The Problematic Academy Has a Big Problem

[Flashy, carefree writing for fun, updated whenever I find time. Currently stockpiling chapters for "Nightmare Forbidden Zone [Infinite]"; scroll down for the blurb]

Part 1

Question: Does anyone know about that legendary magic academy that admits students with all kinds of special abilities? Can you tell me about it!

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[Anonymous User]: Thanks for the invite. I know about it, and by a strange twist of fate, I ended up enrolling there. As the only normal, ordinary carbon-based life-form at the academy, I can tell you I’m panicking. Really panicking.

It’s not like being so rare makes me the academy’s darling. Normal humans can’t learn spells or develop supernatural abilities, so I always come in dead last on practical exams.

And there’s no popular campus prince falling for me, either, because the top-ranked rich and handsome guy is actually a magical girl.

My classmates like moonbathing in the middle of the night, the teachers enjoy meditating and cultivating immortality, and magical skills and railguns clashing is an everyday occurrence. Studying depends on your own initiative, staying alive depends on keeping your head down, and the only human here is struggling to pass.

Ah, I can’t take it anymore. The magical girl in question saw this post and is coming after me. I’m going to hide my account first.

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[Anonymous Reply]: Does it make any difference whether you’re anonymous or not, Yu Yinghuan? Get out here!

[Anonymous User]: No, no, I’m not anonymous. My ID is literally Anonymous User. You’re the one whose anonymity is useless, Young Master. Oh, wait, Magical Girl Jing Cong :)

[This comment has been blocked by the administrator]

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Part 2

After the clock struck midnight, there was no Cinderella running away, only Yu Yinghuan wandering into a weird school.

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[Welcome, new student! I’m your guide spirit, Fabira-meow~] A pure white kitten appeared in the middle of the road.

Yu Yinghuan: ...I’m not a new student.

[Then get ready to lose your head, intruder-meow~] (raises knife)

Yu Yinghuan: Wait, wait, wait! I remember now! I am, I am, I absolutely am!

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[What special abilities do you have, new student-meow? We warmly welcome students from the magic, cultivation, and esper tracks, as well as other special categories-meow.]

Yu Yinghuan, a perfectly ordinary human: ...An exceptional talent for snark?

[New student Yu Yinghuan's ability successfully registered: snark.]

Yu Yinghuan: ?!? Wait, is this academy really not going to go bankrupt one day?

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Ordinary student x aspiring magical girl

Yu Yinghuan x Jing Cong

A gossip-loving slacker and snark machine x a seemingly cold, tsundere master of sarcasm

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◎Reader's Guide

1. Blurb archived on September 3. Written for my own amusement, full of everyday banter, memes, and snark.

2. The heroine is a walking chatterbox.

3. To sum it up in one phrase: plain, simple, too much.

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◆, Blurb for "Nightmare Forbidden Zone [Infinite]", ◆

Wen Ling has been emotionally numb since childhood.

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When Nightmare Syndrome broke out and countless people were dragged into deadly games in their dreams, this extreme detachment made Wen Ling, a member of the Dreambreakers, the most unshakable and powerful operative.

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"Sob..." A vengeful spirit shed bloody tears, its face uncannily like Wen Ling's mother.

"Big sister, it hurts so much..." A petite girl cried and begged to be held. She looked like the neighbor's youngest daughter.

"I hate this! I hate this!" A bloodstained woman wailed, her voice exactly like that of an old friend.

"Roar, " A demon from hell poked its head out, with a blue-green face, fangs, and a vicious expression.

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"You're all too noisy."

In the darkness, the girl wore an expressionless face and wielded a long blade, cutting down every last ghost.

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Wen Ling, who had always worked alone, was forced to team up with a temporary rover named Nan Ke.

Nan Ke's combat ability was inversely proportional to his looks. Monsters were always chasing him, yet he had an incredibly keen intuition and could easily detect the unknown parts of every Nightmare Zone. Wen Ling had no choice but to bring this deadweight along on her missions every day.

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And as everything approached its end, Wen Ling entered the final Nightmare Zone.

But the Nightmare Emperor was nowhere to be seen on the throne of bones.

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Wen Ling looked at Nan Ke thoughtfully.

The young man blinked. "I didn't do anything."

I just left home, that's all.

Theme: Goofy everyday life