[Western Crossover] Diary of a Marriage of Convenience

It was just an ordinary Watchtower meeting. The difference this time was that after the meeting, Superman stopped everyone to ask what they thought about marriage.

Batman answered with a chilling laugh, then swept away in his cape. The rest exchanged baffled looks. The Flash scratched his head. "Hey, big blue guy, you know we're all single, right?"

"I'm only asking your opinions. You don't have to be married to have one," Hawkgirl said, thumping the table in annoyance. "Besides, we have married people here. Hawkman and I love each other. Our marriage is happy and fulfilling."

No one expected Cyborg or Shazam to offer any earth-shattering insights, so they ignored the two minors and turned to the other married person there. Aquaman scratched his head. "Mera and I only got married recently. As for what I think about it... I really don't have anything to say."

"Is there no one around you whose marriage you can talk about?" Superman asked, disappointed.

After a moment of silence, Diana said flatly, "If you want to know, my father, Zeus, and his wife Hera fight every day on Mount Olympus. The kind of fighting where they send each other to see Hades."

"Oh! My mother was married too!" Aquaman suddenly exclaimed, clapping his hands. Superman asked hopefully, "And then?"

Aquaman paused suspiciously. "...Then her husband banished her."

After a suffocating silence, Green Lantern summed it up: "So the equation marriage = grave still holds. The only difference is whether you're digging the hole or already filling it in?"

Then Hawkgirl smacked him into the wall with one wing.

In a nutshell: Superman finds a life pod containing an insectoid in space. Three months later, Kal-El decides (under duress) to get married.

Warnings before reading:

OOC, with personal headcanons and an agenda. The male lead (crossed out) is the wedding partner, Supes. If you have questions, please look at the title and category.

The heroine is an insectoid who can mimic a human form, a hundred-year-old desert-dwelling loli. The kind who could send a young reporter straight to prison in America. Her true form is thoroughly alien, and her values differ from those of humans. If you don't like monster girls, please stop here.

A story grown from a sudden idea, with no backlog, no outline, and no logic. Written at an elementary-school level. As long as it's fun, that's all that matters.

Updates whenever the mood strikes.

This is an abandoned pit.

Theme: Superman decides (under duress) to get married.