I Really Am a True Criminal

Cover art by the Bishui cover-art forum. Check out my new novel, ‘Bouncing Between the Red and Black Factions.’ One day, a new, unknown app appeared on the phone of Orikasa Hiroyoshi, a true-believer member of the liquor company. He soon learned that his world was part of a manga. After seeing how the manga ended, Orikasa Hiroyoshi fell into thought. As an organization member, his own ending didn’t look very promising. So he tried to rewrite it. But why did everything seem to be going further and further off track? He crouched in front of a famous bespectacled grade-schooler who hadn’t grown an inch in over twenty years, calling out the boy’s real name in an attempt to scare him. “Kudo...” The boy paused. “Sensei, don’t call me by my real name in public. If suspicious people find out, I could be in danger.” Orikasa Hiroyoshi, who was very much a suspicious person: ... He stood in front of the demolition squad’s beloved star and flatly confessed, “I’m not a good person.” The sunglasses-wearing police officer ruffled his hair, while a young man with medium-length hair handed him a carton of milk. Orikasa Hiroyoshi, who really wasn’t a good person: ... He found the undercover agent. “Scotch, I’m...” The cat-eyed young man smiled. “Would a sandwich be okay for breakfast?” Orikasa Hiroyoshi: ...I’m an organization member. Is it really appropriate for you, a Public Security mole, to be this nice to me? Finally, he opened the phone app. Surely the audience with an omniscient view wouldn’t get it wrong? But the comments said: [Why is Orikasa being made to choose between the three again? He’s definitely on the good guys’ side, right?] [He saved the police academy squad! He’s absolutely one of the good guys.] Orikasa Hiroyoshi fell into thought... I may have watered it down a tiny bit and gone bad, but I really am a member of the liquor company. I’m a crooked branch with black roots, born and raised in the liquor company. Why won’t any of you believe me? Content warnings: 1. The protagonist is a true-believer member of the liquor company, though he gets watered down and goes bad later. 2. Beginner-level writing and shaky logic. New novel synopsis: Xia Fan was confident. He knew the original story by heart and was ready to play a background character in the Detective Conan world. If he landed on the good guys’ side, he’d stick close to the Silver Bullet. If he was on the bad guys’ side, he’d be the boss’s driver. If he was a mix of good and bad, he’d go find that blond, dark-skinned waiter. If he was a mix of bad and good, he’d take the Vermouth route. In short, he’d lie flat until the disastrous Year One arrived. But then... His secret identities seemed endless. The twin brother of his good-guy identity was a police academy student who got slapped with a twenty-thousand-word apology on his first day. His report card looked like a challenge to the school, and he was so frail that running two extra laps might kill him. Xia Fan: [Can I drop out?] System: [Sorry, sweetie, you can’t~] The twin brother of his bad-guy identity was an organization member with a code name. He took on a mission to train a rookie, only to realize at first glance that the rookie was his unlucky little brother’s unlucky classmate. The two undercover agents exchanged a look: [A classmate? Not sure. This is weird. Let’s take another look.] His good-and-bad secret identity was a glamorous woman with big waves. In public, she was a notorious lunatic in the organization. Anyone who worked with her picked up a love of gossip just to stay alive. In private, she also had a troublesome Public Security boss who never listened, never cared, and left her to fend for herself. Xia Fan: [Forget it. I quit.] The worst one was a kitten-like secret identity who could do nothing but act cute and clingy, while constantly having to worry about losing the little bell around his neck. Xia Fan: This is nothing like what I imagined! Reader warning: The protagonist may have to sacrifice some secret identities. Theme: Even when surrounded by darkness, keep your heart turned toward the light.