Hatred of Life

(The cover was made by a friend. Thanks to them.)

Blurb:

Everyone said my adoptive father was a peerless genius, a chivalrous hero who could wield his sword with a laugh and outshine nobles and immortals alike, lofty and free, with nothing to weigh him down.

He loved all the people of the world, and cherished drinking beneath the moon. He was hailed as the greatest swordsman under heaven.

I hated him more than anything.

I hated that he plucked stars to celebrate my birthday, yet got drunk on a pleasure boat that night, leaving me alone to be tricked and imprisoned for ten years.

I hated that he drank and sang with abandon, yet pretended to be drunk when I hinted at my feelings for him, laughing as he patted my head and called me a poor, miserable child.

I hated that his sword, renowned as the greatest under heaven, could shake the wind and rain and make ghosts weep, yet he killed the man who had imprisoned me for ten years and made me bear his child.

In his eyes, that man was a sinner who deserved to die.

In his eyes, I must have been as filthy as mud.

Later, I fell into depravity and committed countless crimes. The Supreme Buddha cast me into hell, where I could never return to the mortal world.

The countless people I had killed became vengeful ghosts in hell. They dragged me toward the abyss of eternal ice and hellfire.

I was already enveloped in death, beyond saving.

My adoptive father broke through hell with a single sword stroke and pulled me up by the hand, just as he had when we first met in my childhood. His swordlight was like the moon, shining down on us both.

My adoptive father lost the sight in both eyes and had one hand crippled, but he brought me back to the mortal world.

He begged me to live for him. He was even willing to make the whole world his enemy so he could take me as his wife.

On our wedding night, I couldn't bear to let the bright moon fall into the mud, so I switched our wine of union for a potion that would erase our love.

I drank it all in one go. Our love and hatred ended, and when I looked at him again, he was no more than a stranger.

The potion had no effect on my adoptive father. He went mad, using a love curse on me and a vile aphrodisiac on himself, all so I would love him once more.

But all I wanted was to be the child he once saw me as.

Reader's Guide:

1. The heroine really did give birth to a child. The leads only get together after their familial relationship has been dissolved.

2. Very dark, melodramatic, and graphic. Few characters are good people. The heroine is neither a strong, independent woman nor a kind person.

3. The entire plot serves the romance.

4. The ending may be happy, tragic, or open.

5. The main text is written in first person.

Theme: A rare meeting, like golden wind and jade dew.