Nine Apertures, Exquisite Heart: I Get Stronger by Going Off the Rails

After being reincarnated as the cultivation world's most famous good-for-nothing, Li Weiyang's coffin lid just won't stay shut. At her funeral, relatives fake-cry while feasting, and she timidly raises a hand. “Um, I might still be salvageable?” Her second uncle is so startled he shoves her third aunt in front of him to fend off the ghost. Everyone laughs at her for having no spiritual root and being a disgrace to her family. Even her fiance tears up their marriage contract in public. But they have no idea that an irascible ancient powerhouse has taken up residence in her heart. “What is this lousy place? The spiritual energy's thinner than a latrine that hasn't been cleaned in three thousand years!” The moment the powerhouse wakes up, he starts cursing. “Heart cultivation? It's the greatest and most dangerous path in the world! If you reveal yourself, they'll cut you open and study you!” To pay her rent, the powerhouse grits his teeth and produces a top-grade ice spiritual root. “Take it! Make it look convincing!” From then on, Li Weiyang keeps a fake spiritual root, her secret identity, in her left hand and guards the nine deadly apertures in her heart with her right, embarking on a split-personality path of cultivation. At the Ascension Ceremony, just as everyone is waiting to laugh at the “good-for-nothing”... The spirit-testing stone explodes. Li Weiyang looks at the fragments strewn across the ground and spreads her hands innocently under everyone's stunned gaze. “I told you... I might be a little special?” What's a spiritual root, anyway? Want one? Just make one by hand. Li Weiyang finds that cultivating is as slow as a constipated person trying to take a dump. Then she discovers the trick to cultivation: going completely bonkers. If she wants to make it big on the path to immortality, she has to suffer in front of everyone. So, for the sake of cultivation, she chooses to go nuts anytime, anywhere, and send everyone flying without discrimination. [This story features a dramatic heroine who just wants to stay alive but keeps getting forced to go bonkers.]