Transported to Ancient Times, Bro, Come Get Me!

Ruan Bai is a good-for-nothing sports student. He understands nothing in science classes and cannot memorize anything in the humanities. As for looks, he has a pretty face. As for brains... he also has a pretty face.

Then one day, he transmigrates into a treacherous imperial court and inherits the title of a genius remonstrating official. The original owner was a brilliant writer who could revive the dead with his words. He placed third in the palace exams at seventeen and entered the Remonstrance Court at twenty. He was a favorite of the late emperor, and rumor had it he had the makings of a future chancellor with power over all under heaven. He was always threatening to die to prove his convictions, and he was also a sickly weakling who would cough up blood whenever he got worked up.

Ruan Bai, who has just infuriated the new emperor: OvO?

Argue circles around the scholars? Revive the dead with my words? Me?

Wait... what does “revive the dead with my words” even mean?!

Just as the assembled ministers think that the arrogant, high-minded, hot-tempered Ruan Bai is about to smash his head against a pillar and die, the man who had been gasping for breath moments ago drops to his knees with a thump and shouts in a booming voice:

“Your Majesty is absolutely right!”

The new emperor's expression twists. Before he can issue an order, the officials fill the court in a panic, dropping to their knees. “Calm yourself, Your Majesty! Since ancient times, remonstrating officials must not be beaten to death in court or punished indiscriminately! The people will call you a tyrant, Your Majesty!!”

And so, on his very first day at court, Ruan Bai is thrown in prison for entering the Hall of Heavenly Favor with his left foot first.

Ruan Bai, who can't understand a word of what everyone's babbling about: QAQ

Somebody save me, save me, save me!

-

People notice that the upright remonstrating official, who used to pant after every few steps and criticize everything he disliked, has suddenly changed. He no longer acts superior because of his talent, nor does he seem to be on death's doorstep. His complexion is rosy, as if he has taken some miraculous tonic.

The young official looks striking in red. He slings an arm over the shoulder of a colleague he once called a “pretentious poseur” and opens his mouth to praise him: “Brother, what a fine literary style!”

He sees the vice minister he once impeached for “seeking fame and making a show of himself” after the man inscribed a poem at a pleasure house. His eyes widen as he praises him: “Brother, what beautiful calligraphy!”

The imperial relative he called “a pretentious fraud,” the royal kinsman he called “a pedantic old scholar”...

And then there's the cold-faced prince whom he once declared in public must be “rooted out to prevent future trouble.” With an easy flourish, the prince uses nothing but a string of Buddhist prayer beads to beat several hooligans black and blue. Ruan Bai's eyes light up:

“Holy crap! Brother Gu is amazing!”

“Teach me, teach me, teach me! I really want to learn QAQ!”

Xiao Rong, the cold-faced prince, keeps his expression unchanged and sweeps past with a flick of his sleeve, not sparing him a glance.

Ruan Bai clenches his fists. What a show-off!

He wants to learn even more now, OvO!

But the very next day, Ruan Bai is thrown in prison yet again for behaving improperly before the throne.

Ruan Bai: TAT

Somebody bail me out, bail me out, bail me out!!

-

Rumors spread through the palace that Xiao Rong, the carefree prince who had never concerned himself with politics or factional struggles, has suddenly changed. He has begun secretly training advisers at his residence, though no one knows what great scheme he is plotting.

The advisers are all talking at once, arguing over strategies, when a shout from outside the residence interrupts them: “Lord Ruan has been bailed out!”

Ruan Bai strolls past the wall with his arm around the Ministry of Rites vice minister's back, laughing. “Brother, I'm forever in your debt! You're practically my parents reborn! You're my godfather, ahhhhh!”

Xiao Rong, the man who wants nothing to do with the world, fingers the prayer beads in his hand and lowers his gloomy eyes.

Bailing Ruan Bai out... can make you his father?

-

Xiao Rong wears white, his refined bearing setting him apart from the world. His face is cool and abstinent. Ever since the new emperor ascended the throne, he has kept to himself. People say he is protecting himself by staying out of the way. After all, his elder brother might kill his younger brother once he takes the throne, and nobody dares get too close to him.

No one knows that the courtyard where red plum blossoms flourish has had its snow trampled to pieces by a red-clad youth who loves climbing over the wall.

Ruan Bai has stolen some wine and makes his way into the man's heated room as if he knows it by heart. “I knew you wouldn't be asleep yet either! Hehe!”

Day and night, he offers pep talks to this “poor little thing,” isolated by the imperial harem and bullied at court. When he gets drunk, he gazes at him with watery eyes and wipes away his tears. “It's okay, brother! You just had a bad family situation growing up! From now on, I'll look out for you!”

But as he keeps looking out for him... how did his poor little brother end up usurping the throne and becoming emperor?!

Ruan Bai will never be thrown in prison again. His legs tremble so badly he can't even get out of bed. Holding his aching waist and sore butt, he grimaces. “Wait, wait, brother, what are you doing?”

Xiao Rong's broad frame looms over him. Beneath the loose collar of the man's undergarment, patches of pale skin show, like the red plum blossoms in the snow outside.

He has yearned for this day and night, until at last he gave in to the ruthless ambition he had once despised, all to rescue the person he wanted from prison.

Xiao Rong is no longer as composed as he used to be. A sickly red glints in his gloomy eyes. “Fuck me...”

“...Could you call me godfather again?”

Ruan Bai: ???

# I thought you were my brother, but you want to be my daddy?

# Wait, what?! How did I become the demon empress who brings ruin to the country?

A naturally airheaded guy with low intelligence x a scheming, gloomy king who reads too much into things

Both are each other's only one | Straight, silly beauty x a deranged, patriarchal daddy

A dramatic difference in size | Brains of a goldfish x grumpy guy | Eccentric thought processes x genuinely unhinged

Theme: Somebody save me, save me, save me!