I'm Not Aspiring to Become a Famous Detective

I work for a transnational criminal organization. My main job every day is gathering intelligence.

Yes, that organization you’re thinking of.

Don’t worry, I don’t have a codename because I’m not capable enough. I’m not an experimental subject, either, just a secondhand information broker who stumbled into the business. By the way, I had a normal childhood and no post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m pretty ordinary, not a chaos-loving thrill-seeker, nor some little ray of sunshine trapped in darkness with a heart turned toward the light.

In this day and age, crime is the fastest way to make money.

Unfortunately, for some reason, one day during a handoff I suddenly realized there were a lot of high-ranking members with codenames inside the organization. Eighty percent of them worked under Gin, while the other twenty percent had studied under my immediate superior, whom I’ve never met: that actress.

Aside from that, the most popular people in the organization were Bourbon, Scotch, and Rye. It seemed like a lot of high-ranking members were worried they’d die. Later, people rushed to make fake death certificates for them, but the paperwork was pretty sloppy. Turns out they were all undercover agents.

How strange. Were they really in such bad shape mentally? Maybe the high-ranking members had discovered they were undercover and were torturing them during interrogations?

The senior members all seem to love scaring kids. Though I only found out later that they weren’t actually kids, isn’t it a bit much for everyone to whisper “Kudo Shinichi” in their ears?

As a member of the organization without a codename, an information broker, I started running into cases whenever I went out after this bunch of absurd senior members showed up. To deal with all this trouble, I had to get clues through less-than-official channels.

Come on, I’m in a criminal organization. Putting on a villainous face in front of suspects is a piece of cake!

But... what do you mean, “the greatest detective of the Heisei era”? Does the organization really need to send me to some American detective competition? Those detectives are the real deal! They’ll definitely figure out I’m a criminal, won’t they?! They absolutely will!

Thesis: How I Was Forced to Become a Detective