I Have a Demon

After reading two chapters, I started to describe the same outline as the miko and the voice actor. There are many inexplicable places. Just like before, Crow can't write about battles or different worlds. For example, the consequences of the battle are not written at all. In Miko, the villain is fighting in the town. It is huge and many houses are destroyed, but there are no descriptions of civilians. It is as if as long as the fight starts, it enters the beta realm. There is no need to worry about hurting innocent people, both during the fight and after the fight. There are no cries from the people. There is no "real" flavor at all. The protagonist of this book was stabbed, but there were no consequences at all, leaving the reader with a lot of thoughts by default.

This book was okay before the team was formed, but really boring after the team was formed. It is true that the core of light novels is lightweight, but I think it should not be superficial. This book is about 100,000 words long. The overall feeling I have is that the danger is not dangerous, the harvest is not good, and the pretty people are not pretty. Below I will analyze my personal opinions from the aspects of setting and plot arrangement. I also welcome all book friends to discuss it in a friendly way. 1. Plot arrangement The rhythm of the current plot is too peaceful. I can almost memorize the next book - fighting monsters - crisis - surviving - harvest - the male and female protagonists flirting. But this does not mean that this methodology is not good, it tests basic skills! The sense of danger is like shooting someone with an arrow. It requires effort to draw the bow and aim to achieve the effect. This book is also short and fast. Let me take "I Level Up Alone" as an example. How to describe its monsters? First of all, it must have a sense of oppression when it appears, with a terrifying and evil appearance, and it must be harmful. Small monsters can hurt people and kill people, and big monsters can AOE in a large area. The weak will run away, and the strong will also worry and fear, so that readers can fully feel that the monster is terrifying, will be hurt, and is "worthy" of attacking and killing it. Where is this book? I have written almost 100,000 words, most of which are about fighting goblins, slimes, cats, rabbits, fish, and skeletons and mummies - what I know is that the dungeon team doesn't know, but they think it is reactionary protection. The narration introduction is just to give the reader an impression. The monster's strength depends on human lives and "actual injuries". The important mini-boss should be prepared early. Instead of the monster coming out in the first chapter, the characters in the second chapter are running away with their heads in their arms, almost unable to hold on. In the third chapter, the character immediately explodes and solves the problem. He drinks a bottle of medicine, or even just steps forward without taking any medicine! A crisis is not called a crisis when it is written, but when readers feel it. The crisis in this book is like telling the readers clearly, "Look, this arrow is very sharp and dangerous!", Then throwing down the bow and throwing it with his hand. The thunder is not loud and the raindrops are even smaller. Rewards, as the most important positive feedback for this book, are written in a mess. When does money reflect its value to readers? Only when you spend it can the value be realized. When does equipment reflect value to readers? Comparison reflects value. Let's take money as an example. As the source of motivation for the protagonist of this book, money is tens of thousands of dollars, right? What did the protagonist do in the end? I bought a few cups of milk tea for my family and new clothes for my sister. Even if it was originally conceived as a story about a sister being stepped on and looked down upon by her old classmates when she signed up for school, and the brother using his capital to support his sister pretending to be sexy, this super ancient plot would be ten times more exciting now, right? Now I have arranged for a brother to secretly save tens of millions of dollars for the setting. He is completely self-inflicted. It is not enough to be fun in the early stage, and he has to prune and trim everything. The equipment is even more awkward. It is non-confrontational, does not compete with others, does not let others see it, and is hidden everywhere. So what is the point of harvesting equipment? I don't know how many people have played MMORPGs like World of Warcraft. As soon as the rare and high-quality equipment of this game came out, the whole server and the whole team were shocked. Congratulations, even if the high-quality equipment comes out, each team can pass the shot. It's so cool. Wealth and wealth are not visible, such as walking at night in brocade. This set of designs has always been one of the underlying logics of online articles. As a result, this book is simply discarded like worn out shoes. Dungeon, a copy of world strategy, GJ forces, and the trading network of civil organizations are completely invisible. Entry-level forces such as the Black Iron class are allowed to develop freely. Is there any censorship mechanism at all? Because the protagonist must hide, and he is so good at hiding, everything has to make way for this setting. From a small perspective, it is a rich character design, but from a broad perspective, it is completely picking up sesame seeds and throwing away watermelons. The problem is that the protagonist is so good at hiding, but after 80,000 words, it hardly generates any emotional value for the readers. At this time, other Gou Dao-type protagonists do not know how to counterattack and shock others. Take the necklace as an example. The necklace itself does not need to be changed. The three people go out for review, and the male and female protagonists stay in the room for review. Arbitrary staff NPCs are arranged to come out and say a few words about the necklace. It is a bronze treasure and is expensive, and then says that the male protagonist will not sell it and will leave it to the female protagonist. After the staff leaves, the male protagonist will say something duplicitous for the sake of the team. Now the value of the necklace and the bond between the male and female protagonists have gone up? It's better than giving it directly and then having the hero and heroine play house in the lounge, right? Even if you want to keep your hole cards, you can also directly refer to the iceberg model to show three points and seven points. Can't the things in the system not be extracted at all? Isn't this equivalent to the protagonist having an extra hidden backpack to avoid restrictions? It's written that whether it's going to the black market, it's a cool thing to be the trump card? Moreover, there is no need to write about many equipment gains, and readers will not feel happy. For example, bone shields and arrows sound very powerful, but the