doesn't think she needs to understand an "emotionless" "weapon" either. She and the researchers did not understand Foybus as a "person" at all. They were arrogant, so they would arbitrarily label him as "antisocial" without understanding him at all. ... I have always felt that labeling people at will is a kind of "objectification" or even "stigmatization". People often like to label people, all kinds of labels... They are happy to use labels to define a person's value, so as to show that they have the power to criticize and control others, but they don't care whether those labeled have inner difficulties or whether they have unique subjectivity. Just like here, they denied from the beginning that Foybus had "normal" human feelings and emotions, and easily labeled Foybus as antisocial based on their own will, completely ignoring Foybus's deep needs, and he could only say nothing because he was "lower in power" in the laboratory. ***Ada's control? I'm thinking again, from another perspective, Ada, who chose not to give "love", has also achieved control over Foibs to a certain extent. In other words, Ada used her "love" for Diana to reversely manipulate Foibs. Like this moment, Foybus shows emotional trust in Ada here. However, Ada did not confess everything to Foibs out of trust in him. My favorite part of this chapter is how angry Foybus is when he realizes that Ada has talked about the concept of "defection" to him, and he thinks again - Ada doesn't "love" Diana enough! But the reason for his anger at this time is no longer the "jealousy" of Ada that he wrote about before. Because in Foibs' view, letting a dangerous sentinel know that the meaning of his guide's existence is a yoke that limits him is tantamount to putting this guide in danger. But Ada actually told him the truth so "casually". If Foibs didn't really love Diana... Ada's "defection" remarks were tantamount to instigating him to hurt Diana, that's why he felt so angry. But later he realized that when Ada said this, she was actually affirming that he "loved" Diana. This argument is in sharp contrast to the previous denial by the doctor. Just because Ada knew he loved her, she felt confident. This shows that Ada, like Foibs, still loves Diana deeply. In other words, the only person Ada really wanted to protect and love was Diana. Then, I thought that Ada might be using her love for Diana to indirectly control Foibs. Feubs will unconsciously seek Ada's opinion because of Ada's love for Diana and her affirmation of her "love". The Doctor can use Ada's defection to manipulate Feibus, and of course Ada can also use the "truth" to make Feibus "think" on his own. Although this meeting was an accident, revealing the "truth" will be Foibs' breakthrough. Ada once again joined the game with the doctor. As they said when they first started their conversation: "Freedom always comes at a price." I think this is a double-entendre reminder that she is telling Foybus that if you want to be free you have to take risks. At that time, Ada also said: "I can say that I feel guilty and regretful... But the truth is... You must know, Foibs - because I think my own thoughts are more important." The former Foybus was also such a person. In the past, he always focused on his own thoughts. For example, he once felt that as long as Diana was by his side, it would be fine. He would not consider whether Diana was happy by his side. However, here, he heard Ada say this, and Fuibs's answer was: "I don't know now." When I saw this, I felt very, very moved. Foybus has really grown. *True love Revisiting Foybus's emotional line. Foibs has always thought that what he wants to pursue is "freedom" and "love" is not important. For him, Diana's "specialness" may have originally originated from the physiological reaction caused by a 100% match. However, he later discovered that without Diana, even freedom would be meaningless. Just like when he went to the beach for the first time, happiness disappeared so easily. Without Diana, even if you get "freedom", life will be boring. He would think of Diana when he was lonely, and he would think of Diana when he was bored. Every dream was about Diana. Foibs always had Diana in his imagination of his future. How is this not love? Later, the moment that really made him realize that he was attracted was because he felt that he felt... Diana loved him. Fobus longs to be loved, and Diana loves him, so he wants to love Diana too. Only when he truly falls in love with Diana does he feel hurt when he discovers that she doesn't actually love him. Originally, he could be a coward, thinking that as long as Diana married him and never left him, it would be fine. But as he got to know Diana better, he finally realized how deeply he had hurt Diana... The way he "loved" Diana was wrong. If it's just possession, just satisfying one's own desires, that's not true "love." So, how should he love Diana correctly? He began to understand himself again. "Want to love. Want to be loved. Wanting to love this person, wanting to be loved by her as a human being. ... Not a thing, but a person. He wanted to love Diana as a person, and he wanted Diana to love him as a