There Has to Be Something Wrong with This Dating Game

☆ 90% to the finale!

★ The story is in its middle-to-late stages, and I’ve hit a writing slump, so updates may be irregular. If there’s no update by 10 p.m., don’t wait up, orz.

★★ The author is a compulsive editor. The plot in the main text differs considerably from pirated versions, and I take no responsibility for any pirated copies or their readers.

A Katekyo Hitman Reborn! story is also in the works: “The Vongola Love Journal.” Open my author page to find it.

Welcome, players, to the world of the game Love and Miracles. Please choose a target to pursue:

Xia Chuanxing had to admit she was a little unlucky.

Being trapped in some bizarre dating game with no way out was bad enough. The targets she chose were all more difficult to deal with than the last.

[A. The future tenth boss of the Vongola, currently a timid, useless failure who can’t do anything right.]

Xia Chuanxing: He’s so softhearted. He looks like an E-rank practice NPC. I’ll pick him!

The next second:

Her target ran off with flames on his head and his clothes off to confess to his first love.

[Ding! The target has confessed to someone else. Player pursuit failed.]

Xia Chuanxing: “…”

[B. Yokohama’s famous bandage-wasting contraption, a dark-hearted man whose black heart rivals his hair, and a dangerous hottie forever scripting the plot.]

Xia Chuanxing: He doesn’t seem that hard to approach. Trust me, I’ll win him over in three days!

Three days later.

Xia Chuanxing, feeling they were close enough for a confession: “I like you!”

The bandage-wearing man: “Heh.”

[Ding! Target’s affection has dropped by 100. Current affection: -150. Player pursuit failed.]

Xia Chuanxing: “…”

[C. One of the two strongest at Jujutsu High, future leader of the Star Religious Group, a curse-user who upholds his own ideals and is a little crazy.]

Xia Chuanxing: They’re just high school boys. I know the drill. This’ll be easy. Leave it to me!

After that... there was no after that. Her target dropped out of school to go exterminate monkeys.

Before leaving, he even asked Xia Chuanxing if she wanted to join him in creating a world without monkeys.

Xia Chuanxing: ...Thanks, but no thanks. I’m deeply touched, but I have to refuse.

[D. A dark-skinned, fake liquor-loving patriot, equally at home in the boardroom and the kitchen, a spicy hottie who seems to hold several jobs.]

“Phew...”

Xia Chuanxing lit a smoking lollipop. A look of forty percent world-weariness, thirty percent confusion, and thirty percent interest flickered in her eyes.

“Heh, men.” She curled her lip into a smile. “Let’s see when you’ll be the one I fail to win over.”

The blond fake-liquor lover: ...

-

Tentative list of targets:

Those members of the clam family.

The police academy squad from that scientifically impossible world.

The bandage guy and the hat guy.

The two strongest partners.

Those guys who play scientifically impossible tennis.

Tentative list.

Reader’s guide:

1. This is a slow-paced pursuit story, a nonsensical, silly, lighthearted comedy.

2. There will probably be plenty of OOC. Everything serves the comedy, so don’t overthink the logic.

3. The heroine is naturally charming, has a somewhat offbeat thought process, and is good at being direct. If she can solve something with a straightforward approach, she never takes the long way around.

4. And at last! At last I can write separate endings! The main story will officially have an open ending, while the extras will feature individual endings for every male lead, ww.

5. Tentative.

-

“My Wife, Geto, Turned into a Magical Girl and Flew Away!”

Blurb:

Your name is Tani Chuan Reina, and you’re an utterly ordinary second-year high school student.

Of course, maybe you’re not quite so ordinary.

Because your true identity is actually

The legendary savior of the world, fighting evil and spreading love and hope throughout the world

A magical girl!

...All right, you know that sounds like the kind of made-up premise a girl with a lingering childish streak might come up with during her edgy teenage years.

But just as there are still many mysteries in this world that humanity has yet to solve, magical girls are real, too.

When you were an utterly ordinary five-year-old in kindergarten, you got your magical girl wand from some mysterious place.

Then you spent eleven years living an utterly ordinary life as a magical girl.

And finally, quite ordinarily

You fell in love.

Your love interest is a boy at Jujutsu High with the surname Geto. He’s gentle and considerate, and in your eyes he’s perceptive and pure, untouched by worldly dust, practically like a fairy!

Geto can’t see the ugly monsters you fight every day, and he doesn’t know that this world has a dangerous side beyond the reach of ordinary people.

He’s just an ordinary person raised in a normal society, someone defenseless against monsters, fragile and in need of protection, an ordinary person through and through!

But that’s all right.

You made up your mind.

As a magical girl who protects love and peace, you’ll protect Geto and the world he lives in!

-

Geto Suguru fell in love one spring, at the start of a new school year.

His love interest was an adorable girl from a private high school next door in Tokyo.

While enjoying the sweetness of being newly in love, Geto also found himself dealing with a few sweet worries he didn’t quite know how to describe.

Namely

His delicate, pitifully adorable girlfriend seemed a little too protective of him.

She made a point of reminding him not to go out at night, and whenever he got hurt, she was more upset than if she’d been injured herself.

Now things had even reached the point where he had to message her every hour to let her know he was safe.

As one of the strongest at Jujutsu High, someone who was usually the one putting others in danger and rarely had danger come looking for him, Geto Suguru enjoyed his girlfriend’s concern, but couldn’t help feeling confused.

...What exactly did his girlfriend think he was like?

--

Everything seemed to be following a destiny that had already been laid out.

One summer afternoon filled with the noisy cries of cicadas,

Geto Suguru suppressed the irritability brought on by the summer heat, resolved to see his girlfriend one last time to say goodbye, and set out on the path to becoming a villain.

But to his surprise, his delicate girlfriend, who even cried when she heard a sad story, had turned evil before he did!

Without warning, she launched into an edgy speech about how “this world has rotted from the roots up, and there’s no saving it anymore,” declaring that she would destroy the world.

Geto Suguru watched with his own eyes as his girlfriend turned away, leaped from the balcony, hopped onto a flying broom, transformed into a magical girl, and flew into the distance!

Geto Suguru, frozen in place before he could even react: “...?”

Geto Suguru: “???”

Also known as: “Take the Path of the Unhinged and Leave the Unhinged Nowhere to Go”

“Geto, Your Wife Turned Evil”

“On the Compatibility of Jujutsu Sorcerers and Magical Girls” (grin)

Theme: Relying on yourself is better than relying on others.