A Record of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality: I, Lei Wanhe, Cultivate While Lying Down

Every time, the protagonist is anxiously running around, going to Han Li's cave for negotiation. It feels like Han Li is like a leader, and the protagonist is like a younger brother. Let's see how Jiyin Island teaches his disciples.

After seeing Chapter 18, after the blood ban came out, I thought that Nangong Wan and Han Li were not together, so I thought about preparing to take Nangong in. It's really off-putting. Author, you can arrange the plot later. It's okay to accept Nangong by coincidence, and Hongfu's master and apprentice are also okay. But you have just started a few chapters and you are thinking about these things and forcibly distorting the protagonist's character and behavior. It is not easy to cherish writing a book after dissuading so many readers.

A harem is not a harem, neither is a single heroine/no heroine, you are invincible👍🏻

The writing of the novel is very average, and all the lightning points that should not be ignored have been stepped on. For example, if I find a surprise point, you can see if it is right. The first one shares the small green bottle, and the second teleportation array is shared with the sect.

It's okay if you kill them all, but you have to prepare the ground well. What you write feels like "the devil's side has repeatedly shown mercy to this side, but because the person opposite is a "beautiful woman with palace makeup", you have a character that is not affected by beauty and violated the tacit understanding between the two parties and killed the person. If it is not a woman, you will not kill it." The biggest problem is to give the reader the feeling that the opposite side has repeatedly shown mercy.

This kind of insight will make you have no desire to read at first glance. You can just sit back and get something for nothing.

I am a mortal fan fiction appraiser. The full score is 10 points. This one is 3 points. There are typos, mediocre writing, poor conception, character emotional lines, and the narrative is as light as water with nothing new. The protagonist is not strong at all. It has a sense of illusion. It's a hands-on exercise.

I found a bug in the introduction! When Han Li gets the protagonist, he gets the enhanced version, right? After giving the enhanced version to Han Li, he got the enhanced version again! Isn't this going to get stuck?

A Mortal's Journey to Immortality was serialized 18 years ago, and there are still people writing fanfics about it. . . Moreover, this book was not well-known at that time, and it was not found on the first page of online searches. Only when I came across a good platform and someone was willing to make animations did it become a little popular. . .

Why do people who write about mortals need to use the system? Can't they use some physical or talent skills?