I'm Going to Kill Myself [Fake Narcissism]

[1v1] [Both Pure] [Mutual Salvation] [Pseudo-Narcissus]

I'm going to kill myself on a beautiful, sunny day.

Su An had always been a bit dim.

When other people slaughtered chickens, he'd cover their necks. When other people put a leash on a dog, he'd go around barking.

The adults all said that fools were blessed, and that the boy might not amount to much when he grew up, but at least he wouldn't die young.

Because he was so healthy.

A dose of medicine that could knock out a bull couldn't even make Su An drowsy.

Su Ya had always been clever.

In ancient times, he'd have been a prodigy. In the modern world, his name would surely be on the rich list.

The elders of the family all said that having a child like him was like having the God of Wealth reincarnated into the Su family.

But Su Ya was frail, and stayed alive only thanks to constant medication.

His doctor predicted he wouldn't live past twenty-five.

And this year, he was twenty-four.

Su Ya lay in bed, quietly waiting for midnight to strike, ushering in his twenty-fifth birthday and his death.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in the dark, face-to-face with a pair of puppy-dog eyes.

Su An froze for a moment, then curled his lips into a grin, showing a row of white teeth. "Are you the lover Heaven sent me?"

Su Ya: ?

In this completely unfamiliar world, Su Ya finally understood: this big fool in front of him was himself from another timeline.

A temporal mix-up had given him most of Su An's intelligence, while Su An had taken his healthy body.

So all I have to do is kill "myself"...

Then "I" will cease to exist, and I'll get a new lease on life.

Su An wasn't very smart.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't figure out why his lover was growing thinner by the day, or why he was powerless to do anything about it.

He sat by the bed all night, watching the darkness fade and the sunlight fall.

Another beautiful, sunny day.

At last, Su An's muddled brain worked it out. He murmured, "I'm going to kill myself."

Su Ya was frail.

He couldn't walk very far.

But when he saw his lover lying in a pool of blood, and felt his own strength gradually returning, he chose to carry that limp body on his back, asking only that Su An not die.

"I want you to live."

"I want... me to die..."

The story has a lighthearted tone. Most of it is about the gong racking his brains to kill the shou, only to fail every time and even get outmaneuvered.

Content warnings:

1. Frail but clever gong x dim-witted but very healthy shou

2. The gong will get better, and the shou will become smarter. No sex scenes.

3. Early on, the gong is determined to kill the shou (he really means it). Pure hatred.

4. It's a short story, so there's little sweet romance. The focus is on their early push-and-pull and their mutual salvation later on.

2025/12/15

Theme: Before death comes, there are the eyes of the one you love.