person. He wants to become a "human" because of "love". Fobus, who longed to become a "human", could no longer bear to be treated as an emotionless "object". Foybus truly fell in love with Diana as a "person". Moreover, he worked hard to make Diana, who had been "objectified", gradually become a "human" again in their relationship. Foybus "got his wish" and fell in love with Diana. But what does this "love" bring to them? --It's a double share of pain. Because Feibus is defined as a "weapon". He is not allowed to be a "person". If he doesn't become the "perfect" "weapon" to perform the mission... He would make Diana suffer... Diana would suffer because of herself. However, can he find "freedom" as Michelle said? Can you gain freedom by defecting? Ada told Fuybus: Not necessarily. Because guides are highly socialized, they have strong empathy and group (friend) needs. So for Diana, defecting may not be the best option. This is the treacherous part of the sentry tower. They made the guide the rope that trapped the sentry. (I like the description of wilderness in the original text.) A sentinel who truly loves his guide cannot just watch his guide suffer because of him. When Diana becomes the only person Foibs cares about, he will be constrained by his love. He cannot defect alone. Because of "love", he is willing to give up his longing for "freedom". In other words, his understanding of "freedom" in the past was too poor. Real freedom should be the right to choose. Therefore, having fallen in love with Diana, he could not give up on Diana and leave on his own. That's why he said: "Her thoughts are more important than mine, because she treated me like this." The sentence structure of this sentence seems very similar to the "Guide Principle" that Diana followed before, but the essence is different. My understanding of this sentence is that Foibs knows that his happiness comes from Diana, so he hopes that she can be happy. But it was not because he gave up his will, but because of his love and trust in Diana. "They emphasize the importance of love in order to use love to control, but... Freedom without what you love will make me suffer even more than now." Foybus has always longed for freedom, but he is only human if he has "love". With only freedom and no love, he is still an empty shell. It was Diana's existence that made Foybus understand what love is. Diana is Foybus's salvation. Therefore, he chose to tell Diana the complete truth and then left it to her to judge and decide. He gave Diana the control over the relationship between the two. He respects and trusts her choice. Feibus understood at this moment that true love is understanding and trust. The Doctor can use Ada's defection to manipulate Feibus, and of course Ada can also use the "truth" to make Feibus "think" on his own. *Failure As mentioned earlier, the opportunity that really affected Diana was when she faced "sterilization". When Diana expressed her unwillingness to have her uterus removed, she initially recoiled. Because in guide education, that's not right. "I've been asking you to restrain yourself, to be patient, to be obedient. Now... Is it his turn to comfort her, distract her, tell her why she shouldn't resist? But it was for Diana that Fuibs allowed himself to endure it till now. "He never wanted to hold back, and he didn't want her to submit. Let them defect. Foibs knew that as long as they were still in this set framework, they could not have pure "love". He did not want to continue to be controlled by the researchers. Because true love cannot be manipulated. True love requires loving yourself first. True love is understanding and trust. True love wants each other to be happy. The researcher's topic is "love", but none of them know what love is. In their understanding... That kind of twisted thing is not love. Can we say that it's a good thing that no one taught Foybus what "love" is? Therefore, the positioning of the subject is essentially wrong. The core of the experiment—making 100% matched Sentinels and Guides fall in love—did succeed. But the purpose of the experiment - to manipulate them with their love for each other - failed completely. True "love" freed the two "experimental subjects" from the researcher's control. Therefore, to the researchers, they are - "failed works of love" --But they are a combination of pure love. True love cannot make them willing to become tools for each other's manipulation. Human emotions should not be trampled on, nor should they become a plaything in the hands of arrogant people. At this time, Diana no longer tried to "coach" Foibs forcefully as before. She said: "Some emotions don't need to be resolved, just let them flow naturally." Diana changed and grew. The love that Feibus himself understood made him learn to reflect, learn to respect, and learn to truly love someone from the bottom of his heart and hope that the other person will be happy as well. And Diana will make her own choice based on the same reasons of loving and respecting him. They will want each other to be happy. This love is very, very beautiful. Diana here will take the initiative to think that I am more important than others, and