Running a Demon Cult

I transmigrated into the body of a demonic cult leader whose organization was on the brink of bankruptcy. There was no money in the accounts, no food in the storehouses, and every elder was a seasoned slacker. To make matters worse, the orthodox alliance delivered an ultimatum: complete the compliance overhaul within three months, or disband on the spot. I took a deep breath and convened the demonic cult’s first all-hands shareholders’ meeting. “Starting today, we’re introducing KPI assessments.” “Anyone who fails to meet their targets will be eliminated from the bottom up.” “Top performers get equity, stock options, and full social insurance and housing benefits.” The elders: ??? Three months later. The leader of the orthodox alliance stared pensively at the “Compliance Overhaul Report” sent over by the demonic cult. The cover read: “Five-Year Development Plan and IPO Feasibility Analysis for the Demonic Cult Group.” Chapter One: Practical Applications of KPI Management in Building Demonic Cult Culture Chapter Two: An Empirical Study of How Equity Incentives Improve Cult Members’ Combat Strength Chapter Three: ... The leader closed the report and sat in silence for a long while. “Go get the person who wrote this report. Bring him to the orthodox alliance.” Disciple: “Who should we bring, Leader?” Leader: “The demonic cult leader! Have him come and set up that... KPI thing for us too!”