After Six Years on the Run with a Baby, I Became a Long-Distance Running Champion

[The next-door follow-up, *Rich Family Stepdad, Silly Parenting*, is open for business! Come on over, ladies, and let's pick up where we left off~] [This is a lighthearted, silly story, and it's finished, so feel free to dive in~] After Qiao Xia dies unexpectedly, he transmigrates into the protagonist shou of a melodramatic runaway-with-a-baby novel. He is supposed to go through a series of "he runs, he chases, neither can escape" adventures with the protagonist gong, then somehow get a happy ending. Qiao Xia: (calmly) Why was I the one who transmigrated? System: Because we detected that the Host is extremely familiar with and skilled at the business of "running away with a baby." Qiao Xia: I was good at that because I like playing soccer, damn it!!! Qiao Xia had refused at first, but after one thing led to another, he still ended up in bed with the protagonist gong, Yan Yunxi. Fortunately, Yan Yunxi was handsome, with sharp features and the cool, chaste air of an iceberg. His imposing demeanor made him seem untouchable, which only made Qiao Xia want to climb him even more. Qiao Xia: OK, I'll do it. Come on. After countless nights of passion, the iceberg melted. Qiao Xia got pregnant and, before the angsty romance could begin, took off running. As it turned out, he really was good at running away with a baby. His baby became a little one who grew up and taught himself programming, stock trading, and hacking, becoming a famous genius kid far and wide. A real Teletubby, I mean, a genius baby. For six years, Qiao Xia let loose and lived life to the fullest, having a wonderful time. The "neither can escape" plot hadn't even started. Yan Yunxi simply could not catch him. Six years later, with the System's deadline fast approaching, Qiao Xia reluctantly returned home. Yan Yunxi looked at the adorable child, as cold and lovely as snow, and gritted his teeth. "Qiao Xia, you're something else. You're ruthless. You really can do it." According to the original novel, this was where twenty chapters of melodramatic misunderstandings should begin, but... Qiao Xia: "Yours." Yan Yunxi: ? Qiao Xia: "I gave birth to him." Yan Yunxi: ????? Qiao Xia: "Let's skip the pleasantries and fast-forward to the 'neither can escape' part." With that, he scooped up the kid and bolted. Yan Yunxi tried to chase him. He ran and ran with all his might, but he... couldn't catch up. He just couldn't catch him!!! Not even close!!! How could his wife run so fast? He decided to start with his son. Yan Yunxi coaxed him gently. "Baby, help me catch your dad and I'll buy you an Ultraman, okay?" His son glanced at him. "Call me President Qiao." * A silly, outgoing shou with a quick wit; an icy, chaste gong who thaws for love. * The shou runs incredibly fast, the kind of fast that defies explanation. But he won't be competing in the Olympics or anything. ( ) * Thank you, everyone! [Please add my upcoming story, *Rich Family Stepdad, Silly Parenting*, to your favorites!] Cheng Leyan has always lived life on his own terms and loved money above all else. He'd work five jobs if that's what it took to make a buck. Then he dies unexpectedly and transmigrates into a novel as a greedy, wicked cannon-fodder stepdad. The original character married into a wealthy family to bring good luck, according to their astrological charts. But he was insatiably greedy and behaved terribly: he beat up the recuperating residents of the Nanshan nursing home and tormented his husband, who was in a vegetative state; he kicked and bullied the children at the Beihai kindergarten and abused his stepson. That stepson later became the story's great villain, while the original character met a grisly end. Cheng Leyan: ...Yikes. Maybe I should get a divorce and run. Instead, his husband's mother smacked a check down in front of him. "Your allowance for this month is one million. What did you just say? Divorce?" Cheng Leyan grabbed the check, looked it over again and again, then looked up with exuberant enthusiasm. "Mom! You're my real mom! Come, sit right here. Let me bow to you first." At two in the morning, Rong's mother sat bolt upright. Wait, is there something wrong with him? The future great villain is currently just a sweet, soft little kid, with big eyes and long eyelashes, and he's so, so, so cute. Cheng Leyan couldn't control his wicked hands and pounced on him. The little one trembled, thinking he was about to get beaten again. Instead, his stepdad showered him with kisses and cuddles, lifted him high, then started rocking him around. As he rocked him, he chanted in a sing-song voice, "Brrm, brrm, the rocking car is starting! Daddy's dad is Grandpa, Daddy's mom is Grandma~" At two in the morning, the little one sat bolt upright. Wait, is he sick or something? * Rong Wang has been in a vegetative state for a year since a car accident, never regaining consciousness. But one day, his hazy spirit suddenly heard a lively voice: "Yoo-hoo! A thunderous crash in the sky, and your loyal servant makes a dazzling entrance! Husband, I'll protect your health!" "And now, today's news. First story: A man in Qingdao was mistaken for a giant fish while scuba diving and was reeled ashore. After he was freed, he went diving somewhere else and got reeled in again. Hahaha, hahahaha!" Rong Wang: … What kind of nonsense is this? And who are you calling your husband? Rong Wang gradually began to hear more. Every day, he listened as his "wife" read him silly news, recited inspirational jokes, and tapped an electronic wooden fish to rack up cyber merit points, helping him meet the Mechanical Buddha sooner and reach online paradise. Rong Wang: You're so thoughtful, darling. For some reason, his little wife was always worried their son would become a