value myself first before considering others. She wants to fight for her own freedom, she wants her and the people she loves to be happy, and she doesn't need to consider anything else. Diana regained her self-subjectivity. It is also because of this love for each other that they have the courage to resist the system together. Because of love, they choose freedom; because of love, they are no longer designed products, but people who truly have choices and self-will. Wow wow wow, I re-read this chapter and I was still moved to pieces, I loved it so much. Once again, I sigh, "The Failure of Love" - what an excellent and ironic topic, BRAVO! ! ! About the ending *Orion and Daphne I think the highlight of the finale is Daphne and Orion XD I didn't hate Daphne when she was Ninety-nine, and I was even more struck by Daphne in "The Fail". At the critical moment, when Regula persuaded her to give up Orion, what she was thinking was: "You are not allowed to make a casual decision and destroy him again——" I was really moved by Daphne in this episode, so moved that I wanted to cry. To her, Orion was the most important and favorite person. She had no ability to stop it in the past, but this time she didn't want to give up if she had the ability. She had always been such a persistent person when she was ninety-nine. Daphne's love and hate have always been the most passionate and sincere. She would not have thought that without Orion she would no longer be free from being bound to the lab. At this moment, she is the "hero" in "Heroes Save Beauty", and Orion is the "princess" waiting to be rescued. This is really interesting. After all, among the three pairs of sentinel guides trained in the laboratory, none of them were a completely conventional pairing. In terms of personalities of Daphne and Orion, Daphne as a guide is the truly strong one. She is more aggressive than Orion. "Fate" was unfair to her and left her with flaws, but she never wanted to give in to fate. So she would find a way to develop the ability to invade the mind. She and Orion also first discovered the new sentinel ability. (PS. Second read of Daphne Orion's 30 Questions. I really think they are super delicious... I really want to ask for more extras... I am very happy that they can finally leave the life in District 9. I hope they will always be free and happy.) **Foibs and Orion I have always felt that the reason why Feibs has been irritating Orion is because compared to Daphne Orion is too unmotivated to work hard. Although Fuibs behaved badly, the essence of what he said was concern. Back then, Fuibs also wanted to whisper to Orion, and that's why he wanted to try the "psychic invasion" between sentinels with him. Foibs said: "You should work harder yourself, you are too weak." "When he angered Orion, he might be thinking of himself. He said: "You know that they are happy to see you giving up on yourself and not daring to conquer your own fears, yet you still go along with their wishes." But I think that Foybus said this was one of the few things he showed... "Empathy" towards others. He even defined this passage as "enlightenment" Because I guess what Foibs was thinking at the time was: If he were in Orion's current position, then he would choose to make himself stronger instead of giving up on himself, so that Diana would always be dragged down by him and never be free. Foibs, who said this, may have decided to defect at that time. Because for him, making Diana happy is more important than himself. This also reminds me that when Feubs heard that Marcus was not confident because "the Sentinels have the privilege of being unfaithful", he would say: "You are already combined, you can feel her emotions and see her soul." What can't you be sure of? (Orion also agrees with this, it's rare for the two of them to unite on the front XD) The reason why Foibs said this was because at that time he had truly understood what "love" was, so he would know that if you love someone, you will trust the other person and believe that the other person will value their relationship as much as he does. Privilege as defined by the outside world is not necessarily correct. Although he has this privilege, it does not mean that he needs to pay attention to it or violate it. *The end of the Doctor When Diana originally planned to defect, she did not want the Doctor to die. The Doctor was killed by Foibs' subjective decision. In fact, I think the Doctor has anticipated his own death. A person like him must be able to deduce that the first thing Foibs does when he loses control is to kill him. That's why he finally accepted his fate of death "calmly", "clearly" and "helplessly". I can't quite describe the feeling. Foibs was so happy and excited when he discovered the doctor's goal. His movements to kill the doctor were skillful, quick and precise. It seemed like he had practiced it countless times, hundreds of times. He must have planned to kill the Doctor. And kill him quickly and accurately before he says anything. However, in the final narrative, the doctor died very lightly. I originally thought... Feibs had hatred for the Doctor. But here, this kind of hatred is not so