The Great One's Strange Tales

My other novel, Hello, Seafood, You Can't Come Ashore, is now available!

Chinese folk customs and the supernatural, mystery and exploration, plot-driven

Have you heard of spirit mediums who host incense rituals?

People call it offering sacrifices to immortals or spirit dancing. Fox, weasel, hedgehog, and snake spirits possess human bodies, handle affairs of the underworld, and forge ties in the mortal world.

Lu You is a spirit medium who hosts these rituals.

The King Wen drum, the spirit-summoning whip, three sticks of incense worth ten thousand coins.

Lu You relied on those three sticks of incense, nurturing himself little by little until he grew up.

He always said his path in life was set: "I'll complete the seven tasks they've given me, see the immortals off, and then die when I turn thirty."

Who knew an unexpected twist would come just before his death?

The Yellow Immortal stood there with a cheeky grin. "Hey, have you ever been in love?"

Lu You looked up. "...?"

The Yellow Immortal continued, still smiling. "Have you ever dated a man?"

Lu You: "...?!"

At Chengchun University, where a little path in front of the gates was strewn with falling golden rain tree blossoms, someone stood there. He was very tall, his hair cut short and neat. A fierce storm raged behind him, and Lu You stood before him.

After a long silence, Lu You asked, "Want to give it a try?"

He Zhu Chun smiled and replied, "I'm not gay."

The Yellow Immortal had said it then: He would be soon.

A cold-faced but occasionally whiny spirit-medium bottom ✖️ a whiny but somewhat fake, emotionally guarded top

Two men together, twice the fun!

Reader's guide: 1. The bottom is named Lu You.

2. The author is sensitive, so please don't say anything harsh.

3. The folk customs mentioned in this story are basically reliable.

4. Whether we come or go, it's fate. Cultivate yourself and mind your words, and let's make this a better reading environment~

5. The top falls first, the top falls first, the top falls first!!!

6. The author has a doting, motherly disposition and may sometimes lose control of their inner thoughts. Please forgive me!

What does a fish look like?

When Cheng Lechu was four, he found the answer for the first time in his younger sister's discarded fish tank.

A tank of murky water, floating scraps of flesh, and the half-rotten body of a goldfish drifting on the surface. Its single eye was round and hollow. In death, it showed no fear of dying; in life, no desire to live.

The second time was at a market.

Cheng Lechu found a little crucian carp crushed on the dirty concrete floor. In the pool beside it, its kind crowded together, their mouths opening and closing. Outside the pool, the fish lay dead in a muddy puddle of scales and entrails, eyes still open.

Later, marine life came ashore, and land became a place shared by humans and fish. Cheng Lechu went to the ocean and found the answer a third time, in an ice hole and among the tentacles of an otherworldly creature embracing him all over.

Though that thing didn't seem to count as a fish.

Two-faced, sharp-toothed, otherworldly top × highly intelligent, beautiful, pain-loving dentist bottom

Standard Synopsis

Due to widespread ocean pollution, marine life mutated spontaneously and chose to come ashore.

It was a very absurd world:

A sunfish that prayed and abstained from meat while feeding meat to chickens

An anglerfish determined to run a hotpot restaurant

A blobfish always trying to make a comeback through its looks

The Land and Sea Harmonious Management Bureau was a temporary agency set up by the government to deal with the rapid growth of marine industries.

Cheng Lechu was one of its most accomplished members.

Otherworldly Creature A: My kid's mutation was incomplete, so they always hunched over when walking. Captain Cheng was the one who told me that children don't have waists, which put my mind at ease.

Otherworldly Creature B: After coming ashore, I lost a lot of weight because my pay was so low. Thankfully, Captain Cheng found me a part-time job at a nearby fishing pond. Now the fishing guys keep feeding me bait, and I've put on more than ten pounds.

Otherworldly Creature C: My wife and I argue all the time. When Captain Cheng found out, he sent me half a truckload of fish porn... Ah, sorry, I didn't know I wasn't allowed to say that. Anyway, we're very much in love now. Thanks, Captain Cheng!

At Captain Cheng's feet, a semi-transparent jelly with unlimited combat power, a deep-sea creature whose class and order were unknown and which defied classification, slowly tilted its head. "Hmm?"

It seemed to have heard something it shouldn't have.

On a rainy night, Cheng Lechu felt the electric thrill of the wounds covering his body and let out a ragged breath, as if he couldn't take it anymore.

A slick tentacle was kicked sharply aside.

"Humans and otherworldly creatures can't do this!"

Afterword:

Since taking this job, Cheng Lechu has helped every person he met and every fish he saw. Through his own efforts, he gained powerful connections in both the land and sea realms, earning him the nickname: the two-worlds' well-connected insider.

One-line summary: After Cheng Lechu stopped seafood from coming ashore, he made it ashore thanks to seafood.

Reader's guide: 1. The setting and all details in this story are fictional.

2. In its early stages, the otherworldly creature is a silly, adorable fish; in its complete form, it's a shamelessly seductive, mature man.

3. The bottom has a mental illness, loves pain, and is adored by every fish. The author may get a little doting, but will try to restrain themself. Sometimes their inner thoughts get out of control.

Theme: Believe in science