Please Keep Pretending to Be Human Today, Too

Sang Zhao is a little orange cat. He used to be a pet cat twice. Then, after a bout of bad luck, his cultivation suddenly reached perfection and he transformed into a human. All he could do was work hard while going hungry and put his all into pretending to be human. Being human is so hard. Pinyin is hard to learn. He can’t get the nine-key or twenty-six-key keyboard layouts right, and everything he types is full of typos. Arithmetic is hard to learn, too. He wanted to buy a pound of sticky rice cake, but didn’t know how much a pound was. He got swindled into buying three and a half pounds, and the seller shortchanged him by sixty cents. He really wanted to stay a cat forever: scratching the curtains every day, picking at the floor, watching the little birds fly past outside the window, and waiting for the humans to come home from work and praise him as the cutest little kitty in the whole world. Sang Zhao let out a long sigh. With a computer bag under his arm and a sandwich in his mouth, he returned to his workstation and clumsily fished out the mouse. His sharp ears caught the humans behind him calling him a “nepo hire.” He took out his phone, opened Baidu with practiced ease, and quickly typed a string of misspelled characters. [What does “light element fu” mean?] - To improve his company’s reputation, Tang Yu decided to do some charity work. He signed an agreement with the authorities, saying his company would take on some special employees. They were commonly known as nepo hires. But... weren’t they a little too special? He walked into the office and saw an employee walking on their hands and holding an umbrella with their feet. He got into the elevator and ran into a salesperson elegantly wiping the blood from the corner of their mouth. He started work in a daze, only to see his new assistant stroll in with a laptop balanced on his head, then open his mouth and start meowing. Tang Yu: ...Whoa. A little crazy is great! Young people should be a little crazy! Clap, clap, clap! Later, Tang Yu pinched his philtrum and let out a piercing scream. “Why is everyone pretending to be human at my company?! If you’re all pretending to be human, can’t you at least do a better job? Sang Zhao, stop climbing the wallpaper! Get down from the ceiling!” 1. Top, silly cat x overworked CEO. 2. A world overrun by monsters. Please do your best to pretend to be human today, too! 3. I rewrote the blurb, but it’s still a story about a little cat and a domineering CEO. I couldn’t get the old opening to work, but the new angle flows much better. Long live the little cat! Coming soon: Potato God, May I Have a Bite? Tap my author page and add it to your favorites~ Kisses! Blurb: Zhu Xian loves potatoes so much. Steamed potatoes are delicious, fried potatoes are delicious, and shredded potatoes, mashed potatoes, and potato cakes are all delicious. French fries, potato chips, and potato wedges are delicious, too! He could eat potatoes at every meal, every day. People said that, given how much he loved potatoes, he could even fall in love with one. Then one day, he really did meet the Potato God. The god, holding a basket of potatoes, blocked Zhu Xian’s path. As Zhu Xian stared at him in confusion, he transformed into a giant potato as tall as a person. The potato’s skin flushed red as it swayed gently from side to side. “I’m the Potato God. I want to be with the person who loves potatoes most. You... Huh, why did you faint?” - Zhu Xian’s life had been peaceful and uneventful. He never expected that loving potatoes too much would get him into trouble. The Potato God held up a parchment contract and said their marriage was fated, and had already been officially approved by the gods. They might have only just met, but ever since potatoes came into existence, they had been destined to be a loving couple! Zhu Xian clutched his philtrum, on the verge of suffocating. “I just have a bit of a sweet tooth. How did I end up married?” “It’s all right,” the Potato God reassured him. “We’ll start with marriage and fall in love afterward. We gods are all about this kind of forced romance.” - Later, Zhu Xian brought his handsome South American boyfriend to a mixer. His boyfriend had honey-colored skin and curly brown hair, wild yet obedient. His pale gray, almost translucent eyes stayed fixed on Zhu Xian; he didn’t even glance at anyone else. A friend teased Zhu Xian: “Where did you find such a handsome foreign boyfriend?” Zhu Xian answered honestly: “We were betrothed as children.” His friend: ? His boyfriend cuddled up to him and added in perfect Mandarin: “I’m his husband.” 1. Top. Human x Potato God. 2. Thanks for discovering my story. I love you, curly-haired one~ Mwah! Theme: Through the protagonist’s positive, uplifting everyday life, this story promotes the correct values of equality and universal humanism.