obvious. At least, his hatred for the doctor seems completely incomparable to Ray's hatred for killing Helen. How does Foybus feel about killing the Doctor? I can't think clearly. However, this can probably be regarded as a kind of "patricide". Fobus personally ended the dominator who had controlled his life until now. In fact, for Febus, the Doctor is not even a "person"... He may be God, a father, a representative of power, and a conceptual framework. So he would say, "No one died." Feubs felt no sympathy for the Doctor that he had shown before. Perhaps at the moment of the doctor's death, he no longer meant anything to Fobus, so his reaction was as dull as killing an ant on the roadside, as light as a feather. Like an accident that really happened by the way. Foibs knew very well that what was more important at the moment was to take Diana away with him. He wouldn't even think to look at him twice. He will welcome the freedom that belongs to himself and Diana. *Eve and Ray All the Easter eggs in the final chapter are great. When I belatedly realized that "Emma" was the 66th in this timeline, I felt really happy at that moment. Michelle is still fine, and Feibs and Diana have become Ray and Eve again, facing their own freedom. This makes me feel that the intersection of another timeline and this world is very, very beautiful. It's so good. Thank you very much to the author for writing such a gentle and powerful epilogue. **About the extra The extra episode "Surgery" is also particularly good. At first, Feubs didn't understand why buying condoms made the store clerk despise Diana. I thought that perhaps from the store clerk's perspective, condoms might fail, and taking birth control pills was also burdensome to women's bodies, so she might have viewed Diana in a morally critical way with some self-righteous "concern." To a certain extent, the clerk may have felt that Diana's acceptance of the two's behavior under those circumstances was a sign of disrespect for her. Although Foibs didn't understand it at all at the time and had no physiological common sense, this did not prevent him from feeling angry for Diana after feeling her frustration, and actively wanted to defend Diana. This is the lovely thing about Foibs. In this extra episode, when Foibs realizes that pregnancy is risky and "unsafe" for women, his first reaction is panic. He was so frightened that he had to get himself sterilized rather than hurt Diana. Diana did not want to be sterilized before because she wanted to retain her own bodily autonomy. She could have the right to choose whether she wanted to have a baby, instead of letting others cut off the possibility of her. But Foibs's sterilization was different. His core concern was that he might hurt Diana. Moreover, he has no subjective desire to have a child of his own. Rather than having a child of his own, he hoped that there would be no possibility of him harming Diana. This is respect. Compared to the first time I bought condoms, I could clearly see his growth. Another thing worth noting is that Ray and Foibs have something in common - they both seem to have a poor sense of taste, or in other words, they cannot judge what is delicious or unpleasant. There was a small episode on the shore. Question No. 98: "How did you eat it without changing your expression?" ' Feubs's answer was: 'Be distracted and pay attention to other senses. This sentence makes me feel that the reason why Foibs's judgment of deliciousness and unpalatableness is disordered (?) May be due to his special training. But judging from Lei's reaction, he could no longer arouse any curiosity about it. Foibs is better than Ray in this regard, because when he hears Diana say it tastes bad, he will be curious about what tastes bad. What is delicious? Then I saw the extra "Tasting" XD (Ahhh, this is delicious to me too~XD) *About the character name I discovered that I am a person who is super slow with foreign names! After reading Chapter 23, I realized that Phoebus was Phoebus - the melody of Phoebus from the musical "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" suddenly sounded in my head - it was "the sun"! Then Diana is the "moon"... Ahhhh! When I was browsing, I saw that the researcher called Feibus "Apollo", but I didn't think of anything! Where did my brain go? ! Oh my God! I'm so slow! (Shocked!!) Such an obvious clue why I didn't think about it at all before (Holds head) When I watched "Come to Me" before, I reacted to the names Eve and Helen. I knew the meaning behind these two names, but I didn't think about it at all. It was really very slow (cradling my head again) Then I realized that in this case, all the names that appeared in this story should have been carefully designed by the author! The names of Doctor and Ada must have meaning too! So I checked it out and found: /(Doctor) Julius Helheim(?) Julius points to Caesar, the dictator, and Helheim is the "underworld" in Norse mythology. They all match my impression of a doctor (laughs) /Ada Marici (?) Ada means noble, but there is a British mathematician named Ada Lovelace (search "Ada" on Google and a direct link will appear!). She was also the first