Vampires, Paladins & Dungeons

Like the title, the logic is flawed. Some of the portrayals also have problems that are inconsistent with the identity of the characters. Only reasonable stereotypes can be called classic portrayals. The paladin with his wine bag and rice bag is indifferent to his sister and brother. Normally I would laugh at your slight contrast, but if you let me eat such a big thing late at night, I really want to scold you. I see what the outline and plot of your comment section have to do with the dungeon you introduced? You are a Japanese RPG with poor balance at best. There are so many good dungeon works, and DND has related expansions, but you don't even look at it. Where did your pseudo-DND go? It's just a dice to measure combat power, and the world view is a mess. Either go to a few tags and change the profile so as not to offend people, or tell everyone that you are not for this track and don't try too hard.

I feel that the current performance of this book is probably not very good. If the author cuts the book, I guess it will be normal, but I still want to say some things to help the author improve (if the author still plans to write a book). Although I don't write books and I have no writing experience, but I still have a long time to read books. I can probably talk about some shortcomings or drug stores I see (just take a look, I don't mean to criticize) In fact, apart from the plot, the author's writing style is pretty good for a novice author, and it is definitely good, and can even be said to be good br>Have said all the good things, let me talk about the shortcomings First of all, in terms of the character plot, let's talk about the sister first. It was well written in the beginning, but then there was a big riot in the election, and then the sister disappeared, and then it took a long time to say, ah, the sister was taken away, or the heir of some blood or something. Of course, there is no problem with this arrangement. You asked someone to find a tailor to make your sister's dress. Of course, finding someone is not a problem. The problem is that the villain came on stage and claimed that this dress was customized by the villain, but you also said that it was canceled temporarily. However, when the villain screamed, you The person your protagonist is looking for is silent, not a word, brother, and then your villain, even the person your protagonist is looking for, the nobles, are all involved, and then this person just seems to have disappeared. Why, on the Flower Goddess Festival, her father, the Duke, is not here, and neither is she? Anyway, it's about an election meeting... It's hard to describe in one sentence Then what, my sister is out of business, and the protagonist seems to be in no hurry at all, he didn't mention my sister at all, why don't you write something like "Sister, you must still be waiting for me, I must live on", nothing! From chapters 24 to 34 your protagonist is not mentioned a word! ! ! He's your protagonist, his sister's brother, and that vampire. He's been missing since Chapter 22. Even your protagonist has never suspected it. You're a big nerve. You're a vampire. Why, you specifically refer to the vampire protagonist? Oh no, I mentioned it in Chapter 56, Then skipping over the female supporting characters, such as the yandere princess and the invincible female swordsman, let's talk about the female priest you recently described, the one named Eden (why not talk about it, it's because there is no image and I'm too lazy to read it again) I can see it, do you want to write about some special bond or something? Then just write. First, there are two dreams with unknown meanings. I was thinking that you want to explain the world view. For example, this world is just a few gods playing a running team, and then everything ends with one sentence. Then I ask you, then I ask you, what? It's over, is this running game over, or is the original story over? Then there's the second dream. This isn't a big problem. Write about the heroine's rebirth and return. Then your latest chapter is oh ho, crazy, and that Shi Lao. The Fake Princess is too much to describe in one word, I won't say anything else, there are too many to say (and there are too many now) Bala-Bala came up to write a lot, and I didn't make any suggestions for improvement. In fact, I can't make any suggestions, because I wrote them myself, that is, if you, the author, want to see it, just say it, and then you can tell me if you have any objections. In fact, seeing now, it is not easy to write more than one of you, and I like this story better

No, what is this? Let's not mention tolerance for now, but my sister really couldn't bear it. A princess who is interested in the male protagonist, is very nymphomaniac, willful and a bit yandere. When the male protagonist and his sister are surrounded by guards called by the nobles, and the male protagonist resists, a high priest who is very strong at first glance captures the male protagonist alone, leaving the beautiful sister at the scene without even looking at it. It was also clearly written before that if someone as beautiful as my sister is arrested, the guards will do bad things. Then when the male protagonist asked him where his sister was, he said that he didn't know, and then angrily forced the male protagonist to do a dangerous thing for him. Is this because he was looking for an enemy? There was no news about the male protagonist's sister again. I don't know what other people think of this plot, I just find it baffling.

