Beneath the Begonias

May you always have someone to love you and always have someone to love you

"Under the Begonia Flower" I kind of forgot where I read it. The editor of Bitang asked Chun Yu, if you were to fall in love with one of his characters, who would you choose? Chunyu chose He Dongsheng, the most suitable man for love and marriage. He is sunny, naughty, funny, can sing, and can dance. When I confessed my love, I said, "I have feelings for her, so I want to play with her and give her things." The ways to chase Zhou Yi are to send books, help with planning, and come over night when she is sick. What moved me the most was his choice after being called by Zhou Yi's mother to "persuade" him. Instead of pestering and questioning, I really let go. Later, Zhou Yi asked him in an alley in Zhaoyang: "What do you like about me?" He said, "Confessing on the phone seems very insincere." After so many years, he is still the same, he can't say nice words, but he is sincere and candid. There is also the matter of him delivering books. From "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" in Chapter 11 to the complete translation of "In Search of Lost Time" in Chapter 35, I have been loving Zhou Yi in a way that Zhou Yi can feel. Even during the two years after the breakup, He Dongsheng never really let go. He waited for her for two years, worked hard to make himself better, and then reappeared when she needed him most. Just like Zhou Yi said, "If the sky falls, he will hold it up." "He can walk to me first firmly." Firmness and preference make people warm and practical. Zhou Yi. I wasn't good at physics and chemistry in high school, but I chose science because of the prejudice that "there is no way out by studying literature." Although I obviously like writing, I hid literature in my second degree and majored in bioengineering, which I didn't like, just because my parents said it was "easy to find a job." She made a detailed college plan. She wanted to be in the top three in the exam, get a scholarship, pass CET-4 or CET-6, and take the GRE. Each item is like completing a KPI, not living. I don't know why we have been taught to strive for success since childhood. You need to do well in college, choose a good major, and find a stable job. Therefore, I especially understand why Zhou Yi felt "relaxed" during his time in Urumqi in Chapter 32, and why the winter in Urumqi was minus 20 degrees Celsius, but his home was as warm as spring. Because it was the first time in her life that she didn't have to answer to anyone. Grandpa and grandma didn't ask about her grades or whether she had any future, they just asked her "What does Yiyi like to do?" Watching it now brings tears to my eyes. The character in the book that made me conflicted was Zhou Yi's mother Chen Jie. To be honest, I didn't really like her for the first two thirds of the movie. He made life decisions for Zhou Yi, called He Dongsheng to force them to break up, and said "for your own good" every time. But when I read the part where Zhou Yi broke down and cried in the hospital, I suddenly felt a little sad. When Chen Jie cried and said, "Mom was wrong," there were tears in her eyes. At that moment I realized that she was just a mother who loved her daughter in the wrong way. Afraid that Zhou Yi would suffer hardship, that she would choose the wrong path, and that she would regret it in the future. But she doesn't know that every "stable" path she chooses for Zhou Yi is not what Zhou Yi likes. It's not just the mother in the book. Parents in real life (including me) have experienced hardship, so they desperately want their children to eat less. They feel that hobbies cannot be used as food, and stability is more important than anything else. Their "good for you" is true, but the harm they cause is also true. When Zhou Yi was in Xinjiang, he wanted to die every night. When Chen Jie found out, he cried so much that he could not speak. I was thinking at the time that if something really happened to Zhou Yi, Chen Jie would probably never forgive herself for the rest of her life. So when I saw the reconciliation between mother and daughter in the end, and when I saw Chen Jie saying, "When you get better, just do whatever you want, Mom won't tell you." Love can really hurt sometimes, but the important thing is to be willing to admit you were wrong and be willing to let go. How difficult it is. In Chapter 23, the question Lu You asked Zhou Yi before going abroad, "Which do you choose between what you should do and what you want to do?" Almost ran through the entire book (I remember that Chun Yu had this confusion again on Weibo later). It took Zhou Yi five years to find the answer. She chose what she "should do": study science, take postgraduate entrance exams, enter a graduate school, and become a teacher. Every step is correct, every step is safe, but every step is unhappy. She twisted herself into a person that even she hated. She was pessimistic, sensitive, and had no self-confidence. She felt that she was worthless. Until she was in kindergarten in Zhaoyang, a six-year-old girl asked her, "Why don't you understand such a simple truth?" That truth is, choose what you like. Like may not necessarily lead to success, but only by liking can you overcome