programmer in history (from Wikipedia). When I found this out, I almost wanted to scream! I really like this design! As for Marisi, I'm not sure if it's correct. I found out that Marici is the Bodhisattva of Mori, which also means sunshine. Her ability is to "hide" and "see through all hidden things" (from Wikipedia). I'm not sure if it's my over-interpretation, but the meanings of "hide" and "sunshine" are very consistent with my impression of her, and this surname is also very suitable for the male and female protagonist... Anyway, I praise my wife woo woo... PS. Others I find interesting are Daphne: being pursued by "Apollo", but hating Apollo hahaha XD *Random thoughts on fantasy and projection What I have been thinking about is that although this work has a male character as the protagonist, I think its essence is still a story of "serving women". Although Foybus is a male, he does have "privilege" in the story, but he has not truly internalized the values ​​under the patriarchal system. The most obvious example is that he will be confused about the meaning of "men should urinate standing up." On the other hand, in this story, he is actually always the object of oppression, control and shaping under the system of patriarchy and power. He and Diana are mirror images - both are products of the system, and both have experienced the process of being objectified, disciplined, and denied their subjectivity. And precisely because he could feel the pain of being oppressed, he began to see and understand that the oppression and harm he had caused to Diana in the past was wrong. I also felt that he actually possessed some "feminine" sensibility in some aspects. What he desires is to be "loved", not conquered; his attitude toward sex is not aggressive, and he will even put himself in the position of "pleasing women" and actively wants to "serve" Diana. The reason why I was attracted to this character was not only that I saw similarities with myself in him, but also because he fulfilled my fantasies and expectations for "healthy love": love will change people; men will learn to respect and understand women because of love; the two of them will heal each other and grow together. Foybus is not only my own shadow, but also a projection of the "ideal love" that I long to see, to be understood and respected. I think this may be why the novel makes people addicted XD Compared with the real world, this is a purer and more hopeful imaginary space. Even so, it can still bring power to us in reality from fantasy. I think this is the most powerful part of the novel. Postscript I can't believe it took me over two months to write! When I was reading the novel, I kept laughing at the endless twists and turns in Foibs's brain. In fact, when I wrote my thoughts, I realized that my brain was just as twists and turns. I really thought about it for a long time, wrote a lot, and deleted a lot, but at the end of the writing, I finally had the refreshing feeling of "I finally figured it out!" (?) I really admire the author. All the characters in these two stories are very deep and charming. In a trance, I felt that I unknowingly regarded them as real people. I obtained some kind of self-healing in the process of clearing up my feelings... I gained a deeper awareness and growth of myself, which I had never imagined before. I am really grateful that I came across this work, and I am very, very grateful to the author for creating such good characters and stories. Such a great work and such a great author, I really hope more people can read it! Woohoo, I really hope I can have a physical book collection... I am willing to buy several sets of QAQ I'm really looking forward to reading my wife's other works in the future. In order to write this article, I have been reluctant to peek at other works in the wife's column, but seeing that there are so many stories to read is really as happy as entering a granary~>/////< (PS. But before that, I may have to take a few days to rest... My mind has been almost occupied by this work recently, so I need to take a break first XD) (PS. Additional explanation... I don't write my thoughts on every work, or write such long thoughts OTZ) Finally, thank you to anyone who has seen this! (I would be very happy if anyone is willing to see this~) I hope everyone can be happy and find and have their own freedom. -END-

A love story that creates a world of countless tragedies. A perfect fairy tale played out in a living hell. Does Foybus love Diana? Twenty-one, eighteen, fifteen, thirteen, five. In the ever-changing age stages, the only thing that remains unchanged is the love for Diana, which gives everything that can be felt in different age groups, including the ignorant love of childhood, the youthful love of teenagers, and the love of knowing each other among young people. The external appearance changes accordingly. Thirteen-year-old Foibs is full of resistance to Diana. This is the last self-will he can retain. He has lived in an extremely harsh laboratory environment since he was a child. There are always several pairs of eyes wherever he sees or cannot see. They strictly measure his words and deeds and give him