[Lord of the Mysteries] And Surviving by Relying on Deadweight

The universe is vast. The Old Ones are as insignificant as grains of sand. Most of the time, It drifted alone through the universe, searching for planets to devour. Only occasionally did It encounter other wanderers. They might cooperate or fight, sometimes doing both at once. As It pursued or was pursued, It passed many planets. Those beautiful or ugly celestial bodies left scattered traces in Its long memory. While waiting for Its spores to mature, It would think of them and place them in Its dreams. But It could not remember their colors, so those stars were made only of gray-white stone, turning quietly in Its dreams, unchanged for hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of years. Back then, It did not yet understand what it meant to do this. Warning: an Outer God with an original pathway Update, April 20, 2022: First of all, dear readers, the poisonous mushroom section of Part One is finished, so you can read it without worry. Secondly, I’m sorry. I spent a very, very long time trying to unlock the first chapter of Part Two, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t delete that chapter either. I really can’t mushroom anymore, so this story ends with Part One. If the stars align, I’ll start Part Two as a separate book. In any case, thank you for loving the little jellyfish mushroom~ The story I’m currently updating is I Just Died, I Didn’t Abandon You. It’s got absurd comedy, melodrama, and dark humor. Come on over and take a bite CP: Tyrant gong whose big head or little head takes turns doing the thinking × half-dead junshen shou who still has enough energy to tell dark jokes Many years ago, I didn’t believe ghosts and gods really existed. So when the tyrant I’d raised from childhood pinned me to the sacrificial altar halfway through a ceremony to worship Heaven, then used an imperial edict for disaster relief to threaten me into having sex with him, I didn’t resist. Later, I died. The day after I died, I stood beneath the city gate tower, looking up at my corpse hanging from it, and thought gloomily: I miscalculated. So ghosts really do exist in this world. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have agreed to have sex with him in the Hall of Imperial Ancestors last time. It would’ve been so embarrassing if the ancestors had seen us. But, thinking about it carefully, they aren’t my ancestors… Uh. Well, still, I feel a little guilty!!! Later, my butt ascended to godhood for its heroic contribution to stopping the tyrant from wreaking havoc across the world. Since my butt is an inseparable part of me, I ascended along with it. On the day I ascended, the tyrant set fire to the palace hall and killed himself. Not a trace of his remains was left. Vermilion Bird Junshen asked me, “Lin Chun Gong, what are your thoughts on this?” Me: I have plenty of thoughts, but first of all, my name really isn’t Lin Chun Gong. I am Quehua Junshen Lin Xiuli. I have never betrayed the late emperor’s trust or failed the people’s hopes. My one regret is that I didn’t get to see the little beast I raised before I died, and tell him, “Actually… I’ve fucking put up with you for long enough!!!” Of course, if you promise never again to bite my belt, tear my clothes, or gnaw on my ankles, and agree to let me kick you eighteen times, chop you into mincemeat, then stuff you into a pot of oil and fry you into dog-meat tangyuan, I’m still willing to raise you. Reading guide: 1. In his previous life: a deranged beagle tyrant gong × an upright, patient imperial tutor shou. Warning: melodrama forged into a big knife. 2. The plot and flashbacks alternate throughout. It’s a slow burn. 3. The story is told in first person, though the flashbacks may include a little third-person narration. 4. Contains a lot of dark humor. 1111 Theme: You will meet someone you can trust