I'm the Protagonist, You Know, Vongola!

[Current alternate-ending extra drafts: 6,000/50,000]

[Current male love-interest prize pool: 800/590/270/D/690/180/100/R, wonderfully expanding!]

[Previous titles: "I Changed Jobs to Work at My Old Classmate's Company", "Why Did My Old Classmate Get a Land Rover Before Me?", "A Character This Cool Should Have Been Mine", "Does the Evil Eye Have to Fall in Love Too?!?!". For more details, check the featured comments.]

I'm a corporate drone.

An office worker.

...I don't understand why I managed to get an office job after failing my middle school exams either. But I got the job anyway, maybe because I had connections (yeah).

After I spent two years slacking off, the connections that got me in fell apart.

I can't stay here anymore!

Me, an office worker, was forced to quit.

...Finding a job is so hard.

Why is society so harsh, and why do I actually need a job?

Anyway, without my connections, the workplace was too tough. To get a job, I started making things up on my resume: expert hacking skills, assassination, intelligence management, torture and interrogation...

I showed my resume to an online friend, who posted their review: Your chuunibyou still hasn't gotten better.

So what! I still got a job with that resume.

On a damp, rainy day, HR led me down a long corridor, and suddenly I caught sight of a familiar figure passing by.

Th-th-th... Th-that!!!

I pointed at the figure and shouted, “■■■■, you-you-you actually sold your dignity!”

Damn it, dressing that flashy means he's definitely here to be someone's kept man, doesn't it?!

■■■■ turned around and saw me.

His face, unchanged for ten years, twisted with rage. “You still dare show your face in front of me!!!!”

I ditched HR and threw myself into a brawl with him.

Later, when I found out that ■■■■ was the department head, I felt the sky fall.

I wailed: This isn't how it was supposed to go! The old-classmate reunion-and-show-off plot was supposed to be mine! Why did you steal my script? Sob sob sob!

And it got worse.

The company had six departments, and I recognized all six department heads' names.

The company president's name made my vision go black.

I yelled: Is this right?! Weren't you supposed to be a dead-last student?! You used to copy my homework in middle school, so how did you suddenly become a CEO?!

More tragic than not having a Land Rover was seeing your old classmate get one.

Even more tragic than your old classmate getting a Land Rover was having your own labor become a screw in his Land Rover.

Twenty-four-year-old ■■■■ hadn't forgotten his knack for snark: “I feel like this one screw could make the Land Rover explode at any moment.”

I don't care if it explodes. I refuse to recognize this family-run little company! I'm changing jobs!

I shouted as I ran away.

Then I was dragged back and had a ring put on my finger.

Me: Isn't bigamy illegal?

The answer: We're a mafia, after all. So what if we break the marriage laws?

Me: ...Mafia?

“...Ah, so the secret's out.”

The black-haired young man laughed brightly. “But it's too late for you to run away now, Mel.”

Me: How can anyone's chuunibyou be worse than mine?

A character this cool should obviously have been mine too!!! (shouting again)

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At fourteen, he was sent to the future by a bazooka from ten years ahead.

During those brief five minutes, he confirmed that his future self had close companions, a career he was devoted to, and a lover he was in love with.

From that day onward, he looked forward to becoming his future self.

He didn't know that his future self had been handed a second-chance romance plot.

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The main story is told in third person.

The heroine is a hopeless chuunibyou (probably), an extremely self-centered character who may do very impolite things (probably) and has a rather questionable sense of morality (definitely). I can't guarantee that everyone will like her, and I don't expect that either. If you can't accept it, click the top-left corner to leave.

All pairings. The heroine is the center of a harem. The “he” above refers to all the male love interests. “■■■■” is a male love interest whose name can't appear in the blurb.

The number of male love-interest spots in the first section will increase as the author adds more drafts.

There are five cents' worth of Bungo Stray Dogs setting, but no Bungo Stray Dogs plot.

Guys, things have changed. There are five bucks' worth of Bungo Stray Dogs setting, but no Bungo Stray Dogs plot.

A work of personal taste, with a lethal amount of original settings and characters. It barely follows the original plot. Half romance, half plot. Click and enjoy my version of the Vongola ten years later (yeah!)

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The reason I don't respond to long comments is blackpink: I'm afraid I'll spoil too much if I say more.

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