hopeless romantic and a criminal, and kept lecturing him: "Sweetie, what's the point of love? It's so tacky. Talk about money instead!" "Tell me, what is love? First, cash. Second, red envelopes." "Sweetie, look at your biological dad. Handsome, right? With money, I could call ten male models just like him with one phone call!" Rong Wang: ...Ten. Ten, you say. Male models, huh. I'm. Waking. Up. Right. Now. [Please add my upcoming story, *After the Top-Tier Boy Band Starts Sharing Thoughts*, to your favorites!] Abandon is a scandal-plagued boy band with a notorious reputation. It has five members, four of whom are constantly dominating the trending searches. The eldest is a hopeless romantic, deeply in love with a certain movie star. He entered the entertainment industry to pursue him and spends his days hovering around him like a devoted puppy. The second has yin-yang eyes and a weak birth chart. He's been seeing ghosts since childhood and often gets so scared he freaks out on the spot. The third is a brother-obsessed doormat: an ill-treated adopted son of a wealthy family who devotes himself to his adoptive parents, lets them suck him dry, and gets nothing in return. The fourth is a resentful rich husband, a pushover who is weak and easily bullied. Even with his heart turned to ashes, all he can do is sulk while washing underwear. These four account for nearly all of Abandon's popularity, and their gossip could keep a whole bunch of marketing accounts in business. The fifth is just an extra, a background character, invisible and utterly forgettable. They each did their own thing and barely knew one another. Then one day, something strange happened: They could hear one another's thoughts. It happened during a variety show. They broke records playing Pictionary, knew everything about each other during a rapid-fire Q&A, and got every answer right in a telephone game. Their teamwork was incredible. They promptly hit the trending topic #Abandon's Team Spirit#. The solo fans who'd been fighting tooth and nail: !?!?!?! What the heck? Are you telling me Abandon has team spirit!? After they started sharing thoughts, none of them had any secrets from the others. But the four top-tier stars soon realized that although they could hear the fifth member's thoughts, he couldn't hear theirs at all and knew nothing about the thought-sharing. And the quiet, reserved, unremarkable fifth member's thoughts were... Enough to make you feel like someone was cutting your butt with a tiny knife. What an eye-opener. When the movie star once again gave the eldest the "neither initiating nor refusing, and taking no responsibility" treatment... Little Five looked quiet and harmless on the outside. Inside: [Fuck, he's already gotten everything, and this asshole still dares to pretend he's innocent? I'll break his legs.] The next day, the movie star ended up in the hospital with a broken leg. The other members of Abandon: ? When the second member ran into a ghost again and screamed and crawled around on the floor... Little Five looked meek and well-behaved on the outside. Inside: [The Ghost King has his eye on Second, and he dares scare him right in front of me? What a gutsy bastard. I'll wipe out his whole lair.] The next day, a horde of demons and monsters knelt in front of the second member's door, begging for forgiveness. The other members of Abandon: ????? When the third and fourth members got bullied again... Little Five looked innocent and confused on the outside. Inside: [What kind of scumbags think they can bully my people now!? Fine, I'll kill them all.] The other members of Abandon: ???????? Little Five, I mean, Brother Five, please calm down! Calm down!!! The other four rushed over to Little Five and tried to reason with him: "Brother Five, you might not know this, but times have changed. We don't usually go around killing people these days." "Right, Brother Five. Anyone who's killed people probably knows that killing them is easy, but burying the bodies is hard." "Exactly, Brother Five, don't be mad. Repeat after me: The world is so beautiful, but I'm so irritable. That's not good, not good." Little Five's cowlick wobbled as he stared at them, looking adorably blank. "Huh?" Their manager walked past. "They're crazy! They're all crazy!!!" Later on... Abandon's performances set the stage ablaze, their single became a massive hit, and they went from scandal-plagued to a bona fide top-tier boy band. Even more moving for their fans, the eldest broke off his unrequited love and stopped acting like a lovesick puppy, the second escaped his ghostly troubles and became full of life, the third successfully left home and felt wonderfully free, and even the fourth finally stood up for himself, left his husband, and sent his ex flying away with the wind. It was a cause for celebration across the land! Manager: (wiping away tears) "A little crazy is good. A little crazy is good!" [Bonus Scene] At a celebration party, Little Five met Shen Guanchao, the company's big boss. He looked completely innocent as he thought: [Not bad-looking. I'll snatch him up tomorrow and make him my cultivation furnace.] But in the next second, his bandmates crowded around and started chattering at the big boss: "Mr. Shen, meet our Brother Five. Don't you dare fail to appreciate him." "Brother Five is single this year, Mr. Shen. You should seize your chance." "I'll be blunt, Mr. Shen. You wouldn't want to reject the love of a heavenly god, would you?" Little Five was utterly dumbfounded and felt like his whole world was cracking apart. [Fuck... I... I damn well... No... I...] But Boss Shen remained perfectly calm. He downed his champagne, set the glass down steadily, looked at Little Five, and curled his lips into a smile. "I'll do it. Shall we go?" Theme: Love requires honesty and sincerity.