Bad Guys Don’t Get Wives

In the original story, Zhou Xiaoshan rebelled and usurped the throne, committing every crime imaginable. When He Xuelin arrived, Zhou Xiaoshan was still a destitute beggar, his body covered in ugly scars. He Xuelin took him in without the slightest disgust and made him his personal attendant. Zhou Xiaoshan kept his head down and did his duties, but whenever no one was watching, he gazed at He Xuelin’s back with longing. So many people were infatuated with He Xuelin. They lingered around the handsome young marquis, their filthy intentions plain on their faces. Zhou Xiaoshan realized that even if he were a dog, he’d never get the chance. Countless better-bred, gentler, prettier dogs were already wagging their tails for He Xuelin. He understood then: being just a dog wasn’t enough. He wanted to be his emperor, and his husband. Then he could possess him completely, keep him at his side, and do whatever he pleased, acting out every wicked fantasy he’d once only dared to imagine. Coming soon: "The Mysterious Disappearance of the Dragon-Proud Protagonist" Lin Zhuo didn’t make the most of his last life. He’d only just become the Demon Lord when the protagonist captured him, and he eventually died from poison. This time, he decided to seize the initiative. While the protagonist was still young and living a miserable life, Lin Zhuo would find him, dote on him relentlessly, and raise him to be useless. Why dote on him instead of beating and abusing him? Everyone knows the more miserable a protagonist’s life is, the stronger he becomes. Lin Zhuo wasn’t about to help his enemy. To prepare, he even brought home an abandoned wild child so he could practice in advance. After a bath, the wild child turned out to be handsome and adorable, with a gentle nature and sparkling puppy eyes fixed on Lin Zhuo. Lin Zhuo was confident: You’ll be the crucial companion who leads the protagonist down the path of luxury, idleness, and ignorance, turning him into a useless wastrel. And I’ll be the blind guardian who can’t tell right from wrong, dotes on him without restraint, and spoils him rotten. Song Hanyu: ? Lin Zhuo: Spend all these ten thousand taels within three days. Three days later, Song Hanyu came back with silk worth a hundred thousand taels, which he’d secretly had tailored to fit Lin Zhuo. Lin Zhuo: Go out and spend the day fighting crickets and birdwatching, like a good street loafer. That evening, Song Hanyu came home carrying a plucked chicken and started cooking for him. Lin Zhuo: Learn to drink in the time it takes an incense stick to burn. Half a jar of wine later, Lin Zhuo was held tightly and wouldn’t be let go. The handsome boy asked him again and again, “Brother, could you like only me? Could we not bring anyone else into this?” Lin Zhuo: Oh no. My practice project seems to have gone terribly wrong. Worse, when he went out to search based on his memories of his previous life, he discovered that the protagonist was missing! - Song Hanyu’s biggest daily worry: How good does he need to get at cooking to cure Lin Zhuo’s picky eating? His second-biggest worry: Lin Zhuo keeps wanting to bring home another man. Meanwhile, the demon claiming to be some kind of “Dragon-Proud System” kept chattering in his head: Friend, do you want to be the strongest under heaven? Song Hanyu was annoyed. What was the point of being the strongest under heaven? System: Do you really want to stay trapped in this little city forever? Become the strongest under heaven, and the whole world will be yours to roam. Song Hanyu: ? Why would I roam the world? A-Zhu doesn’t even like going out. System: ...Don’t you want to embark on the path of immortality and reign supreme? Song Hanyu: I don’t want to reign supreme. I just want to cook for A-Zhu. System: …Don’t you want beautiful wives and concubines, one in each arm? Song Hanyu: Only men who don’t respect themselves keep women on both arms. You demon, what are you planning...? Could it be you like A-Zhu too, and want to make him dislike me so you can take advantage of the situation! System: Damn it! Give me back my Dragon-Proud protagonist! Theme: Persevere through every setback and keep striving