Your Majesty, Would You Like a Snake?

(The entire novel costs just 60 cents!

[The self-disciplined, stoic emperor] vs. [the pure-hearted, adorable snake who’s dead set on seducing a dragon]

Blurb

“I have a dream.”

Zhu Qing asked the emperor earnestly, “Would you be my cultivation furnace?”

The little snake demon had his eye on the emperor’s true dragon aura, hoping to borrow its power and ascend to dragonhood sooner.

“The emperor is a sage,” Zhu Qing thought with conviction. “He saves all living beings, and that includes me.”

…

Xie Qingsu rose early and worked late, took no consorts, ate plain food, and wore simple imperial robes.

His life was as still as a stagnant pond, until one day, he lifted the covers.

A young man wrapped in his far-too-large imperial robe shivered and teared up. “Winter is so cold. Could you warm me up?”

From then on, a little snake stirred the sage’s placid depths into utter chaos.

…

Zhu Qing likes the emperor. The emperor gives him a warm, spacious house, delicious meat to eat, and bright clothes to wear.

He just won’t sleep with him!

Zhu Qing: Did I study seduction magic for nothing?

He went to great lengths to tempt the dragon, and finally made it onto the dragon’s bed.

Then one day, after absorbing enough dragon aura, he dusted himself off and prepared to head into the mountains for arduous cultivation.

But he couldn’t leave.

At the center of the formation, the usually composed and dignified emperor clung to him tightly, trembling as he asked, “You don’t want me to be your cultivation furnace anymore?”

P.S. A fluffy, brainless sweet treat with modern-sounding language and a focus on romance. Perfect for reading before bed without thinking too hard.

The next novel: “My Figurine Refuses to Play Happy Family” (I treat him like my son, but he treats me like his wife) [Rolling around and begging you to check it out and add it to your favorites ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ]

Blurb:

Ji Ruozhou is a master craftsman god. Two thousand years ago, he descended to the mortal realm to pass on his skills, founded the craft masters’ sect, and took charge of overseeing, teaching, and subduing artifact spirits.

Then his disciple betrayed him, and he fell into a deep sleep under a heavenly punishment.

When he opened his eyes again, the craft masters’ art had been lost, and artifact spirits were running rampant. The Heavenly Dao struck him awake, forcing him to get up and take charge of the craft masters’ lineage once more.

One day, while he was subduing a century-old evil spirit, a man appeared out of nowhere:

Those eyes, that profile, those bones,

were all sculpted by his own hands two thousand years ago!

In modern terms, his figurine had come to life!

The man wore a black designer suit and had a face devastatingly handsome, with confidence and swagger to spare. He crushed the evil spirit’s soul with one hand!

Ji Ruozhou: My precious boy!!!

His precious boy is named Yan Lin, and he’s the captain of the National Paranormal Affairs Bureau, in charge of artifact-spirit cases.

Ji Ruozhou clapped with pride and immediately latched onto him. He used the Bureau’s resources to get work done, while spending as many days with Yan Lin as he could before falling asleep again, fulfilling his duties as a father.

And so Yan Lin gained an unofficial volunteer at the Paranormal Affairs Bureau.

Ji Ruozhou looked at him with the tender affection one might reserve for a priceless treasure, and was always saying things like, “Eat more, you’re too thin.” “Go to bed early, don’t stay up.” “This artifact isn’t very well made. Dad, anyway, don’t use it.”

Yan Lin stared at him for a long time.

“Why are you so good to me?”

Ji Ruozhou smiled kindly. “It’s only right.”

“Are you secretly in love with me?”

“...No.”

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

Ji Ruozhou swallowed his heartbreak. “This unfilial son still doesn’t know who I am... I’ll endure it.”

He endured it until the day his secret identity was exposed.

That night, Yan Lin had just come out of the shower. Water trickled down his eight-pack as he pinned Ji Ruozhou beneath him. “I’m great in bed. Why not give me a try?”

Ji Ruozhou cried out in horror, “But I’m your father!!!”

Yan Lin’s gaze lowered. “You’re hard, Father.”

The novel after that: “This Master Is Still Carrying the Load Today”

A slow-moving, fiercely protective, motherly white snake master on the receiving end vs. his green-tea disciple, a demon cub-in-the-making, on the pursuing end

Shen Xuan was an international student in Germany studying philosophy. On the day he earned his doctorate, he transmigrated into the body of an ordinary white snake in a cultivation world.

Shen Xuan: No worries. I survived two extra years of grad school, so a little transmigration is nothing!

He joined a sect, cultivated diligently for eight hundred years, became an immortal in snake form, founded his own mountain sect, and took on disciples.

His disciple was a ragged, dirt-covered, sweet and considerate child he’d found at the foot of the mountain.

Shen Xuan raised him as both mother and father. Luckily, the boy learned quickly and gradually took over all of Shen Xuan’s daily needs, from food and clothes to shelter and transportation.

Then one day, the System finally showed up.

[You actually transmigrated into a book. Your beloved disciple is the last survivor of the demon clan, and he’ll destroy the world to avenge them. You have to set him straight!]

Shen Xuan thought it over, then wiped away a tear. “So the poor child’s been through so much. I’ve been such a failure as a master!”

He called his disciple over and openly asked how his revenge was coming along.

The disciple fell to his knees, eyes brimming with tears. “I’m sorry, Master. I really did want revenge... but I was only thinking about it!”

Shen Xuan squeezed his eyes shut. “When a child says he needs the bathroom, he’s probably already wet himself.”

Sure enough, he discovered that his disciple had already gathered an army and was planning to leave the sect and face danger alone.

He packed his bags overnight.

The System: [You should stop him...]

“Be quiet,” Shen Xuan interrupted leisurely. “Is it the child’s fault? If someone bullies you, you have to hit back!”

Chu Zhaoheng hadn’t wanted to tarnish his master’s good name by dragging him into this, but his master simply reached out and patted the top of his head.

Shen Xuan’s expression was gentle. “As long as my disciple is healthy and happy, that’s all that matters.”

Under pressure from the System, he went against the plot... and somehow ended up as the Demon Lord.

Shen Xuan: “Now that I’m the Demon Lord, what should my beloved disciple be?”

That night, he lifted the covers and found his disciple smiling sweetly at him.

Chu Zhaoheng’s voice was soft and husky. “Your disciple will be your one and only Demon Queen, serving you year after year. How does that sound, Master?”

He happily pinned Shen Xuan down, wrapping around him tightly.

Shen Xuan’s breath caught.

This Master is still carrying the load today!

Theme: Love life and keep striving every day