Mind Your Own Business

[Please add my upcoming story, “Don’t Put on an Act with Me,” to your reading list!] Sheng Yan is a rich second-generation kid with a good family, good looks, and parents who dote on him. He has three great loves in life: skipping class, surfing the internet, and standing up for others. Qin Zigui, another rich kid with a good family and good looks who lives next door to Sheng Yan, also has only three great loves in life: catching Sheng Yan skipping class, catching him surfing the internet, and catching him standing up for others. After Qin Zigui drags him away from yet another fight for the umpteenth time, Sheng Yan finally snaps. “Qin Zigui, can you stop sticking your nose into my business all day? Are homework and getting top marks in exams not fun enough for you?” The usually cold and taciturn Qin Zigui gets angry for the first time too. He yanks open Sheng Yan’s shirt and points at the large and small bruises underneath, each one enough to break your heart. “If I didn’t like you, why the hell would I care?” Sheng Yan, a hot-blooded school bully and completely straight tough guy: ??? · One morning, Sheng Yan wakes up with a hangover and discovers a wish-granting app on his phone. Any wish approved by the System is guaranteed to come true. I hope all my punishment homework is finished when I wake up. System: √ I hope I pass every subject on the next exam. System: √ I hope people stop buying Qin Zigui milk tea. System: √ After a few wishes, Sheng Yan decides he must be the chosen one, destined to reach the peak of life. Until the Nth time he wishes, “I hope Qin Zigui stops sticking his nose into my business,” only for the System to reject it. He tries again, rejected. Again, rejected. Again, rejected. Finally, the System replies: “We suggest the Host revise the wish to ‘I hope Qin Zigui becomes my boyfriend.’ This wish can be granted immediately.” Sheng Yan slowly types a question mark. Could he and Qin Zigui really be fated to be together? Later, after his wish comes true and he wakes up on Qin Zigui’s bed, furious, he sees a message pop up on Qin Zigui’s phone beside the bed: [Received darling’s wish: I hope Qin Zigui can act like a human being]. Only then does he understand, Screw fate. Qin Zigui is a giant piece of! A hot-blooded school bully on the outside, a childish little brat on the inside, uke × a cold top student on the outside, an old dog on the inside, seme · Childhood friends. The System was made by the seme. No fantasy elements whatsoever. · · A genuinely silly (emphasis on silly), sweet and fluffy story. Best not to think too hard about it. · · See the completed story in the same series, “Don’t Pretend to Be Poor with Me,” in my profile. · [Please add my upcoming story, “Don’t Put on an Act with Me,” to your reading list!] Yu Shu is the hottest newcomer in historical dramas in recent years. With his striking features, world-weary aura, fair skin, slim waist, and frail, beautiful appearance, fans call him the entertainment industry’s number one “white moonlight” in historical dramas. In countless fan-edits pairing him with other stars, he gets thoroughly ravished, giving birth to eight children in one go. And Zhou Huaixu is the father of those eight children in countless videos. He is stern and sharp, with an ascetic air, rich, handsome, tall, broad-shouldered, and radiates, “I’m aloof, formidable, and not to be messed with.” They have always disliked each other. The reason is simple: they’re both homophobic, and both are constantly paired up by fans. Zhou Huaixu even once coldly told Yu Shu, “I’d rather stay single my whole life than have any ambiguous relationship with a man.” Then that very afternoon, he is gravely injured protecting Yu Shu and falls into a coma. When he wakes up, his first words are delivered with tender affection: “My beloved consort, I have missed you for a thousand years. How about you attend me tonight?” Yu Shu, the “beloved consort”: “…” He indifferently calls 110. · After various investigations confirm that Zhou Huaixu really does just have something wrong with his head, Yu Shu has no choice but to take him home, out of simple humanitarian concern. Yu Shu takes a shower, and Zhou Huaixu wants to join him. Yu Shu goes to sleep, and Zhou Huaixu wants to join him. Yu Shu takes his stomach medicine, and Zhou Huaixu wants to join him too. Yu Shu finally loses his patience. “Zhou Huaixu, I’m retching because my gastritis is acting up, not because I’m pregnant!” That night, Zhou Huaixu posts a picture of a turtle on Weibo: [Celebrations all around! The Crown Prince has arrived. @Yu Shu, the child’s father, you’ve worked hard.] Yu Shu: :) He doesn’t know if the whole internet exploded, but he certainly did. But since Yu Shu owes his life to Zhou Huaixu, he can only put up with it. If Zhou wants to shower together, they shower together. If he wants to sleep together, they sleep together. If he wants to have a child together, Yu Shu will pretend to give birth. Until one day, Yu Shu comes home early and sees the Tyrant Zhou, who should supposedly be pining for him, casually playing with his little turtle while saying lazily into the phone, “Relax, I got better ages ago. I’ve been faking it to pursue Yu Shu.” Only then does Yu Shu finally smile in relief. Down with all that feudal nonsense. [A beautiful, delicate, world-weary uke with a wicked mouth × a handsome, wealthy husband-type seme whose head is full of water] A completely unrestrained, silly story. Life is hard enough, so let’s have some fun. Theme: Childhood friends forever!