Hello, Seafood Isn't Allowed Ashore

[Plot-Driven] [Nonhuman] [Reunion]

What does a fish look like?

When Cheng Lechu was four, he found the answer for the first time in his little sister's abandoned fish tank.

A tank of murky water, flecked with floating bits of flesh. A half-rotten goldfish carcass drifted on the surface. Its single eye was round and empty. In death, it showed no fear of dying; in life, no desire to live.

The second time was at the market.

On the filthy stone floor, Cheng Lechu found a little crucian carp crushed flat. In the tank beside it, its kind crowded together, opening and closing their mouths. Outside the tank, it lay in a puddle of murky water tangled with fish scales and innards, dead with its eyes open.

Later, marine life came ashore, and the land became a place shared by humans and fish. Cheng Lechu went to the ocean, into a hole in the ice, and found the answer a third time, wrapped in the embrace of tentacles belonging to a strange creature.

Though that thing didn't exactly seem like a fish.

A many-toothed nonhuman with two faces, one in public and another in private, tops × a beautiful, pain-loving, flirtatious dentist bottom

Standard Synopsis

Due to widespread ocean pollution, marine life began to mutate of its own accord and chose to come ashore.

This is a thoroughly absurd world:

A sunfish that abstains from meat and prays to Buddha, but feeds meat to chickens

An anglerfish determined to build a business around hot-pot stews

A blobfish still hoping to make a comeback through its looks

The Land-Sea Harmony Administration was a temporary agency established by the state in response to the rapid growth of marine industries.

Cheng Lechu is one of its most accomplished members.

Nonhuman A: My kid's mutation was incomplete. He always walked with his back hunched. It was Team Leader Cheng who told me kids don't have waists, which finally put my mind at ease.

Nonhuman B: After coming ashore, I lost a lot of weight because my salary was too low to afford food. Thanks to Team Leader Cheng, I got a part-time job at a nearby fishing pond. Now the anglers have fattened me up by more than ten pounds with their chum.

Nonhuman C: My wife and I used to argue all the time. When Team Leader Cheng found out, he sent me half a truckload of marine fish porn... Ah, sorry, I didn't know I wasn't supposed to say that. Anyway, we're very much in love now. Thanks, Team Leader Cheng!

At Team Leader Cheng's feet, a translucent jelly creature, with combat strength so high it has no upper limit, but whose class and order are unknown and so cannot be categorized, slowly tilted its head. "Hmm?"

It seemed to have heard something incredible.

On a rainy night, little Jelly caught Cheng Lechu in bed with someone else. The other lead, whose slick tentacles were on the bed, was kicked roughly aside. Cheng gasped for breath, feeling guilty under the gaze of the nonhuman by the door.

Little Jelly: "Eep."

"First of all," Cheng Lechu declared, "he's the same kind of nonhuman as you."

"Second, we didn't do anything."

"And finally, a human and a nonhuman could never be together!"

The other lead in bed opened his eyes at that. "Eep."

"..."

Afterword:

Since taking this job, Cheng Lechu has helped people whenever he meets them and helped fish whenever he sees them. Thanks to his own hard work, he gained powerful connections on both land and sea. People in the know call him the two-worlds' well-connected insider.

One-line pitch: After stopping seafood from coming ashore, Cheng Lechu made his living thanks to seafood coming ashore.

Reader's Guide:

1. The setting and all worldbuilding in this story are fictional.

2. At first, the nonhuman is a cute, goofy fish in its incomplete form. In its complete form, it's a charming, worldly man.

3. The bottom has a mental illness, loves pain, and is adored by all fish. There will be some feminization, but I'll try to keep it restrained. His little head sometimes has a mind of its own.

4. If you drop the story, no need to tell me. Please be polite and friendly, and no unsolicited writing advice.

5. Both leads are sexually inexperienced. Hope you enjoy the story!

Upcoming Story

Does Rural Romance Have to Involve Ghosts?

Chen Yu had been in poor health since childhood, and could sometimes see things other people couldn't.

The year he got into college, his parents died in a car accident. As soon as his aunt heard the news, she rushed over from the countryside that very night to take him in. "Xiaoyu, come with your aunt. I'll take care of you."

Chen Yu agreed, but once he got to the village, he hadn't harvested any grain or caught any fish. Instead, he set his sights on the man who lived in the house beneath the old locust tree at the village entrance.

The man was a little strange. On rainy, overcast days, black smoke seemed to rise from his whole body.

His aunt introduced him. "This is Chen Ziji. He's older than you, and he used to be a college student too. You should call him Big Brother."

Chen Yu admired Chen Ziji's handsome, sculpted muscles, then looked down at himself and called out awkwardly, "Big Brother."

Chen Ziji stubbed out his cigarette and asked, "Chen Yu, as in the 'sinking fish' of 'so beautiful the fish sink and the geese fall'?"

As time passed, Chen Yu found himself calling him "Big Brother" more and more naturally.

"Big Brother, how do I thresh the grain? I don't know how. Help me."

"Big Brother, everyone's catching cicadas. I don't know how. Help me."

"Big Brother, there are fish in the water. I can't catch them. Help me."

"Big Brother..."

Though Chen Ziji had always found weak, useless men unbearable, he couldn't help feeling half his body go weak every time Chen Yu called him Big Brother. He hid behind the wall and smoked three cigarettes, then turned and asked, "Chen Yu, have you ever been in love?"

Chen Yu shook his head.

Chen Ziji said, "That's all right. You don't know how. Big Brother will teach you."

Chen Yu thought Chen Ziji was perfect in every way. Sure, the black smoke that appeared around him on overcast days didn't look very environmentally friendly, but that didn't bother him, until he saw a gravestone bearing the name "Chen Ziji" on the back hill.

That night, Chen Yu had nightmares until morning. The next day, he was about to run away when Chen Ziji caught him.

A little afraid, Chen Yu said, "Big Brother, people in the village don't approve of two men being together."

Chen Ziji didn't question him. He smoked two cigarettes and replied, "Big Brother will take you away."

They would leave, certainly. It was just a question of whether the living were allowed to stay wherever they went.

A sickly bottom × a grown man from the countryside

Also known as The Chen Family Village Love Story

Reader's Guide:

1. Set in the early 2000s. Older man/younger man romance with an age gap.

2. Both leads are sexually inexperienced.

3. The story is a little weird and eerie.

Theme: Protect the marine environment