Making a Living in Chaotic Times with My Cursed Mouth

The Hu people rebelled, and smoke rose on every side. The Han people were treated like two-legged sheep and subjected to endless humiliation.

Good news: Cui Shuruo transmigrated as the daughter of a noble family, and she had a jinx-like gift for making things happen!

Bad news: She arrived just before the Hu breached the city, and her stepmother abandoned her and fled on her own!

Cui Shuruo: "..."

A hellish start.

To live in peace and lie flat, Cui Shuruo sought out Taizong of Qi, the man who would one day usher in a golden age. While he was still just the son of a minor prefect, she chose to back him early.

Taizong: What can you do?

Cui Shuruo: I dreamed of an immortal who bestowed magic upon me and told me to support a worthy ruler. She meant you, Your Majesty!

Taizong: What nonsense!

*

Later, a severe drought struck Bingzhou.

The people resorted to eating their own children, while shamans murdered innocent girls as human sacrifices to pray for rain.

Cui Shuruo stepped forward, bathed in a radiant glow. "Human sacrifices are useless. I can bring rain!"

No one believed her. They thought she was crazy.

Cui Shuruo set up an altar and performed a ritual, secretly cursing the shaman. For three days, wherever he went, he would be caught in the rain.

Thunder rumbled in the sky, and torrential rain poured down!

The people were amazed. They prostrated themselves and hailed her as an immortal master!

The only one to suffer was the shaman who had once spoken rudely to Cui Shuruo. For three days, even when he slept indoors, the rain washed the roof tiles away and drenched him to the skin. He suffered a high fever that would not break.

*

Later still, when Taizong rose in rebellion, he lacked weapons. Cui Shuruo said she could perform a ritual to ask the immortals to send weapons.

Another strategist jumped out and accused her of pretending to be a spirit medium and spreading lies to mislead the people.

Cui Shuruo only smiled. She cursed that the next day, every soldier would trip over a weapon the moment he stepped outside.

As a result, every soldier got a weapon sharp enough to cut through iron, and they won a great victory.

As for the unlucky strategist, he got a bloody head and nearly died.

After seeing how capable Cui Shuruo was, Taizong trusted her completely and swore they would share in their good fortune.

*

When she came of age...

Officials with ulterior motives, speaking in unison: We request that the princess choose a husband!

The noble clan leaders coveting her grain-seed formula: Our clans have nephews for the princess to choose from!

Taizong, stamping his feet and cursing: Their intentions are unforgivable!

But after spending a night in the empress's chambers, Taizong came up with a new plan.

He summoned Cui Shuruo and pointed at the court officials. "My younger sister is noble. Like me, she should enjoy the company of a whole palace of men! If she takes a liking to anyone, she can have him!"

A clever, selfish heroine who unleashes her powers at the slightest provocation x a brave young general who rides in fine clothes, sets his heart on one person, and never wavers.

Recommended upcoming story: Everyday Life in the Streets of Bianjing

When Chen Yuanniang was born, her father was demoted from a military commandant to a commoner. She went from being a pampered daughter of an official to a country girl, spending her childhood cutting grass, herding cattle, and doing hard labor.

Even the betrothal arranged when she was a baby went nowhere.

With the family grain jar empty, her grandmother scolded Chen Yuanniang as a worthless burden and sent her to the hills to dig for wild vegetables. Luckily, she had the sharpest eyes in the surrounding villages and always managed to gather the most.

Then a stroke of fortune fell from the sky: she would never have to dig for wild vegetables again!

Her fiance's family had sent someone to break off the engagement!

Thick stacks of silver notes, countless trunks of gifts in compensation, and even her family's old ancestral home. This wasn't breaking off an engagement, it was the God of Wealth arriving to save her!

But it also made the whole village jealous, and people seeking her money flooded their doorstep to ask for her hand.

Her grandmother looked at her beautiful granddaughter, then at her young grandson, who was old enough to start school and pay tuition, and made a firm decision.

"We're moving!"

The whole family quickly moved to Bianjing, settling into a small courtyard with a storefront facing the street. They began a lively life among the townsfolk.

Vignette One:

Her younger brother went to school. Her grandmother and mother kneaded dough in the shop to make steamed buns. As for Yuanniang...

She rolled up her sleeves, ready to help with the work, but her grandmother slapped her hand away without mercy. A red mark appeared on her fair arm.

Her grandmother's loud, fiery voice filled the room. "You silly girl! What respectable young lady bares her arms and legs? Do you want to marry or not? Do you think we rely on you to earn a few measly coins?"

Her gentle-natured mother silently rubbed the wound for her.

"Buy yourself a couple of bright new outfits." Her grandmother tossed down a heavy purse and continued gruffly, "Finding a good husband is what matters."

Yuanniang smiled and didn't argue. She quickly stuffed the purse into her sleeve and nodded again and again like a squirrel.

Her younger brother, just back from school, put on a stern face. "Sister, don't worry. I'll study hard, and when I pass the highest examinations one day, I'll win a title for you and Mother. We won't need outsiders to bring honor to the family."

Vignette Two:

Because her family was so remarkable, Yuanniang had no choice but to follow their instructions and take her little purse out with her. She spent her days buying makeup and watching the crowds with the young ladies from the neighborhood, becoming a true daughter of Kaifeng.

Chen Yuanniang soon set her sights on a handsome scholar from a wealthy family. He often came to the family shop to buy steamed buns, and his eyes always stayed fixed on her. She pretended to be shy and occasionally asked him to teach her to write, tilting up her lovely face. Before long, he had fallen completely for her.

After that, new gifts appeared at her family's door every day. Sometimes it was makeup, sometimes pastries, sometimes hairpins...

Their affection for each other grew stronger.

Until the scholar revealed who he was and said he would come to formally ask for her hand and marry her properly. Chen Yuanniang was struck as if by lightning, frozen in place.

Wasn't that the family of the fiance she'd broken off her engagement with...?

Theme: Keep your eyes open. Everyone deserves the most beautiful view.