result is shield + 1 and arrow + 1. Isn't this the typical situation where you use a wooden stick to hit lobsters at level 1, and then use a big wooden stick to hit big lobsters at level 10? No matter how much these complicated things are written, it is better to put more effort and hard thinking into a single prop, and think about how to keep the protagonist from exceeding the standard and make the protagonist improve immediately every time. It is not a hammer here, a hammer there. For example, I want to write a Holy Shield Knight. In this small upgrade, I will make it resistant to monsters that it was originally unable to withstand. In the next major upgrade, I will give him a skill that can resist damage for his teammates. And what about Lin Li? As a summoning protagonist, I am almost exhausted. It is resurrection, identification, summoning, copying abilities, special rewards (Sharingan, boots), and dungeon selection. It turns out that the heroine is the leader of the team, the spiritual leader, and the all-around mage, Fire Fist is the elemental assassin, Xiong Da is the T, and Fang Xiaoying is the perceptual assistant. What is the role of the protagonist in the team? The damage resistance is painful, but the damage output is not good. I rely on a bunch of small animals to deal damage in the team, steal equipment, and save people to earn a thank you. 2. In terms of setting There is nothing to say about the world view. The most common dungeon invasion and national awakening settings are completely unattractive. Nowadays, even the wise Han Qing and Korean comics use such an ancient world view. And the tone of the whole world has not been brought up at all. The crow is now writing about national hunters, and behind it is a big event that is about to come. So isn't now the golden period to shape "dark clouds", shape "strong winds", and pave the way for a sense of crisis? When the financial crisis comes, everyone knows what to stock up on, and the media all know that there are dates and dates, and they are worried about selling and selling. As a result, this book of 100,000 words has almost no shaping. What should ordinary people do? The biggest failure is that there are too many life-saving measures in the world. Even Long Ao Tianwen like Sword Art Online knows that the beginning of the game deepens the world view by having Mr. Tong die of his first love, but the result is that the extremely dangerous dungeon is emphasized again and again. As of writing, it seems that it has muddle-headedly arranged the death of a few passers-by who don't even have names, which makes the "resurrection" of the male protagonist very boring. Everyone else is on pins and needles, fighting for life and death, but the male protagonist looks at the world from the perspective of a "player", which is so cool; everyone is as calm and smooth as playing a game, leaving the crisis on the surface. So what if the male protagonist can be resurrected? Moreover, it is still a "resurrection" that does not know how many times it can be resurrected, has limitations on how many times it can be resurrected, and does not bring much information. The design of Goldfinger is actually good. The combination of monster summoning + card player is theoretically a particularly explosive combination. In addition, the male protagonist has a bit of a mean personality and a strange brain circuit. It is very suitable for one man to form an army and "I am crazy alone". It has great potential whether it is to attract hatred or build relationships. Here I will throw some light on the topic and write down a few basic routines: 1. The male protagonist was framed or conspired to steal the treasure, which put him in a dangerous situation where he could not survive alone. As a result, he summoned the army backhand, not only got the secret treasure, but also went out and killed the villain in one go in shock; 2. The enemy investigates the male protagonist in advance, knows all the monster cards of the male protagonist and takes targeted measures. The male protagonist directly combines the effects of the cards with others to counter-kill the enemy; 3. A friendly person is trapped in a dangerous situation and must wait for reinforcements to rescue him. The male protagonist directly goes in and saves the person, gaining fetters, popularity, and praise from everyone. These are very classic and ancient routines, but they do not necessarily mean that the framework is not easy to use. I have also finished "The Lord of the Mist" and "The Witch" before, and I know that Crow is not very good at villain creation (especially the Holy Lord, I remember that he seemed to be scolded at the time) and intrigue. But good web writing grows on the shoulders of predecessors. "Lord of the Mist" didn't use any new tricks in the first half. Isn't it cool for Li Changzhou to pretend to be x? In "Miko", Minamoto Seibo appears to be a saint before the Buddha, and he is also very domineering. From this point of view, there will definitely be growth in writing in a down-to-earth manner, and there is really no need to go off the beaten path. In terms of character design, there are highlights and problems, and the problems are relatively big. I have written several routines before that use villains as "igniting agents". Can I write an adventure novel without writing about a hated villain? That's definitely possible. For example, "Su Qing" basically doesn't have a profound villain, but to achieve this, you need to work hard on the character design, write an interesting "team", and interesting supporting characters, rather than just writing about the male and female protagonists. As of now, the male protagonist is better than the last few books. At least he is not a "turtle" or has his head down. He should be tough and tough, and he should be cruel. He is usually a bit mean and has a clearer mind. So far, it seems okay. From "Love Travel" to this book, it can be clearly seen that Crow wants to write about a more ordinary and life-oriented protagonist than the beautiful boy Let's just say the female protagonist has no merits. She is cool, extremely beautiful, coquettish, team-oriented, and reasonable. Such a female protagonist is not considered a pendant, but her main function currently is to flirt with the male protagonist to attract readers' interest. To be honest, she smells a bit crafty. Okay, I've finished writing the male and female protagonists, what next? Is there no character left? Who else could I write about? I think this is the biggest problem of this book. It is a dungeon-style adventure book. Everyone comes to read the adventure. However, the dungeon copy is not interesting or innovative. The male protagonist's gold finger is almost full of hexagons and he is still playing auxiliary. Half of the most important first 200,000 words of a book have passed, and it is still struggling to support the male and female protagonists. The problem is that the protagonist of this book is not at the same level as Watanabe Kiyono.

