The Apocalypse, but with a Bizarre Blind Box System

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[Cold, aloof, insecure, mute top x hot-tempered, talkative, crybaby bottom]

Three days ago, a strange apocalypse descended. Humans awakened supernatural abilities and fought desperately to resist the disasters, while Lu Xingrong... got bound to a blind-box System.

No, it should be called a ridiculous, screwed-up blind-box System.

Other people's Systems let them do missions to earn points and trade them for items. Lu Xingrong's System only required him to pay with his face.

That's right, the skin on his face.

*

On the first day after binding the System, his mission was to go to Times Square and dance the Seaweed Dance.

Figuring he might as well use his golden finger, and that supplies for surviving the apocalypse were the most important thing, Lu Xingrong decided that a silly Seaweed Dance was nothing. He'd do it!

Mission complete, blind box in hand, Lu Xingrong waited expectantly and got an unlimited supply of toilet paper.

Lu Xingrong: "Are you nuts? What am I supposed to do with all this toilet paper?"

*

On the second day after binding the System, his mission was to sneak into the Strange Temple and steal the Strange King's underwear.

Believing that blind boxes had both good and bad rewards, and that after hardship would come sweetness, surely today's box would give him something good. It was only a matter of stealing underwear. He'd do it!

Mission complete, blind box in hand, Lu Xingrong waited expectantly and got an unlimited supply of plastic bags.

Lu Xingrong: "001! Are you messing with me? What am I supposed to do with all these plastic bags? Put one over my head and suffocate myself?"

*

Lu Xingrong firmly believed that he wouldn't be unlucky forever and that his golden finger wouldn't keep screwing him over. But then...

On the third day, split-crotch pants; on the fourth, a sticky mouse trap; on the fifth, expired milk; on the sixth, a phone dummy...

After being fooled again and again, Lu Xingrong was furious, reached his limit, and let loose a stream of curses.

Lu Xingrong: "001, be honest. Did you run a delivery station before becoming a System? Why have you got a pile of expired junk?"

001: It's a blind box, a real blind box. I have nothing to do with it.

*

On the tenth day after binding the System, it issued his mission right on time, and Lu Xingrong threw in the towel.

001: Don't panic. There's a guaranteed reward. Today's box is sure to have something great!

Lu Xingrong: "I'll believe you one last time."

After losing every last bit of dignity, he opened the blind box, and a strange creature sprang right at him.

Lu Xingrong ran for his life in a panic: "001! If I believe you again, I'm a dog!"

*

The guaranteed reward really was guaranteed. Though it was a strange creature, it had been summoned by contract to become his lackey.

Even if he was unwilling, the contract forced him to obey Lu Xingrong's every command. The cold, handsome underling even washed his underwear with a stony expression. Lu Xingrong gave this one four stars.

Why only four stars? Because the strange underling summoned by contract was just a weak, low-rank creature!

A tide of strange creatures descended. Mid- and high-rank creatures roared as they charged toward the two of them, while the weakling underling stood frozen in place, terrified and unable to move.

You don't abandon an old servant just because times are hard. Lu Xingrong picked up the strange creature and ran for his life.

The creatures behind them stared, dumbfounded, and asked a question that came from the depths of their souls: "Why did Madam pick up Lord and run when she saw us?"

One high-rank creature leading the group said, "Lord Strange King must have his reasons."

Another high-rank creature leading the group said, "Madam didn't forget to take Lord along even while running away. She really does love him!"

*

Little skit:

What Cheng Shoumo is really thinking: I scared my wife away when we first met. This identity as Strange King... I can't say it, I can't say it. What if I tell her and scare her off?

Lu Xingrong, who really knows someone's identity as the Strange King: You should've told me sooner, damn it! You scared me so badly I ran every time I saw a strange creature. No wonder I've been running into strange tides lately. So this was your doing!

[PS. 1. One-on-one, both virgins. A very cute height difference: 195 x 174. A sweet, silly romance!

2. The top isn't really mute. After becoming a strange creature, his vocal cords stiffened and his voice became unpleasant, and he wasn't much of a talker to begin with. (Unless he gets pushed too far, but ever since getting together with the bottom, there hasn't been a day when he hasn't been pushed too far.)

3. The bottom isn't really a crybaby. He has a tendency to cry easily, but nine times out of ten he's faking it. (The hallmark of a fake cry: very loud wailing.)]

Theme: Be happy every day!