The Jellyfish and Her Whole Family Aren't Human, Ahhh!

Blurb: Fragmented plot ♪ Nonsensical humor ♪ A hodgepodge of melodramatic wuxia and more

Meng Xian has a secret. She's actually a purple-and-blue-and-pink jellyfish. She accidentally washed ashore, and while she was desperately trying to crawl home, a "good Samaritan" mistook her for someone trying to drown herself and took her home.

The family is incredibly wealthy, with more riches than they could ever spend. They eat delicacies every day, her parents dote on her, and her older brother looks after her.

She also has a whole group of loyal friends who join her in all kinds of crazy antics.

She's the happiest jellyfish in the world!

But a voice keeps urging Meng Xian: Enter showbiz!

A faint electrical current passed through Meng Xian's brain.

She's a supporting female character in a novel. Her parents never rescued her. Instead, an evil man took her home and sent her into showbiz. After she became a huge star, her agent abused her until she couldn't take it anymore and killed herself.

The heroine was her assistant. With Meng Xian's help, she gradually made her way into showbiz, and after Meng Xian died, her popularity soared and her career kept climbing.

Oh, what a terrifying world. How sly humans are.

Meng Xian had no intention of going. She refused to be a stepping stone for the heroine.

Little by little, Meng Xian realized something was a bit off.

Her parents' bed had USB ports and data cables.

Her brother sometimes went berserk. His hands would rotate 180 degrees, his head would make a cracking sound, and then he'd fold in half and topple over.

Meng Xian was terrified.

Her parents were actually robots made to look like humans.

That was only the beginning. Things got even more outrageous.

Meng Xian took a bite of the cake on the table.

The cake started crying and wailing, "Waaah, Mom, help me!"

It had only come to make a delivery, and it had nearly lost its life.

An unmanned delivery truck blocked the entrance to her home.

Meng Xian shouted, "Anyone there? Who's the jerk blocking my door?"

No one answered. She tried tugging at the door.

The truck said, "Quit pulling on me."

Meng Xian: ! This world is even scarier than I imagined.

Of course, the scariest one of all was her: an immortal jellyfish who used to be human.

A few lines from a little lunatic:

"The thing you and I have in common is breathing! It's the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world."

"Natural water heated to zero degrees, sprinkled with salt made from gold dust. Each tear on the ground is worth ninety thousand yuan. That's the water rich people drink."

"I have a friend. She's silly, has a strange train of thought, and seems like she has something wrong with her. She really does have something wrong with her. She's very, very, very rich. Most importantly, she's willing to share her money with me. With a friend like that, I have no regrets in this life."

"I have two bodyguards. One has a face like concrete and is very ugly. The other is slick-tongued, with sadness written in his eyes. They're both useless, because they're the ones who need protecting."

"I have a classmate who only knows that one plus one equals two, but I think she's the most learned person in the world."

"Humans are so much fun. Humans are so nice. Breathing is wonderful. The people around me, Meng Xian, are all unique treasures, worth more than countless tons of gold."

An unfeeling, ungrateful, mischievous jellyfish says, "I have three family members. None of them are human, but they look very human. They're spaceships that have flown into the universe, drifting through space without a home. That's all right. I'm a terrifying black hole. I'll swallow them up, chew them to bits, then spit them out. They'll be split into lots of pieces, so they won't be lonely."

Reader's guide: If you take this seriously, you won't be able to keep reading.

1. Wuxia, nonhumans, and all kinds of other nonsense. This story is ridiculous, wildly imaginative, and written on a whim. Read it however you like.

2. There is absolutely no science in this story, and it has nothing to do with the real world. It's all made up, and logic doesn't matter at all. So don't overthink it. Let's just enjoy the nonsense and chaos.

3. This tree has no idea what it's trying to write. What came out is this baffling story, which was supposed to be fun, but somehow I'm the joke. It's a bit of a mess and makes no sense, and its stats are as rotten as a tomato that's been sitting around for eight hundred years.

But that's okay. I'll give up on it when the rotten tomato turns into a lemon. If I do give up, please save my terrible stats. I must have been blinded by the dazzling yellow lemon with my beautiful eyes.

P.S. The jellyfish character design on the cover is by the famous artist Yin Lang.

Blurb written on September 26, 2023.

Theme: The jellyfish says: Stay strong!