I Have a Flock of Bizarre Players

[Comedy Version] “Things Ghost Tamers don’t dare do, we paranormal players do!” “Things evil spirits don’t dare do, we paranormal players dare to do!” “What’s our motto?” “Catch Ghost Tamers on sight, eat evil spirits on sight, and feast whenever we run into something paranormal!” “Totally wrong! Say it!” “Contain evil spirits, contain the paranormal, support the Xuanhuang Church, and support our cyber godfather, Lord Yanguan! Let the light of the Xuanhuang Church shine across the paranormal world!” “That’s right! We don’t believe in fearing the paranormal, because we are the paranormal!” “Starting today, I’m not human anymore!” “Quit yapping... Get online right now. I heard a new paranormal NPC just showed up. It’s wearing a red wedding dress with a red veil over its head!” “Lift it, lift it, lift her veil...” “Holy crap, how did I die?!” [Hard Luck Version] Jiang Shu was kidnapped into the paranormal world by a little girl in red and somehow became a mom... The good news: she got a paranormal castle from the start. The bad news: the castle is in a paranormal-occupied zone. Even worse, she’s bound to the castle, and there’s a real paranormal entity inside, watching her like it’s ready to eat her. An ordinary high school graduate, Jiang Shu is forced to activate the Fourth Calamity System. From that day on, the paranormal world faced a true [paranormal calamity]. “You say you’re paranormal? Then what does that make this whole crowd of players of mine?”