[Various] I Kidnapped the Boss

Me, bound to the Villain System? I'm having a freaking blast! Let's start with the ultimate evil: kidnapping! Huh? There's a lone Russian up ahead... Shh, don't make a sound. Let's sneak up on him... Nice! One brick to the head and he's down! Ah! And there's a white-haired birdman with wings flying around in the sky?! A vampire dressed so provocatively he's practically showing his underwear?! A gender-bending suit-wearing master schemer who looks just like Michael Jackson?! And a show-off who keeps saying "Kagami no Suigetsu"?! Tie them up! Tie them up! Tie them all up! Okay, next, we call the people who want them back most and demand ransom! "Hello? Is this Dazai Osamu/Sawada Tsunayoshi/Kujo Jotaro/Ubuyashiki Kagaya/Kurosaki Ichigo/Kudo Shinichi?! Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky/Byakuran/Dio/Kibutsuji Muzan/Aizen/Gin is in my hands! If you don't pay a million in ransom, I'll kill him!" Wait! What are you people laughing at????!!!!! Reader's Guide: 1. The author loves to disappear. Updates come whenever, but if you pester me, I might get motivated. 2. The author is basically a goofball, so please be civil while reading. If anyone acts out of character, blame me. 3. If you don't like it, click the X. Please don't tell me QAQ. My heart is made of rainbow-colored glass. 4. Comments are welcome. If nobody reads it, I won't keep writing. Everyone who comes to find the author is good people. 5. If you can accept an author this lousy, you're my little angels! 6. The author who keeps vanishing is now a senior in high school, so here's a chapter for you to look at. I'll be back after the college entrance exams! Believe me, I won't be able to bear leaving you! Theme: Goofiness