Sure enough, if you write a book about love, you will reward yourself with a book about fighting. You will be impressed.

The beginning of this book is really good, I hope the crow can polish it up and not end it again. In addition, I still recommend changing the title of the book. This name is too strange. Finally, although I like Qing Ye Shen very much, I don't want every book to have half Qing Ye Shen.

Crow, what show have you read recently to write a book like this 🙂

Most especially she, above all else is she

I have a hunch, but the results in Chapter 150 are very bad. It has been a long time since I found food and grass. After all, this is the end of the crow.

A brainless and refreshing article rated by the public as worse than Tomato

The author can learn from the novel "I Loaded the Love Game" to help improve his writing skills 🙂

You proved yourself to be the king of Qidian light novels back then. All subsequent works have proven that your "Love Travel" is just a copy of a top-notch work - after all, the original work is one of the Four Yandere Kings. You simply can't find anyone to copy now.

What are you writing about? Aren't you a bit of a romantic? First, a supporting character was arranged who liked the heroine, and then the supporting character was a bit targeted at the protagonist. The protagonist still seemed indifferent and said that he was not interested in Zhao Qingyue. But this is the early stage after all, so there's nothing much to say. But why did you write Captain Mo later? What does it mean to harass Zhao Qingyue from the beginning and then be driven away? There is a plot behind such a character? The relationship between the male and female protagonists has not developed at all, and then a bunch of supporting characters are arranged to covet the female protagonist. This kind of disgusting plot is not to promote the plot, but to simply disgust the readers. It can't be because you want to highlight the beauty of the heroine, right? It's really over. The male protagonist is still there to continue being a family man, can the plot development not be so awkward?

