[Football] Mourinho! Open Up! Here's Your Baby!

The Mourinho version:

Mourinho prayed to the heavens, "Please send me a big striker!"

The heavens replied, "No problem!"

A bolt of lightning struck someone right out of a space-time wormhole and sent him tumbling down.

The heavens said, "Look! He's free, too!"

And so Mourinho found himself a free adopted son on his drive home.

Of course, he wasn't really his son.

The Keke version:

System Oversight: So you thought you could exploit a loophole in the System? Now it's your turn to work!

Keke: ...

System Oversight: Your mission is to support the London team Arsenal and end their trophy drought!

Keke: No problem!

But he spoke too soon. A glitch in the System's transfer process erased some of his memories and sent him to the wrong place.

And so...

Mourinho: What is this thing? Let's pick it up and see.

Wenger, on another street: I feel like something that belongs to me has gone missing.

Keke: Ah! What was my mission again? Something about helping a London team win a trophy? I'm not sure. Better ask. Is this a London team? Oh, right, it is. Chelsea!

Theme: The love of those who raise you matters, too