I Rose to the Highest Ranks on the Strength of My Cursed Tongue

Chu Su has transmigrated, and become the state preceptor of the Yan dynasty, a fraudulent fortune-teller even better at bluffing than she is.

The newly enthroned emperor resents the original owner's role in feeding slander to the late emperor, nearly getting him killed. Now he wants to settle old scores and is looking for an excuse to have her executed.

Chu Su: A disastrous start.

But even she doesn't know that she hasn't just transmigrated. She's also gained the ability to jinx things: whatever she says, whether good or bad, will come true.

-

One day, at court, the nineteen-year-old emperor sat on the dais and called her out in front of all the officials, ready to use her as an example. "My lady, Yingzhou has suffered months of drought. When will it rain?"

Chu Su: "..." How should I know?

The emperor said coldly, "Think carefully. Give the wrong answer and you'll lose your head."

She had no choice but to use the little divination she'd learned from her grandfather to cast a rudimentary hexagram, then start making things up. "Your Majesty, according to the hexagram, it will rain in Yingzhou in seven days, and the rain will continue for a month. It will soak the land and cause flooding, so preparations must be made in advance."

The emperor gave her a meaningful look. "Then I shall wait another seven days."

After court, Chu Su packed up the gold and silver and prepared to flee, but the guards blocked the entire estate, ready to execute her seven days later.

Chu Su was so terrified she was ready to hang herself with a white silk cord to avoid a worse death.

Seven days later, it really did rain in Yingzhou.

Chu Su: "Huh?"

The emperor thought she was just lucky, but if the rain didn't stop after a month, he'd have her executed all the same.

A month later, the rain stopped.

The new emperor: "..."

He wouldn't believe she could keep getting lucky every time.

So the new emperor began making Chu Su tell fortunes in court every day, hoping to catch her making a mistake. But every time, even though she seemed to be spouting nonsense, her words all came true.

The emperor was completely at a loss. "If I'd known you were really capable, I wouldn't have wasted my effort."

Chu Su: "..."

She really wasn't capable at all.

-

Later, Chu Su discovered her ability to jinx things, too. When something was certain to happen, she could say it aloud and turn a major disaster into a minor one, or a minor one into nothing at all.

When the Imperial Astronomical Bureau predicted a devastating earthquake in Xiangcheng, she advised, "There will be an earthquake, but no one will be hurt."

When the bureau predicted a river dragon's rampage on the Huai River, she said offhandedly, "The flood will recede in a day."

"..."

Her words were so utterly ridiculous and unsupported that the officials glared at her furiously.

But in the end, everything she said came true.

What could they do? They could only admit that such a mysterious figure was right.

Seeing his officials suffer the same face-slapping as he had made the emperor feel better. So he wasn't the only one getting proven wrong!

-

One moonlit night, the emperor stood before a portrait of Chu Su and found himself thinking of the animated way she spoke. His heart stirred, and he thought resentfully: Someone this capable can't be killed for revenge. Then I'll marry her instead. That will be humiliating enough.

So the next day in court, he asked his officials, "The throne is without an empress. I wish to make the state preceptor my empress. What do you think?"

The officials all fell to their knees and cried, "Your Majesty, absolutely not! The state preceptor is far too important. How could she serve Your Majesty?"

Liu Yu: "?"

The state preceptor is important, but I'm not? Have you all lost your minds?

So, gritting his teeth, he said, "Fine. She's far too important, so I'll serve her instead!"

Chu Su was utterly bewildered. What is wrong with this stupid emperor? He used to threaten to kill me, and now he wants to marry me. Has he lost his mind?

-

Both are sexually inexperienced, 1v1.

Theme: Be a little kinder to yourself.