Please, Just Shut Up Already

I became an immortal, then got banished to the mortal realm on my very first day.

I guess I was just unlucky.

Here's what happened: The day I became an immortal was also the Heavenly Emperor's ten-thousandth birthday. The heavens held a grand banquet to celebrate, and all the immortals gathered in high spirits. At the banquet, each immortal took turns raising a toast to wish the Heavenly Emperor a happy birthday. Since I was the last immortal to ascend, arriving just one second before the feast began, I naturally ended up at the very end of the line.

That was the problem.

Every immortal in the heavens was ahead of me. That was tens of thousands of people!

They'd used up every possible birthday blessing!!!

When my turn finally came, I drew on every bit of life experience I had, but I still couldn't think of a single auspicious phrase that hadn't already been said.

So, under the gaze of every immortal in the heavens, I raised my cup and pondered for a long time. At last, I sincerely offered the Heavenly Emperor my heartfelt blessing:

"May you always have smooth bowel movements."

And that's how I got banished to the mortal realm by the Heavenly Emperor on my very first day as an immortal.

CP: A mentally unstable, lovesick, chronically ill top who proves his Dao by killing himself x an ultimate egoist bottom who uses his personal charm to offend the entire world

Reading Guide:

1. Teacher-disciple romance, with the disciple as the top and the teacher as the bottom.

2. Mostly comedy, with a little angst.

3. The protagonist is an eloquent immortal lord who earns the hatred of all three realms through his own merit (not a secretly beloved-by-everyone character).

4. But he's a fox, so forgive him for not speaking like a person.

Theme: Say what you want, and leave everyone else speechless.