those difficulties. Zhou Yi has been writing for so many years and has been rejected countless times. She doesn't even make enough money to buy books, but she still can't let go. Because that was the only moment when she felt "life was meaningful". He Dongsheng is right: "If you can't bear this setback, then just don't write it." If you really like it, you won't give up just because no one will read it. True love is something that makes you think painfully during the day, not sleeping well at night, and getting up at five in the morning while cursing your mother. Zhou Yi finally chose to major in creative writing at S University, and chose He Dongsheng, choosing the path that was "difficult but I like it". I admire her very much. (I was scrolling through Weibo at noon today to join in the fun and get curious. I saw the essay question of the 26th National College Entrance Examination, "As you grow up, your understanding of which word has changed?" I just finished reading it. If I don't talk about the big things in the country, the first thing that comes to my mind is the word "choice". I was rebellious when I was a child and didn't want to study every day. Now think about it, every choice, whether going to school or going to work, is within the scope of my knowledge, so I must move forward firmly and always believe in myself.) Read the entire novel and extras. What particularly moved me was what Chunyu wrote in the appendix. About frustration, about life, about love, about ideals, about destiny, about freedom, about art. It didn't feel preachy at all. Because it was Chunyu who came out of the trough after experiencing failure in the postgraduate entrance examination, illness... And wrote the words. Especially the passage about being beautiful even at the lowest point. You said that in the winter when you were 24 years old, you bought a lot of clothes and shoes with your newly paid salary, leaving only a few yuan for a taxi. It was the first time you went shopping so happily. After that, you were only happy and even happier. When I see this, I always think of the time when I was having a hard time taking exams. I was wearing the simplest sweatshirt, my hair was tied up casually, and I didn't bother to wash my face. I feel like I'm already like this, so what else do I have to think about doing? No one cares anyway. But Chun Yu is right when he says, "Even if you are frustrated at a low point, it is the most beautiful low point, because you are beautiful." Although beauty cannot solve the problem, if you clean yourself up, you will feel that you have not completely collapsed. When you look at yourself in the mirror wearing beautiful clothes and lipstick, you will feel, well... I still deserve to be treated well. I thought of the book saying that Begonia has no fragrance because Begonia was secretly in love and was afraid of being found out, so she gave up the fragrance. The ancients called her the heartbroken flower, which was used to express the grief of parting. The book Zhou Yi wrote for He Dongsheng is called "Under the Begonia Flowers". I think this book title is super cool. Zhou Yi (Chun Yu) is like a Begonia flower. Not that flamboyant, not that strong, even a little "scentless". But she grew up silently and stubbornly in those unseen corners. And He Dongsheng is the man standing under the crabapple flowers. He saw her efforts and smelled her fragrance. You (Spring Rain) happened to be in full bloom, and I happened to pass by. It's like, the most beautiful encounter in life. Not long after I started following Chunyu Weibo, I met a lovely and kind-hearted sister Shu You. She told me that the male protagonist in "Under the Begonia Flower" was her favorite among the many books written by Chunyu, and she recommended me to read it. After reading it, I understood what Sister Shu You said about "loving Ho Dong-sheng throughout my life." Although the contact with her has gradually decreased in the past two or three years, every time Chunyu publishes a new book, they still remind each other and wish Chunyu well. (>^ω^<) I carefully re-read the pocket book "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" again. Every time I read it, I can think of the story "Under the Begonia Flowers". The first time He Dongsheng sent Zhou Yishu to Zhou Yishu was in December 2010. In the winter of her freshman year, a novel called "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" was mailed to her school from a bookstore in Qingcheng. That was before they were officially together. He didn't sign his name, so she guessed for a long time. Later, in the postscript of the book, someone asked Zhou Yi if the book was given by He Dongsheng. She did not answer directly, but said one sentence: "In Brooklyn, New York, there is a tree growing, some people call it the tree of heaven. No matter where its seeds fall, a tree will grow, facing the sky, and trying to grow." She said: "But I didn't understand at that time." So while reading this book, I kept thinking about Zhou Yi. Francie Nolan lives in the slums of Brooklyn, New York. Her father is an alcoholic, her mother works as a janitor, her brother is one year younger than her, and her family is so poor that she has to share a piece of moldy bread every week. But she sat on