How to Raise a Little Taotie

(This novel will go VIP on Saturday, January 30. There'll be a 10,000-word update and a red-envelope giveaway.) Ke Yi proudly held his head high, perched magnificently on the counter. "Awoooo!" Look, this is my territory, my buffet restaurant. Every strange and unusual pet is my food.

The shopkeeper, Yin Ze, picked Ke Yi up and coaxed him. "Be good. We have to sell them to afford to keep you."

Ke Yi tilted his head. "Wouldn't it be easier to eat them directly?"

Yin Ze: "We have to focus on sustainable development. We can't drain the pond to catch all the fish."

Ke Yi, excited: "If their owners don't like them, can I eat them?"

Yin Ze fed Ke Yi a drop of blood from his fingertip and said slowly, "Every pet I sell is the supreme master of its owner."

Tch... You think a bunch of "food" could make people like them?

Customer A's feedback: "The dog is great, pretty and obedient. It can even go to the door to pick up food deliveries. Sometimes it looks at me upside down, though, like it thinks I'm stupid."

Customer B's comment: "My bird beauty is gorgeous and has a sweet voice. Aside from being a little picky about food, she's perfect. She even pecks me awake at exactly six every morning. I'm happy but conflicted. Sigh, she really doesn't need to wake me up so early."

Customer C: "Actually, I want to buy the golden long-haired dog sitting on the counter. I don't know what breed it is. It looks a little strange, but so impressive. Too bad the shopkeeper won't sell it. I've already offered a million."

Yin Ze stroked the "golden retriever" on his lap and pinched its pink paw, which had only just grown back. "This one is exclusively mine. Not for sale."

Ke Yi snatched his paw back. "Awooo!" The great master is in a bad mood. Maybe another day I'll deign to let Little Zezi wait on me.

The motto of the Strange and Spooky Pet Shop: Help every monster find a qualified, tireless poop-scooper, providing food and shelter, conversation, play, and good times.

---Next up: Hellish Express Delivery. Please add it to your list.

Blurb: After Si Lin's grandfather passed away, he left him an ordinary little house.

One day, Si Lin woke up in horror to find himself in the underworld, surrounded by ghosts lined up waiting to be reincarnated.

A ghost who had died a violent death, with half his head knocked off, blocked Si Lin's way and grinned menacingly. "Young man, mind delivering something to my wife for me? And tell that ungrateful son of mine to burn more paper money for his dead father. Oh, I'll pay you."

An old ghost who had died of a brain hemorrhage said, "I need to send a package too. Please tell my son my passbook is in the lining of the wardrobe. My son will pay you."

A repentant ghost who had died violently said, "Send one of my bones to my 'friend' from when I was alive. Wish him a broken family, penniless and destitute, and tell him to come down here soon for a drink with me. My ex-wife, my children, and I will all pay you."

Si Lin silently took the orders and watched the huge balance in his passbook grow day by day, smiling to himself.

An unremarkable worker in the world of the living, a famous deliveryman in the underworld. He does the most ordinary day job and the most incredible side hustle. The grim-faced underworld enforcer who showed up at his door said, "I have a package to send too. There's a lot of business. We can sign a long-term contract."

There's no way Si Lin could turn that down. He pulled out a calculator. "For long-term business, you get a 13 percent discount. Thank you for your patronage."

Six months later, Si Lin blocked the underworld enforcer's doorway. "Could you explain this address? Isn't this your own house?"

Yin Li rubbed his chin and opened the door. "It's a long story. Let's discuss it in the bedroom."

---Advance reservation novel 2: The Cannon Fodder Omega Who Transmigrated into a Book Only Wants to Grow Melons

Su Chi, a graduate student at an agricultural university, accidentally transmigrated into the body of a cannon-fodder Omega in a melodramatic novel. In the book, he used his family's status to bully the protagonist Omega, schemed against the protagonist Alpha, and tried to secure his place by getting pregnant. In the end, the protagonist Omega's lovesick backup used a spade to dig out his gland and sent him to a psychiatric hospital.

Fight over a man? Have a baby? No thanks!

Su Chi, with a farming instinct etched into his DNA, only wants to quietly grow melons and eat them, though the melons he grows seem to have undergone a strange genetic mutation.

Major General Xin Ye of the Empire looked at the melons crawling all over the ground, baring their teeth and brandishing their thorn-covered leaves, which kept opening and closing. He decided "strange" didn't begin to describe them. "Can you eat them?"

"Sure. They're very sweet."

"How do you pick them?"

"You have to trade them the fertilizer they like."

That sounded like too much trouble. Major General Xin thought it might not be worth it, when his subordinate promptly handed him a test report. Xin Ye quickly read it and picked up a pen. "Second Young Master Su, sign a long-term contract with me."

Su Chi: "No."

Major General Xin frowned. "Why?"

Because you're the lovesick backup, the one who'll fall madly in love with the protagonist Omega, become his golden finger, take care of him, look after him, help him raise his child... and even turn on me.

Xin Ye: "...I think you have a serious misunderstanding about me. We need to get to know each other better."

Years later.

Xin Ye: "Do you understand me now?"

"..." Su Chi: Damn, I understand you way too well.

Recommended novel by my friend Da Wang: historical romance The Hidden Mirror: A marshal who disguises herself as a man and serves her father loyally, and the Prince of Yan, who disguises himself as everything except a woman and enjoys a life of carefree games.

Theme: Kindness and malice have never been determined by species or region.