Hogwarts: Starting with U.S. Military CQB

Keywords: Tactical combat, physical magic, chemical magic, ruthless decisiveness, fun-loving protagonist

Snape thought he was just going to a slum in Osaka to collect an overage witch. He never expected to find a nearly six-foot-tall, bloodstained-baton-wielding former U.S. Marine who could beat the Yakuza of the Sanno-kai so badly they wet themselves.

"Do you have a wand at least twenty-seven inches long, one that can smash a skull even if it can't cast magic?"

"These are a Magnum and a Colt. If they misbehave, snap them in half."

"A History of Magic textbook and a chain of iron make the perfect tactical flail."

"Use Mandrakes as claymore mines, Devil's Snare as a net trap, and Venomous Tentacula wrapped in barbed wire as a close-defense cannon with a restricted firing arc."

"High-concentration napalm plus the first-year Levitation Charm: welcome to Hogwarts' French barbecue restaurant."

When Voldemort returns, leading an army of Dementors to surround Hogwarts and shouting about the glory of pure blood, she draws her wand and sweeps it through the air:

"Expecto Patronum!"

The clouds split apart with a roar, and a huge silver AC-130 gunship banks overhead, its 105-millimeter howitzer aimed at the ground below.

"The name's Ju Xuefeng. I'm a former Marine. Today, I'll teach you what close air support means!"