Daring to Look Up

My new novel, The Runaway Hopeless Romantic, is now available. My next upcoming novel, Tidal Lock, features a pure-hearted, flirty psychologist who seems warm but is cold inside, paired with a bold perfumer with psychological troubles. Please add it to your collection! [25-year-old comic artist, gentle big-sister-type seme X 19-year-old, sweet and sexy puppy-like band vocalist uke] [Older seme] [Healing, sweet romance] [Happy ending] Not long after returning to Nanguang, Pei Muxi ran into Xia Tang, the younger girl who had lived next door to her in high school. The soft, tiny child in her memories had grown into a dazzling, sexy young woman, who was tipsily calling her “big sister.” Pei Muxi thought Xia Tang was still the kid who loved ordering two desserts, so she planned to be nothing more than the big sister who bought her candy. But Xia Tang kept asking her all sorts of passionate questions: She looked up at her with reddened eyes. “What should I do if I want to see you, big sister?” Those sincere, clear eyes gazed only at her. She leaned close like a soft little cat lapping at water. “Big sister, is kissing really addictive?” After drinking, her hazy eyes stared straight at the flowers without looking at Pei Muxi even once. “Big sister, should I confess to the person I like?” Pei Muxi couldn’t handle questions like these. But when she heard Xia Tang had fallen for someone, a “bad woman who only likes sexy camisoles,” Pei Muxi knitted her brows. Still, hearing the girl’s earnest, passionate feelings, she could only ask: “Could you like someone else instead?” Xia Tang, however, replied solemnly, “I can’t. I’ll never be able to change who I love.” A long time ago, Pei Muxi gave an interview to a comics magazine. When the editor asked what her ideal type was, she casually took the magazine from the editor, opened it to a page, and pointed at something. It wasn’t clear whether she’d pointed at a person or a ghost. Then, one day much later, Xia Tang flipped through a magazine with a perfectly serious expression, the tips of her ears bright red. But now her question was: “Big sister, could you kiss me?” Pei Muxi glanced at the sexy camisole hanging loosely over Xia Tang’s pale shoulder, thought of the wardrobe full of all kinds of camisoles, and helplessly stressed once again: “Xia Tang, I really don’t like sexy camisoles.” Only in the end did Pei Muxi realize that children were the most sincere of all: Ten-year-old Xia Tang saved her pocket money to buy her watermelon. Eleven-year-old Xia Tang clumsily made her “first snow.” Thirteen-year-old Xia Tang took the bus all the way to her university just to sneak a look at her… And nineteen-year-old Xia Tang really, truly, madly loved her. [There is no romantic relationship or love story before adulthood. The romance begins only after Xia Tang turns nineteen.] Reader’s guide: 1. The title and blurb may change before the story begins. 2. The complete blurb was written on June 10, 2022, and has been screenshotted. 3. The story is mainly told from Pei Muxi’s perspective, but more of the flashbacks will be from Xia Tang’s perspective. 4. The seme doesn’t always take the lead; the number of times the uke takes charge is undecided. 5. Please don’t project yourself onto the characters. To keep the reading environment pleasant, comments mentioning unrelated people will be deleted. [Blurb for Tidal Lock] [1] Qi Suian is a psychologist who loves growing flowers. She has a habit of giving new patients a bouquet of snowdrops, a symbol of courage and moving forward. Even when a patient has a panic attack and scratches her ear with their nails, she gently holds them and whispers soothingly. As one of her colleagues puts it, “Even a rabid dog would melt into a puddle under her tenderness.” Tong Xianchu isn’t a rabid dog, but a mad snake. She keeps a pet snake named after herself, and when she has nothing better to do, she holds a funeral for herself. When someone asks why, she lies in a black coffin lined with red velvet, her hands peacefully crossed over her chest, and says, her eyelids half lowered, “I’m looking for someone.” [2] One enchanting, rainy night, Qi Suian tears off the bandage around her ear, leans against a wall, and lights a cigarette. There she meets a woman in a black trench coat. She offers the woman her umbrella. The woman doesn’t take it. She only looks at the cigarette packet Qi Suian tossed into the trash. Her black hair is soaked, and she fixes her gaze on Qi Suian like a vine wrapping around a fish. Qi Suian presses the umbrella into her hand, her smile perfectly poised. “You don’t have to return it.” The second time they meet, the woman is still wearing the same trench coat, its belt pulled tight. She comes to Qi Suian’s office and props the same black, long-handled umbrella against the door handle. Before Qi Suian can react, the woman pushes her down into a chair. Looking down at her, she unties her belt in front of her and straddles her lap. She takes Qi Suian’s fingers in her hand and presses her soft lips to the wound on her ear, her voice irresistibly seductive. “I’ve found you, Dr. Qi.” [3] Qi Suian prided herself on having met all kinds of people, but she could never see through Tong Xianchu: Tong Xianchu behaved abominably. She often wore those black leather boots that reached her knees, openly using the toe to hook Qi Suian’s ankle. She would blow smoke in Qi Suian’s face, then cup her chin and kiss her. She smiled as she said she hated that Qi Suian smiled at everyone. She was always telling half-truths. She danced the tango with Qi Suian, laughing as she said love was a foolish act of violence. Even with a fever and sweat-soaked black hair falling loose, she stubbornly pressed her finger to Qi Suian’s heart and made an absurd demand: “You have to say you love me.” Qi Suian struggled through this entanglement thousands upon thousands of times. But in the end, she willingly lay down in the black coffin lined with red velvet. Holding Tong Xianchu, her back curled in on itself, she asked, “Why were you looking for me back then?” Tong Xianchu covered her eyes and buried her face against her neck, drawing in a deep breath. “Some people only have to look at each other once to know they’re the same kind.” Theme: Nothing is impossible for those who persevere