marks. He is used to judging whether any situation is a test first. Just like expensive scientific research products being manufactured, efficient and convenient tools being put into use, Foibs perfectly complied with the manufacturer's requirements in behavior, except for the mention of the prophecy about love that made him anxious and resistant. Love is a miracle that human beings can feel. The emotion that collides between two free hearts has now turned into the manipulation of the hand of God by researchers. Sentinel guides who are 100% matched are precisely designed to attract and love each other. This declaration is full of the most contemptuous trampling of human nature, declaring that your love does not belong to you, and your true feelings are not your real feelings. The restlessness, anxiety or joy you feel for love at the moment all comes from the intentional arrangement of the creator. The more real the perception, the more false it is, which is extremely far away from a living person and infinitely close to a perfect product. The invisible shackles are not only tied to the limbs and head, but are still greedily drilling deep into the heart. Every moment when love sprouts, they are reminded of the unnatural origin of doubt and the all-round insult and annihilation of free will. Living people can actually be encoded, not only their genes, but even their future emotions. Fuibs intuitively resisted this terrifying deprivation, but the method he chose was to constantly repel and sting Diana, kneading and torturing a tender heart. What's ridiculous is that researchers keep claiming to design and manipulate artificial true love that is 100% matching, but when childhood love manifests itself in the fury of betrayal, they actually fail to recognize any signs of this love! Five-year-old Foibs burst into unparalleled anger when he revealed his true feelings to the staff for Diana, a trivial matter that seemed insignificant to adults. The emotions were so deep that they almost burned his heart and ignited him. It also became an opportunity for him to awaken and become a sentinel. The researcher was at a loss to understand, and even regretted it. He felt that he could not arrange a more extreme and stimulating situation to force him to have stronger emotions in exchange for a higher value of mental power... Even though the record-breaking mental power number was right in front of him. How do adults who don't understand love design and create perfect works of love? Even if it is true as they say, this love was born from artificial intervention, and the extremely tight bond between two hearts is dangling in front of their eyes. For more than ten years, they have not been able to discern the texture and depth of love. Mortals who pride themselves on being smart and mastering technology dare to boast about creating miracles that they do not have or have long lost. Diana is a mysterious enigma. The story is told from the perspective of Feibs, watching Diana's external reaction and the emotions she feels during the connection, which are also disguises that remain on the surface. Foibs had many suspicions and misunderstandings about Diana. He felt that Diana was repeating what the researchers taught her, that Diana was repeating her betrayal to him when she was five years old. She felt that Diana was shaped, that her reality was all false, that her love was deliberately arranged, and that she foolishly accepted the so-called 100% match and love setting without any resistance. The more clearly he realized this, the more Feubs hated himself for being attracted to Diana. Diana, who looks gentle and slow on the outside, seems to have a slight sense of disobedience. She seems docile, but there is an extremely determined part in her heart. She conserves her own will in a tough way that is completely different from that of Foibs, but not far behind. Foibs muttered ten thousand dissatisfactions on the surface, but in fact he never thought of abandoning Diana and replacing her with another guide who was better, smarter and more interesting. An idea that has never occurred to me even in the slightest imagination. Diana has. For a long time, he maintained a docile and obedient attitude towards Foibs, followed the teachings of the teachers at the institute, and gradually withdrew his feelings when faced with the cold treatment of Foibs, actively saying that "I don't want to be his guide!" Even if it goes against his gentle and selfless character, even if he feels pain that he may hurt his companions, and even if all rational analysis points to continued cooperation, he is still hesitant and unable to give up this idea. He used his mental power to pierce the unprepared Fuibs' barrier, and started with almost rough and neat guidance. The contrast in the details was obvious. Her free will always exists, her struggle is silent and secret, and her emotions will not suddenly appear out of thin air, nor will they disappear suddenly, even if all education requires her to obey. Under the breathtakingly detailed control of the institute, Diana almost tenaciously retained the last freedom of human nature, the freedom to choose to love