HP: The Founders Forced to Become Gods

The history people know goes like this: Four founders created Hogwarts, each becoming the first head of their own house. But when their ideals clashed, Salazar left first, followed by Godric, then Rowena, and finally Helga. Abandoned by their heads of house, the students missed them even as they learned to fend for themselves, passing Hogwarts down from one generation to the next. Their resentment and hopes endured for a thousand years, finally summoning the founders of old back to them. Main pairing, switch: Salazar x Godric Secondary pairing, switch: Rowena x Helga A bold warning: This story updates once a year, once a year! Unless something unexpected happens, updates will come every December. Little angels, please keep going along with the author! 261254851, group name: "I solemnly swear I will never nag for updates." Little angels who want to check whether the author is still alive are welcome to join, but even if the author is alive, updates still only come in December!!! --The new story I'm currently focusing on is I'm Dead, Not Abandoning You. I'm posting it everywhere anyway, and there are other completed stories on my homepage for you to enjoy-- Pairing: Tyrant top, with a big or little head randomly taking on the thinking, x half-dead but still energetic enough to tell dark jokes, divine lord bottom Many years ago, I didn't believe in ghosts or gods. So when the tyrant I had raised pressed me onto the altar halfway through the ceremony to worship heaven and threatened me with an imperial edict for disaster relief unless I did it with him, I didn't resist. Later, I died. The day after my death, I stood beneath the city gate tower, staring at my own corpse hanging from it, and thought mournfully: What a blunder. Turns out ghosts really do exist. If I'd known, I wouldn't have agreed to do it with him in the Hall of Imperial Ancestors. How embarrassing if the imperial ancestors saw us. But on second thought, they aren't my ancestors... Uh. Well, I do feel a little guilty!!! Later, my butt earned ascension for stopping the tyrant from wreaking havoc on the world. And since my butt was an inseparable part of me, I ascended too. On the day I ascended, the tyrant set fire to the great hall and killed himself. His body was never found. The Vermilion Bird Divine Lord asked me, "Lin Chun Gong, what are your thoughts on this?" Me: "I have plenty of thoughts, but first of all, my name is not Lin Chun Gong." I am Lin Xiu Li, the Divine Lord of Quehua. I never failed the late emperor's trust, nor disappointed the people who placed their hopes in me. My one regret is that I didn't get to see the little beast I raised before I died, to tell him: Actually... I've fucking put up with you for a long time!!! Of course, if you promise to stop biting my belt, tearing my clothes, and gnawing on my ankles, and agree to let me kick you eighteen times, chop you into minced meat, then stuff you in a wok and fry you into dog-meat glutinous rice balls, I'm still willing to keep raising you. Reader's Guide: 1. Past life: mad beagle tyrant top x upright, long-suffering imperial tutor bottom. Warning: melodramatic angst and a viciously tragic ending. 2. The plot and flashbacks alternate throughout, so it starts slowly. 3. The story is told in first person. The flashbacks may include a little third-person narration. 4. Contains lots of dark humor, 1111 Theme: If you can't follow the rules, make your own.