I Conquered the Empire With Talisman Drawing [Livestream]

Shi Buxi, a Maoshan disciple, ate so much that his master kicked him down the mountain to find a job. His master put a little too much force into it and kicked him straight into the interstellar age, ten thousand years in the future. Starships roamed the cosmos, and human mental power could be used like a nuclear weapon. Shi Buxi only knew how to draw talismans and form hand seals. Even when he tried to get a job waiting tables at a restaurant in exchange for food, intelligent robots beat him to it. To avoid starving to death, he had no choice but to join a Livestream reality show called "Survive the Apocalypse." A vampire appeared. No problem, there's a lightning net. A dried corpse appeared. No problem, scatter beans to summon soldiers. Everyone: At first, I thought this guy was here for laughs. Then I realized how ignorant I was. One night, the man known as the Zombie King of the apocalypse climbed up a drainpipe on an eighty-story building. He flipped back Shi Buxi's blanket. His pale face was dark and dangerous as he gently stroked the trembling young man's cheek and asked ominously, "Who are you planning to hunt down as a group? Me?" Shi Buxi bit the blanket, eyes red, and shook his head. "If I said I wanted to get a group together to bring you food, would you believe me?" The Zombie King unbuttoned his shirt one button at a time, wild and languid. "No need. I'll come eat you myself." Shi Buxi sobbed: Please, Ancestor, give me a talisman to strengthen my waist. Talismans expert bottom x Zombie King Emperor top Reading guide: This work is a product of literary creation and has absolutely nothing to do with reality. It is entirely fictional, so don't apply it to real life. Believe in science. Coming soon: "The Little One Takes Me Wilderness Survival, and We Go Viral" Also known as "Humanity's Strongest Little One [Livestream]" When word got around that Chu Shiqing, a trainee idol who was equally notorious and popular in the entertainment industry, was joining a global wilderness survival reality show with a toddler in tow, everyone in the industry went wild. "Isn't that the pretty boy Chu Shiqing who dances like a flailing octopus and sings like he's wailing at a funeral, and only got picked because of his face? Is he taking his kid into the wilderness to beg for food?" "This is a survival reality show, not a parenting show. Did you get the wrong set?" "Director, if you're being held hostage, blink twice. Do you really expect a toddler who still has a pacifier in his mouth to transmigrate through the Amazon and cross the Atlantic?" "It's over, it's over. This year we'll have to get on our knees and call everyone Dad at the Asian and international competitions again." Later... Chu Shiqing pinned a tiger down with one hand and rubbed its head against the ground, then pried open the jaws of the most ferocious Cuban crocodile to steal its food... And the weakest little one left audiences around the world stunned: "Daddy, Big Brother Shark says he has lots of little fishies. He wants to know if we want some." "Daddy, Uncle Clouded Leopard says there are little deer over there we can pick up." "Daddy, Grandma Wolf says she knows where there's a rabbit's nest." Viewers: I thought I was listening to a fairy tale, but then I realized I did so badly in school that I forgot to learn animal languages. International competition: The Hua Kingdom's contestants are too strong, but they have one weakness: the little one. The demon's hand reached out, and in the blink of an eye, he went flying ten meters away. Foreign contestants: ... There was once a cute little toddler right in front of me, and I didn't cherish him properly... If I had another chance, I would have fallen to my knees and called him Dad from the start... Domestic contestants: They turned a survival reality show into a camping trip. No baby in history can claim second place, because no one dares to claim first. Romance-focused version: Shang Xingzhou has an emotional disorder. At long last, he fell for someone, only for that person to disappear, quite literally. Everyone says the person doesn't exist, that he made them up. Then, on a wilderness survival show, he meets a young man named Chu Shiqing who has a child that looks just like him. But the young man says he doesn't know Shang Xingzhou, and yet he climbs into his tent every night. At night, the young man speaks in a soft, clingy voice, cooing: "Hubby, hold me. I feel awful. Kiss me." During the day, the young man looks at him coldly. "I came to see you last night? Delusions are an illness. You need treatment." Movie Emperor Shang grits his teeth in silence and waits. At first, viewers: Chu Shiqing climbs into Movie Emperor Shang's tent every night. Does he have no shame? Later, viewers: It's happening, it's happening! Place your bets: will Chu Shiqing climb into Movie Emperor Shang's tent tonight? Gorgeous bottom x Possessive, love-struck top Reading guide: 1. High-tech baby-making, no pregnancy. This will be explained in the story. 2. "There was once a cute little toddler right in front of me, and I didn't cherish him properly" is adapted from a line in A Chinese Odyssey. Premise: Don't fear hardship. Persevere, and you'll make it to the end.