someone or not, just like Fobus himself. Foybus and Diana are, to a certain extent, like the Dark Lord having companion soul mates. A rational and cold killing machine who would never fall in love with anyone, a perfect humanoid weapon that lacks empathy, he always puts his own feelings before the feelings of others, and develops an antisocial personality where almost nothing can restrain him from following social rules. A heart made of flesh and blood grew inside the Turing machine, so he saw the boy who had no empathy feel empathy for the girl he loved, realized that she was bored just like him, and felt obligated to do something to relieve her. Seeing a point-earning machine that focuses on maximizing returns no matter what it does, it abandons calculations related to efficiency and makes actions that are unreasonable and inconsistent with nature, just to make an insignificant phone call. Foibs admits to two important points in his love for Diana. Meditation room. Diana's confession that she "didn't want to be his guide" made Foibs aware of the past prejudice against Diana. The project team would not destroy their work or add unnecessary obstacles. Diana, like him, had unquestionable free will. Combine. Fobus noticed that Diana did not love him, and suffered unprecedented pain. He understood that union and love are inseparable, and the torture of not being loved is far beyond his expectation. What he once rejected is now something he longs for but cannot get. Only through this bone-deep pain can we return to the starting point, pick up the lost precious things bit by bit, regain her trust, and win her generous love. After passing the point of union, I no longer paid much attention to the progress of Foybus and Diana's love. There was only one thought left in my mind. District 9, when will it be destroyed? High seas, when to bury. There is also a wider area of ​​​​the tower, when will it be overturned! The training to strengthen their strength never lacks torture-like torture. The sentry guides are treated like rare animals but also like some useful tools for surveillance and jurisdiction. They control their bodies and their minds. It is unbearable. Every day that Fuibs and Diana live in District 9 is the destruction and deprivation of freedom. After leaving the Ninth District, he was under the surveillance of the Tower District, still living in prisons decorated with small houses with beautiful landscapes. Looking at the virtual blue sky on the screen, from birth to death. One prison leads into the next. Those missions were also downright torture, killing defected S-class sentries, living a good life in anonymity for more than ten or twenty years, and not messing with anyone. I wish he could escape, she, they, everyone managed to escape. Helping the evildoer, completing a mission is to add a serious crime. A perfect resume is full of killed mission targets, and there are many innocent people. The ending was much more satisfactory than expected, like playing the True End in the game, provided that Ada failed to take away Diana and Ada survived. Foibs and Ada met by chance on a road without monitors, learned the truth about their creation, and also obtained key information for subsequent persuasion of Diana. If any one condition is missing, the story may have a different ending. Let's not discuss the if line given by the author in "Who is Coming to Me Now". If Foibs and Diana had not escaped, the follow-up may lead to a pseudo-HE where Foibs and Diana stayed in the tower area to spend a controlled life. It is more likely to lead to BE irreparably due to Foibs' uncontrollable self-destructive tendency. A free soul, if it does not defect, will only die.

It's so beautiful. I watched it for the second time and I was still very moved. For freedom and love, DaDa's writing and plot are very good, especially in terms of psychological description. It is delicate, fast and makes people feel the same. It is really a masterpiece. Both this moment and the failed work have given me a new perspective on Xiangshao. Thank you DaDa. I hope that DaDa will be full of inspiration and write more masterpieces. The three-dimensional life is healthy and smooth. I look forward to the completion of the Queen of Witches.

I still can't stop the car after rewatching it... It's so refreshing to see five in the morning from ten o'clock or eleven o'clock

Ah, the contrast between the other novels is particularly harsh. I'm so glad they can find their own peace here.

It's really amazing, especially seeing two people develop free will, Diana's transformation, taking the initiative to unsheath the sword, the psychological description is particularly good! ! I also saw the resistance, which was very meaningful, and the young couple was so cute😭😭[Orange Candy] was eaten [Orange Candy] was eaten

It would be great if all the people with this person's strong sales and distribution network could be killed.

Although it looks like breast hyperplasia, the author writes it really well. The ending is that both he and he are free, which is really great [crying]

I've finished reading it. It's dawn after reading the second half [Purple Heart][Bi Xin]