Crow now needs to see a doctor to check if there is anything wrong with his body. What I write is not even 1% refined. It looks good.

Who will make up for the love I lack in daily life? Demon Crow, give back my Riqing Crow life!

I'm completely disappointed, from the surprise of Lianyou to the fairy grass of the witch, to the mess in the black room, to the early stage of the mental hospital where I went crazy behind the fairy grass, to the West Lake vinegar fish in the book, and now to the garbage. Do you know how you feel to me now, like a professional player who has gone from lol world champion to lpl first-line to low-scoring master, diving all the way into the black iron. Congratulations on your successful integration into the black iron division and your inseparable performance in the black iron game I have already seen that you are useless, but you can still be saved. You write your daily love articles like this, but it is a positive change. I think this is the bottom But I really didn't expect that. Every time I felt that this was your final lower limit, I didn't expect that you would really break through the lower limit again and again I will never read your books again, goodbye

I just scrolled through Douyin and reached this paragraph. My heart is a little dead. I really want to cry. I feel so uncomfortable. Crow, please, can you explode again? Come back and write about Riqing. Write a book that is better than Lianyou and slap in the face those who say that you have exhausted your talent. 😭

The male protagonist is a cliché, a villain to his family, a miser, a scheming and crazy person. The same goes for the heroine, who keeps describing how beautiful she is, and then attracts a bunch of inexplicable flies to her, which is disgusting. The emotional line is still two ice cubes bumping into each other, filled with water. There is no visual sense in the fighting, not even "what skills the subject activated and what results". It's all about killing some monsters, dropping something, and a bunch of psychological descriptions. The plot is also written in a dream. It is obviously a dungeon copy, but suddenly some mysterious organization pops up, and then there is a double agent.

Are you human? Stop updating the next day, crow, you are really a devil

Sigh... There is a high probability that this result will be cut off.

Suggestion (you don't have to listen): Delete the book quickly while there are still few chapters, this beginning is terrible! You should delve deeper into the romance harem theme of light novels instead of this inexplicable hunter fantasy genre!

I wrongly blamed you, Crow. I feel like you really have something to say this time. What if?

I'm really stunned, but it's okay🦆Sang, I support you and continue to write about your favorite daily battles. You will surpass Love Travel😡😡😡

I feel like Crow was so sprayed that he didn't know how to write. In fact, I felt that Crow's writing about the Kendo Tournament in the last book was very serious and very interesting, but the comment section was filled with comments such as "look at what you wrote", "it smells of Japanese neurosis", "I could still read it before the Kendo Tournament, but I can't stand it starting from the Kendo Tournament"…. Afterwards, Crow once adjusted the writing method, but no matter how he wrote it, he was criticized. Anyone who puts all his effort into writing something will be dismissed as worthless, and no matter how much he writes, he will be denied, and he will become at a loss. I don't know what to say. I can only say that the next book must be written in detail.

Crow, I believe you again

It can be seen that Tokyo Girl Crow has tried her best, but now you are just a shadow of yourself

After watching too much stuff from my childhood, I became obsessed with it. After a few years after I came out of society, I watched a TV series and it made my eyes dirty. All kinds of distortions and bigotry simply pollute the human spirit.

Crow, why don't you write the outline and details and save more manuscripts before starting a new book? Go read the new book Sword and Candle Wilderness written by Cuttlefish at the same time. You can clearly feel how sufficient the preparations were in the early stage. I will post pictures of the chapters for you to take a look at.

Author, I feel that you really want to take the light novel route, but your writing style is not very good and the plot is not very attractive. I suggest you read the novel Love Travel and see how it is written.

What does it mean? I only saw this book open two months ago. How can I finish it after just one glance?

You can consider writing Japanese comics. The character settings and plots are all ready-made. The plot plus a little bit of your own creation is the most important thing to get back to the previous writing state. Once the character is established, you only need to think about the male protagonist's personality, and the dialogue. In books such as Love Travel and Miko, the dialogue is particularly interesting. The male protagonist is also confident, proud, and humorous. You can imitate it or you can write fan fiction directly. Get back your previous writing style before thinking about the next work.

I hope the author will produce a fine product after adjustments.