The fifth-level paladin has a strength of 8. Does this suppress his combat power?

I don't understand what it means to write two killers as comedians. It makes me think that the male protagonist is a bad guy, and writing the male protagonist in the dungeon is so stupid.

This is so baffling. Where is my sister? Why didn't you tell me where your sister was? Then my sister disappeared and my brother fell in love somewhere, right?

It's inexplicable. I don't know why the protagonist has to be transformed into a vampire paladin with power 8. What's the point of being a garbage race like a vampire?

You should put it in the light novel section.

I think the author is quite capable But I don't know what you think. After dozens of chapters, I finished it once in ten chapters on average Just look at the plot. The aristocratic man and the green tea girl who retaliate for kindness caused a conflict and then nothing happened Do the two of them have to die? The low-level people who come to push the plot of killing the nobles are so stupid that they don't take revenge on the nobles until they die, right? Before rebirth, the saint was forced to eat human flesh (are you serious? Have you thought about the consequences of doing this, do you really understand what it means?) The latest chapter of the plot, To be honest, the protagonist can just go dark and become the villain. Looking at the current plot, you don't have to do some unknown work of forgiving the nobles. Apart from other things, what is the difference between the two princesses and the little fairies... No, is the author a veteran writer with millions of book fans?

I finally found a non-soul-traveling Western fantasy novel with multiple female protagonists. I really want to read it, but I really can't make it through the third chapter. The vampire girl who calls herself "concubine" and calls the protagonist "Puppy-kun" finally says, "Puppy-kun, are you willing to accompany me to the end of the world?" No, I wonder if you have turned someone into a slave. Do you think the other party is willing to do it? The reader's perspective has no filter on this kind of heroine who has just appeared. It is really disgusting. If she is a Japanese-style western fantasy that is generally relaxed and cheerful and can barely be naked, she can be regarded as a "boy meets girl". It is really difficult to put this dnd world view, and the Japanese manga obsession is almost overflowing.

Advantages: 1. Strong writing style. The author should have read a lot. There are many literary allusions hidden in the book, various battle descriptions, and scene descriptions are also very graphic. 2. In terms of character creation, especially the portrayal of female characters, it far exceeds 90% of the works in the light novel category. The author should consider switching to the light novel category. Then there are the shortcomings: 1. The narrative pace is too fast: the plot of the work advances rapidly and the information density is extremely high. Although it slows down in the second volume, it still gives readers a sense of rush as a whole. This results in a large number of details being highly compressed, and readers can easily miss key information, weakening the immersive reading experience. 2. Underutilization of characters: The existence of multiple female characters created in the book is intermittent. After the initial shaping, characters are often shelved for a long time and only mentioned occasionally after dozens of chapters. This can easily make readers feel like "tool people". It is recommended that the number of core female protagonists be appropriately streamlined and their integration with the main plot be deepened. 3. The dungeon design deviates from the traditional sense of pleasure: the dungeon dungeons in the work focus more on plot promotion, rather than providing the instant gratification of "killing monsters, upgrading and exploding equipment" in traditional online novels. Each monster is like a plot boss. There is a lack of subplots that can relax the reader and refreshing moments of slap-in-the-face style, which makes the reading process remain in a state of high tension and easily lead to fatigue. 4. The golden finger setting has a weak sense of presence: As an important element of the web novel, the golden finger setting of this book has a low sense of existence. It only appears in the form of data accumulation during battles. It does not seem to be indispensable to the protagonist's growth and plot advancement. It even gives people the impression that "the protagonist can succeed without relying on it", which weakens the unique fun and expectation that this setting should bring. To sum up, this is a work with solid intrinsic quality but a style that tends toward traditional literature. Its writing style and character creation demonstrate the author's literary pursuits, but in terms of narrative rhythm, character management, and commercialized design, there is a gap between it and the general preferences of current Internet literature readers.

Don't know why? Every mouthful of a puppy is very uncomfortable and affects reading.

Brother, where is your vampire? He disappeared after a few chapters? How come your well-drawn characters suddenly disappeared? How did a good dungeon adventure suddenly turn into a crisis of annihilation and a political struggle between countries? How did your adventure become the story of the restoration of the prince in trouble? Is this really written by the author himself? Is it not an AI or a sales account?

