There Has to Be Something Wrong with This Dating Game

☆Countdown to completion: 90%! ★The story is in its middle-to-late stages, and I've hit a writing slump, so updates may be irregular. If there's no update by 10 p.m., don't wait up, orz. ★★The author is a compulsive reviser. The actual story differs considerably from pirated versions, and I take no responsibility for pirated copies or their readers. Upcoming crossover novel: “Geto, Your Wife Turned into a Magical Girl and Flew Away!” You can find it by visiting my author page. Welcome, player, to the world of the game Love and Miracles. Please choose your target to pursue: Natsukawa Yuki had to admit she was a little unlucky. Being trapped in some bizarre dating game with no way out was bad enough, but every target she chose was more troublesome than the last. 【A. The future tenth-generation boss of the Vongola family, currently a timid, useless loser who can't do anything right.】 Natsukawa Yuki: He's so softhearted. He looks like an E-rank difficulty NPC, perfect for practicing on. I'll pick him! The next second: Her target burst into flames, ran around naked, and confessed to his first love. 【Ding! Target character has confessed to someone else. Player's pursuit has failed.】 Natsukawa Yuki: “…” 【B. Yokohama's famous bandage-wasting device, as dark-hearted as his hair is dark, and the eternally sizzling man of the scriptwriting squad.】 Natsukawa Yuki: He doesn't seem that hard to approach. Trust me, I'll have this wrapped up in three days! Three days later. Natsukawa Yuki, feeling that their relationship was going well and ready to confess: “I like you!” Some bandage-wearing menace: “Heh.” 【Ding! Target character's affection has decreased by 100. Current affection: -150. Player's pursuit has failed.】 Natsukawa Yuki: “…” 【C. One of the two strongest at Tokyo Jujutsu High, the future leader of the Time Vessel Association, a cursed-spirit manipulator who insists on his own brand of justice and is a little crazy.】 Natsukawa Yuki: He's a high school boy. I know the type. No challenge at all. Leave it to me! Later... There was no later. This target dropped out of school to go exterminate monkeys. Before leaving, he even asked Natsukawa Yuki if she wanted to join him in creating a world without monkeys. Natsukawa Yuki: ...Thanks, but absolutely not. 【D. A dark-skinned, nationally obsessed fake liquor, equally at home in the boardroom and the kitchen, a hot guy who's lost count of how many jobs he has.】 “Phew...” Natsukawa Yuki lit a smoking lollipop. Her eyes held forty percent world-weariness, thirty percent confusion, and thirty percent keen interest. “Heh, men.” She smirked. “Let's see when you manage to make me fail to win you over.” The blond fake liquor: ... - The current list of targets includes: The guys from the clam family. The police academy crew from that scientifically impossible world. The bandage freak and the hat freak. The two strongest partners. Those guys who play scientifically impossible tennis. Tentative list. Reader's guide: 1. This is a slow-burn pursuit story, a nonsensical, silly comedy. 2. The characters will probably be out of character. Everything serves the comedy, so don't overthink the logic. 3. The heroine is naturally flirtatious, a bit scatterbrained, and good at being direct. If she can solve something by being blunt, she'll never beat around the bush. 4. And finally! Finally, I get to write multiple endings! The main story will officially have an open ending, and every male lead will get his own ending in the extras, ww. 5. Tentative. - “Geto, Your Wife Turned into a Magical Girl and Flew Away!” Blurb: Your name is Tanioka Reina, and you're an utterly ordinary second-year high school student. Of course, you might not be quite so ordinary. Because your real identity is actually... The legendary protector of the world, who fights evil and spreads love and hope throughout the world... A magical girl! ...Okay, you know that sounds like something a girl with an overactive imagination would make up during her chuunibyou phase. But just as there are many mysteries in the world that humanity has yet to solve, magical girls are real, too. In the utterly ordinary year you turned five and were attending kindergarten, you got a magical girl's wand from some mysterious place. Then you spent the next eleven years living an utterly ordinary life as a magical girl. And finally, utterly ordinarily... You fell in love. Your love is a kindhearted, understanding boy at Jujutsu High, with the surname Geto. In your eyes, he's perceptive and pure, untouched by the dust of the mundane world, practically like a fairy! Geto can't see the ugly monsters you fight every day, and he doesn't know that this world has a dangerous side ordinary people can't touch. He's a perfectly ordinary person raised in a perfectly ordinary society, with no way to protect himself if he encounters a monster: a helpless, vulnerable person who needs protecting! But that's okay. You made up your mind. As a magical girl who protects love and peace, you'll protect Geto, and the world that Geto is a part of! - Geto Suguru fell in love one spring, at the start of a new school year. His girlfriend was an adorable girl from a private high school next door in Tokyo. As they enjoyed the sweetness of new love, Geto Suguru also found himself dealing with some sweet problems he didn't quite know how to describe. Namely... His sweet, helpless, and adorable girlfriend seemed a little too protective of him. She made a point of reminding him not to go out at night, and whenever he got hurt, she seemed even more upset than if she were the one who'd been injured. Now it had reached the point where she wanted him to message her every hour to let her know he was safe. As one of the strongest at Jujutsu High, he's generally the one who puts others in danger. Danger rarely comes looking for him. Geto Suguru enjoyed his girlfriend's concern, but couldn't help feeling a little confused. ...What exactly did his girlfriend think he was like? -- Everything seemed to be following a fate that had already been laid out. On a summer afternoon filled with the loud chorus of cicadas, Geto Suguru suppressed the irritation brought on by the heat and decided he wanted to see his girlfriend one last time to say goodbye, then set out on his path to darkness. But by chance, he saw that his delicate girlfriend, who even cried when she heard a sad story, had fallen to darkness before he did! Without warning, she made a chuunibyou-like declaration of world destruction: “This world has been rotting from the roots up. There's no saving it anymore.” Geto Suguru watched with his own eyes as his girlfriend turned, leaped from the balcony, mounted a magic broom, transformed into a magical girl, and flew away! Geto Suguru, frozen in place and still unable to process what had happened: “...?” Geto Suguru: “???” Also known as: “Take the Madman's Path and Leave the Madman Nowhere to Go” “Geto, Your Wife Has Gone Dark” “On the Compatibility of Jujutsu Sorcerers and Magical Girls” (lol) Theme: It's better to rely on yourself than on others