How Can These Love-Struck Treacherous Ministers Save Themselves?

Feel free to check out my fantasy BL novel next door, A Deadly Match Three for Two Gongs.

Don't let the title fool you. Don't overlook the fact that it's a silly comedy. (Switch)

Blurb:

The cunning Minister Bai Yuhui reunites with his junior fellow disciple at court, where the younger man has become a steward under Bai's rival. With their factions at odds, they fight openly by day and flirt tenderly by night. While away on official business, the two finally cross the line. Just as they're getting close, Bai Yuhui dies in a sea of flames...

After losing his memory, Bai Yuhui becomes the ruler of a tiny kingdom. By coincidence, he runs into his junior fellow disciple again, only now the younger man is the enemy kingdom's Guardian, so cold and aloof. Once again, they find themselves in positions that make their relationship impossible to explain. Wearing a mask, Bai Yuhui isn't recognized at first glance by his junior fellow disciple, who nearly kills him... Thankfully, after many twists and turns, the two end up together again.

Of course they'll recognize each other eventually. Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep.

Overbearing Ruler: This cat is so cute.

Guardian: You can have it.

Overbearing Ruler: This cat belongs to someone.

Guardian: I'll go buy it for you.

Overbearing Ruler: Deputy Li won't sell it. He's afraid his wife will beat him to death.

Guardian: He's that henpecked?

Overbearing Ruler: ...You're not henpecked?

Guardian: I am. Very.

Here are two upcoming stories. Take a look if you're interested.

After Being Reborn, I Tied the Villainous Leader to the Bed

Sui Changlin, the jianghu's number one beacon of justice, challenges Xuan Mocheng, the jianghu's greatest villain, and wins.

Sui Changlin is a man of honor. He promised Xuan Mocheng that if he won, he would personally bury him beside the Wang Song Pavilion beneath Jiyu Mountain. Sui Changlin is digging the grave when Xuan Mocheng, who faked his death, kicks him into it and quickly buries the beacon of justice until only his head is sticking out.

The two have a friendly exchange.

"Beacon of justice? Pah! You drugged my wine. What kind of light is that? A light of darkness?"

"Ahem. Sect Leader Xuan, everyone in the world knows I won. If you suddenly come back to life, I'll lose face."

"You want to save face, so I have to die? Who am I to you? Why should I put up with you?"

"Promise me you won't show your face in the jianghu, and I'll pretend I've buried you. Deal?"

"No."

"Then we'll die together."

After being reborn, Xuan Mocheng unexpectedly discovers that he's helping his master choose new disciples? Wait a minute, who's that radish-shaped kid in the back? Isn't that the beacon of justice?

"Master, that boy looks talented. Let's pick him."

After cleaning the clueless Sui Changlin off in the little pond in the backyard, Xuan Mocheng bundles him up and takes him to bed.

"Senior brother, what... what are you doing?"

"Do you know what kind of martial art I practice?"

"No."

"The Dragon Yang Divine Skill! How about that? Scared now?"

Sui Changlin blinks, then suddenly smiles. "I never thought there'd be anyone else in the world who practices the Dragon Yang Divine Skill besides me! Senior brother, let's get started!"

!!!!

Transmigrating into a Livestream: The School Heartthrob and the School Bully Fake It Until They Make It

The school heartthrob and school bully ship I love is real!

Ji Wenyi, the heartthrob at School A, and Yun Longhe, the bully at School B, arrange to meet in the woods after school because of a mix-up involving a love letter.

As soon as they arrive, lightning strikes and sends them to an unknown space.

When they open their eyes, more than a dozen cameras are pointed at them, filming furiously. The comments rolling across a giant screen behind them look almost exactly like the livestreams they usually watch. Have they transmigrated into a live broadcast?

"All right, let me explain this scene. You need to look surprised and caught off guard. You have one hour. Ready? Three, two, one, go!"

The two of them are still bewildered when the other actors on set shove them into a corner. They watch the actors rush around frantically in front of the cameras, demonstrating what it means to be surprised and caught off guard.

Yun Longhe: "They're working so hard. Are they competing for an Oscar?"

Ji Wenyi: "Why is everyone so tense?"

"Wow, the two new guys in the back are so handsome!"

"Everyone, we've got fresh faces! If these two puppies don't act well later, be nice to them. I've got their backs!"

"Move it, guys! Time's almost up. If you don't start filming, you'll be skinned alive! Aren't you scared?"

Skinned alive? Skinned alive!

That's when Yun Longhe notices that the pictures hanging on the walls are made from human skin. Real human skin.

He and Ji Wenyi have transmigrated, and into a live broadcast?

Time is almost up. How are they supposed to act out this first scene?

Yun Longhe: "What's supposed to be unexpected?"

Ji Wenyi: "Getting a failing grade would be unexpected."

Yun Longhe: "Wow, look, there's a perfect score behind you!"

Ji Wenyi turns around, but there's nothing on the wall. When he turns back, Yun Longhe counts to three and kisses him.

The comments go wild!

"Ahhh! I'm dying!"

"I can die without regrets today!"

"6666! I'm sending you health bars. Keep going!"

Cut!

The director projects a photo of the two of them kissing onto the public screen. In the picture, Ji Wenyi looks bewildered, helpless, flustered, and surprised. The two of them portray being caught off guard perfectly, becoming the scene's best leading actors and earning a day off.

During that day, they learn the rules of the livestream room: if they can't satisfy the audience watching the screen, they'll be skinned alive and have their tendons pulled out. To avoid becoming wall decorations, they have no choice but to team up again and press on together in the livestream.

"Ji, they say they want to see us being all lovey-dovey."

"Then let's have a huge fight."

"Why?"

"Nothing makes a better preview for the next episode than unrequited love."

"That makes so much sense. Tell me! Whose hickey was that on your neck when you came home last night? Which dog bit you? I've been so good to you, and you went out looking for a dog? Can't I satisfy you? Get over here. We need to have a serious talk."

"Are you possessed by the spirit of an actor? You start the second they call action? Why are you taking your belt off? Put it back on!"

"Do I look like I'm acting?"

"Damn, you're serious? Fine, I've got a lot of pent-up anger too. Don't blame me for not warning you when you're the one asking for it."

The comments scroll so fast they're impossible to look at...

"I'll pay! I'll send health bars! Get rid of the mosaic!"

"A thousand people are begging the director to give us close-ups. Film them in bed!"

"Hehehe, hehehe. This is great."

Theme: Difficulties aren't roadblocks in our way, but our fuel stops. Crush them beneath your feet, keep moving forward, and embrace a beautiful tomorrow.