In domestic online literature, DND + Japanese light novels + gamification = most likely it will be shit, and the sense of fragmentation is serious. Many well-written DND novels in China will be gamified. The protagonist will have a system, but the characters in the plot will not be so gamified. "Look, I am level 10 and you don't have to fight me at level 2. I am a higher level than you and I win." A novel is a novel and a game is a game. If you don't grasp the degree, it will lead to fragmentation💩

After reading Chapter 6, I decided to give up. What the hell is this, a meaningless procrastination with long paragraphs of numerical values, a primary school student's composition? I won't talk about the three golden chapters. As far as the current plot is concerned, the protagonist's character is like a mysophobic who cannot see the reality, but all the descriptions try to maintain the mature and calm independent and self-reliant time traveler character. It's disgusting. How old is the author? He must have never been exposed to that kind of isolated life. People who have been around for a long time or precocious children, you have to be a saint but also fearful when eating people alone. There is no profile of the characters, and they are all based on long narratives. I really can't stand it. The above text does not have any subjective malice, it is purely intuitive. I will not complain about this category label, it is too difficult to comment.

Do you feel like the author's plot control needs to be improved? It feels like the important points were all mentioned in one stroke, and they happened directly. For example, when you turned into a vampire, it felt like you shuddered and closed your eyes and changed. After all, you are a level 5 paladin. What about your resistance and your ideological activities? After the transformation, she said to give you money, and you just accepted it so directly? And the part about the younger sister, being questioned about her clothes, being criticized, and then breaking her guard and taking action directly? Doesn't my sister have any brains? In this situation, isn't it the one who strikes first and the other who ignores it? And then the protagonist goes directly to the tribunal? Doesn't the protagonist have any brains? Can you break out of the siege at level 6? What's the use except giving away one more head? Then the protagonist was beaten down, and no one cared about his sister. Wasn't the purpose of the guards surrounding her to arrest her? Otherwise, I would probably have to write more than a dozen chapters, but I'll just cover it with one or two chapters here. It's too thin, and I feel like the protagonist is very brainless. The plot was also painful to watch.

Good ! ! ! Oil ! ! ! Tired! ! Ah! ! ! ! ! , Where did the greasy two-dimensional ah zhai author come from, ah zhai is good, the two-dimensional dynasty is good, the writing is good, the greasy writing of ah zhai is very bad, can we just absorb the taste, everything is too much, and my big toe can dig the sheets to pieces.

I'm speechless. Are all the characters in the first volume dead? When it was over, there was no explanation.

I think there is something missing. All the good women love the male protagonist deeply. Either the hypnosis app or the modifier is working hard.

I really want to vomit, but I don't know where to start, so I will talk about the last few chapters; Because I skipped a lot, there must be some omissions, and I apologize for the wrong things. I personally don't like the swordsman, and the whole King City chapter can only be said to have a really bad look and feel The first is the strength of the protagonist side, which is not very good either overtly or covertly. In the end, the protagonist can only rely on the protagonist to stir up the storm in the entire royal city. Not only is he not strong enough on paper, he will also be caught between several forces, and his identity will be stolen. When the time comes to come out of the dungeon, he will have to bear a lot of blame for no reason, and the protagonist does not have the ability to break Rose's wrist. It feels like If you really want the protagonist to work alone, you might as well give more points and supplies at the beginning. Now it's almost all face-to-face greetings, but there are only one or two people who can help. The protagonist has almost no growth on paper... Stuff... Finally, it's a matter of pacing. Wang Cheng can't solve the problems of several major female characters (especially the younger sister) by relying solely on the current protagonist's power. Moreover, the longer Wang Cheng stays, the easier it is to be discovered and hunted down by the pseudo-protagonist and Wang Chengfang. It's better to assemble the team and move to the dungeon chapter first, and put some contradictions later, the protagonist Once you have the strength, you can solve it quickly and it will be cool; In the end, we added the King of Black and White... The protagonist's sister is already more attractive than Tang Seng, right? The protagonist still can't win him away, and the conflict between the protagonist and Wang Chengfang is already big enough, and he can't break Wang Cheng's wrist, so what's the point of writing this... Finally, the length of Wang Cheng's chapter is It feels too long. I personally feel that after assembling the dungeon team, we should quickly start the dungeon chapter, such as using a one-time artifact to escape from the pursuers. In the final analysis, the various forces and problems in the royal city chapter cannot solve any problems with the current strength of the single protagonist. When the time comes, I can only enter the dungeon chapter with a lot of enthusiasm, and the length of the royal city chapter is too long. The longer the book is, the more irritated the readers will feel. I don't know how the author can write such a explosive point. It is impossible to explode again every few hundred chapters 😅 As for the introduction, when I first read the introduction, I felt that this book would be in a light and bright style, so I added a bookshelf. As a result, the impression of the King City Chapter is that it is Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo Luo. Luo Luo, it's cool. For now, the protagonist has changed useful skills 😅... Personally, I feel that the author is really good at writing tragedies/knife men. I may be in a bad mood these days and the plot is not well controlled. I hope the author can really live up to the two tags of comedy and dungeon exploration. Come on 😒