the fire escape every night and read by the light of the corridor. One after another, from Shakespeare to Zola, from fairy tales to science. She reads everything, and when she's finished, she goes to the library to change to another book. The sound of turning pages drowned out the quarrels, drinking, and yelling downstairs. In those words, she carved a window for herself, and outside the window was the world outside of Brooklyn. The same goes for Zhou Yi. She lives in a world that has been planned "correctly". Staying up late writing novels, hiding in the corner of the library alone, turning those thoughts that have nowhere to put them into words. She doesn't have a fire escape, but she has an MP3 player, a computer, and a lamp under the quilt. They are all in the only gap they have, desperately growing towards the light. Lucky for Francie, she has a dad. The alcoholic father who died young remembered the school she wanted to attend and secretly filled out the application form for her when no one believed her. Zhou Yi's luck is that she has a grandmother. In the winter of minus 20 degrees in Urumqi, the old lady who accompanied her to the hospital for acupuncture every day, took her to Hongguang Mountain to worship Buddha, and said to Chen Jie on the phone, "If Yiyi likes to write, let her write." They were not the kind of girls who were raised well and cared for. They are the kind who find their own way in the cement ground. But what moved me the most was not just Francie's counterattack. She went to college and became a writer. These are the results. After her father passed away, her mother said to her: "Your grandpa told me that children must have something of their own. We don't have anything valuable at home, but I left one thing for you - you can go to the library to borrow a book every Saturday afternoon." The most valuable thing a janitor mother can give her daughter is a library card. Thinking of the boxes and boxes of books that He Dongsheng gave to Zhou Yi. He was not chasing her, it was like he was saying to her: You can have something of your own. These books are yours, and the words you wrote are also yours. No one can take them away. There is a detail in the book that I always remember. The tree of paradise in France's yard had been cut down three times. Each time, the adults said it was dead. But the next spring, it sprouted again. It can always live again when others think it is dead. Zhou Yi's life is also like this. She seemed to be knocked down all the time, but she also kept standing up. Chun Yu wrote in the postscript of Chapter 40: "The harder life is, the more courage you need to go on. See when God has tested ordinary people? It means you are a hero." Zhou Yi did not feel that he was a hero. She felt fragile, sensitive, pessimistic, and ready to give up. But every time she wanted to give up, she still picked up the pen. Finally, I want to talk about "reading". Francie made her way out of Brooklyn by reading. Zhou Yi found himself through reading and writing. He Dongsheng sent books, sent books, stayed up late with her to revise manuscripts, and loved her in a way that she could understand. In the book "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn", reading is the weapon of the poor and the last resort. But it was this "no alternative" that allowed a slum girl to change her destiny. Zhou Yi's weapons are also reading and writing. She doesn't need He Dongsheng to buy her a bag or lipstick. What she needs is books, boxes after boxes of books that he knows she will like. From "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" to the complete set of translations of "In Search of Lost Time," from the first to the last, he knew how to love her. Francie said something in the book: "Living, struggling, loving our lives, loving all the joys and sorrows that life has to offer, that is a kind of realization. The fullness of life is always there, and everyone can get it." Zhou Yi probably understood it later. She doesn't need to be someone else, she just needs to be like that tree. No matter where it falls, it always looks towards the sky and strives to grow. She wrote it down. She passed the exam. She took the road that was not easy but she loved it. I sincerely admire her and wish her well.

May you always have someone waiting for you and always have someone to love you

I like this story very much. It would be better if I could thank Zhou Yi and He Dongsheng for the extra story.

Begonia will be republished tomorrow, and I am still moved by reading it again. "Maybe one day you don't like to read my stories. It doesn't matter that fate has been reunited and dispersed. Maybe one day I won't write anymore and will say goodbye to everyone properly, because I have to start over and find new stories." I hope you will never lack the courage to start all over again.

May you always have someone waiting for you and always have someone to love you

It's really too good and not easy. I hope they will continue to love each other.

I like it so much! ! ! ! !

I really, really like it. I wrote it a long time ago and I still don't feel uncomfortable when I read it. I really like it. I hope we can all become better versions of ourselves in the future.

I miss Zhou Yi, come back and see her.