Football: You Play This Badly, Yet Score a Last-Minute Winner Every Match?

Lin Feng transmigrates and becomes the “water boy” for Cadiz, a La Liga team fighting to avoid relegation. His actual soccer skills are so atrocious that his first touch sends the ball five meters away. The only reason he gets on the pitch is that a sponsor insists on it. Fortunately, he binds to the [Score a Goal Every Match System]! As long as he takes the field, the heavens force-feed him goals! And so, the most absurd “undefeated legend” in world soccer is born. For the first eighty-nine minutes of a match, Lin Feng passes the ball out of bounds, runs into opponents while dribbling, and strolls around the pitch slacking off. The commentators mock him mercilessly: “Putting Lin Feng on the pitch is the same as giving up on Cadiz!” His haters hammer away at their keyboards: “There, he's been exposed! A useless player who only got in through connections!” But then, in stoppage time, everything changes. Lin Feng tries a volley but slips inside the box. The opposing defender clears the ball, only for it to smash into the sole of Lin Feng's foot and ricochet into the net! As Lin Feng looks down, wondering what to eat for dinner, the opposing goalkeeper launches the ball upfield. By some bizarre twist of fate, it smacks into the back of Lin Feng's head and bounces into the goal! The head coach slides to his knees on the sidelines, tears in his eyes: “The highest skill looks like no skill at all! Lin Feng's apparent mistakes are all psychological traps designed to lull his opponents!” A world-class manager in the stands clutches his hair in despair: “China has a god among them! This match is impossible to defend!” Worse still, the qualifiers for the World Cup in the United States, Canada, and Mexico are about to begin, and the national team's forward line is in crisis. Amid the joking pleas of 1.4 billion fans, Lin Feng is summoned home overnight and hailed as the savior. Facing the world-class defenses of Japan, South Korea, Iran, and Saudi Arabia, Lin Feng rubs his protruding belly and sighs helplessly: “I keep telling you I really can't play. What on earth are you imagining?!”