The princess is so disgusting. Since the protagonist wants to leave the country, he leaves the country directly. He is indecisive. Moreover, the sister disappears and he does not even have the determination to kill the princess on the spot. The sister's feelings for the protagonist are all in vain.

Suddenly I have no interest in reading anymore. Just a quick spoiler. The protagonist is very charming. Do you want all or some of the many labeled female characters to appear? Hey hey, the charming monster was raped by the yandere, and I quietly tell you that it is still a corpse. The addition and subtraction of the previous battle log makes my scalp numb when I use the audio book, so I should quit.

This book might be better placed in the light novel section. After reading the first 30 or so chapters, I basically relied on women with two-dimensional characters to drive the plot. Both the protagonists and villains are

Name: Ainar Gender: Female Race: Human/Wild Elf Age: 17 Bloodline: Oberon Occupation: Bard Talent: Time Magic Skill: Life Death and Plague Magic Weapon: Fantasy (Harp) Summoned Beast: Flame Lion Image: A girl with long golden hair, wearing a purple moon butterfly dress made of moonlight silver threads and wilderness butterfly essence to eternally cleanse and defend the soul Introduction: Wild Elf Lord Sinnoh Bolong meets the daughter of a mortal noble. She likes to travel around the world and likes the male protagonist {"NickName":"Book Friends 20251114190029684","UserId":484667005}

Silver-haired sinner Noah? Where are the Ampsha Bartoli called Idiot Noah and Aita Aoi?

I really admire this author. From the time he put 100,000 words on the bookshelf to now, 350,000 words have not yet been put on the bookshelf, but he still insists on writing it. How awesome! Come on!

It's a bit urgent, time is tight and the task is heavy.

I don't know why, but I feel like the writing is so good. There are so few characters in every page. It's really boring to read.

I've finished watching it, I'm really sorry. When I was watching it, I wanted to give it a try, but when I realized it, I realized it was over. I felt like there were still a lot of stories left to tell, which was really a pity. I didn't feel the plot problems that others mentioned. I just thought it was a running group. Everyone could do whatever they wanted and see all kinds of things in hell. It was interesting. I like this story, I like Noah, I like that Noah starts with the pale description of justice and the burning sinners, it's so cool. I like my sister from the end of the Flower Goddess Festival, when she chases Noah with her hair like a golden flag, but later I like her even more when she holds a huge shield with a power of 18. But what is the ending? There was no news from Noah after his death, and it was somewhat expected that she would have her own adventure. I never cared about the princess. I mustered up the courage to hope that everyone would unite to protect the motherland, but I just thought that there is going to be a war. Let me see Noah killing everyone. Later, it was revealed that she was the little girl in the bakery. She sighed that this was the case. Later, she still regarded herself as Noah's wife, which felt really good. Eden's character is so interesting. Every time I see her, I always wonder when she will hit base, thinking she will hit base! I also like the writing style of the story. The layout of the scene, the words of the people, and the arrangement of the story. In the end, this kind of writing style is needed. Sometimes it is very impressive. It can be serious, touching, or thunderous. Think about it if there were bards in this world telling the legend of the King of All, it would be like this.

It shouldn't be... This novel is one of the few excellent works among so many works currently. It has content, structure, and ideas. Why is it not on the shelves and not popular yet?