I'm a Cop in Penglai

It's a cover change, I've been looking forward to it for a long time

I actually don't pay much attention to romance novels. The book written by the author of Lai Qidian was the first romance book I accidentally read. After reading the chapters, I feel that the author's writing style and sense of atmosphere have always been outstanding, and his personal writing style is particularly eye-catching. But (it is the narrative structure + writing arrangement, which still needs more practice) The rhythm still needs to be controlled) In this regard, I would like to put forward my suggestions. Just fine-tune your subsequent writing slowly, and do not interfere with your established outline and main plot at all. Just stick to your own ideas in the general direction of creation, and there is no need to cater to readers' preferences: 1. Write less long paragraphs of descriptions of individual scenes. Just integrate the scenery into the character's perspective 2. Streamline the unnecessary chatting of passers-by, and focus more on the main characters and plot 3. Bury a little suspense in each chapter without forcing conflicts, which naturally enhances the appeal of the story These are all writing structures (note that they are writing structures) Tips, read more about the narrative rhythm of high-quality articles, and you will gradually become proficient in it. I very much agree with the creative concept of Fenghuo Opera Princes, and I would like to share it with you: If others point out the plot logic, detail bugs, and rhythm loopholes, they will be revised and polished in time; The main line direction, character style, and story core must be true to yourself, and do not be biased by readers' subjective preferences. Readers can only see superficial flaws and cannot understand the overall plot layout. I hope your writing will become more stable and better~ The following is a conversation between me and Doubao. I was asking why this book is not popular, and he told me the reason. It is for reference only, because AI is a human machine after all

There is a Yuqing Weilin super chat on Weibo. Are there any fans?

Sign the contract quickly. Keep chasing books.

It's so beautiful, I'm going to start typing on the keyboard! ! !

1. Tighten the rhythm: delete redundancy and leave blank space to make the emotional progression more natural Split the mother's lines into "actions + short sentences" Delete repeated descriptions, such as "Eight Swords" and only write it once in key places, such as "The sword that slashed through the rebels penetrated my mother's back eight times, and blood spattered all over the floor. I hid in the closet and didn't even dare to breathe." Writing it all at once is more impactful than saying it repeatedly. 2. Complement the logic: Make the character's behavior consistent and close the loop of motives Add the mother's contradiction: She is not reluctant to leave the clan leader, but is afraid that the mother clan will be implicated and her daughter will be retaliated. For example, "It's not that she doesn't want to leave, she is just afraid that he will anger the mother clan, and she is even more afraid that I will be exterminated by him." This makes her humbleness more reasonable. Supplementary motivations of the patriarch: His preference for sons over daughters is not only because his daughter is not a boy, but also because after the demon world's rebellion, he needs a strong heir to consolidate his position, and the mother's inability to have children after giving birth to a daughter has become a "burden" for him, making his image more three-dimensional and not simply bad. 3. Strengthen the atmosphere: use details and environmental descriptions to make the sense of abuse more advanced Add environmental descriptions to Feiqiao's memory scenes: use the environment to heighten her sense of fragmentation. ​ Optimize Xiaoman's perspective: Make her reaction layered, not "petrified", but use details to reflect her shock, which is more in line with the perspective of a bystander. 4. Closed loop of imagery: let the foreshadowing echo back and forth to strengthen the theme (Have not read this one yet, just read this to have a better feel when writing the article) The image of Pipa song can be used throughout: every time Feiqiao plays the pipa, she is covering up her mother's cry. Later, it can be written that when she plays the pipa, her fingertips bleed, and the sound of the pipa is filled with tears, echoing her pain. ​ The image of the famous sword can be further strengthened: for example, after the patriarch killed his wife, the sword was sealed. Later, Feiqiao found the sword and used it to kill the patriarch with his own hands, forming a closed loop of revenge of "treating the other person with his own way." The theme is more profound.

The memory transition in Chapter 63 was very well written! Keep it up

More than 4,500 words have been modified "I am a policeman in Penglai" Chapters 1-60 - Chapters 1-5 1. Core logic & detailed bugs 1. The setting is abruptly interspersed: straightforward narration piles up worldview and heavenly rules, without plot continuity 2. There is a gap in motivation connection: Lu Hong protects Lian, and the clues of the mirror fragment are insufficiently laid out 3. Character swings: Ao Yunche's attitude changes without transition, and the emotional jump is abrupt 4. The scene logic is omitted: the theater has abnormal flow of people, no details to support, and the foreshadowing is too weak 5. Memories are randomly inserted: there is no transition in the memories, and the scene switching is abrupt 2. Rhythm loopholes (fine-tuning) 1. The opening is slow: a large part of the environment is laid out at the beginning, and the first three lines are not eye-catching 2. Density is unbalanced: the dialogue is clustered, there are few actions; the ending is hasty after high energy 3. Suspense and confusion: many foreshadowings, no hints in the middle, and deliberate decryption 3. Refinement of writing and expression 1. Too much straightforward psychology: use micro-movements such as eyes and fingertips to replace it 2. Repetitive descriptions: simplify the images such as snow scenes and coldness, and replace them with differentiated words 3. The lines are straightforward: there is little white space for the confrontation, and there is a lack of suspense and tension in the fairy tale 4. The picture is uneven: the group scenes are messy, and the priority is not divided 4. Practical modification formula 1. Delete the straightforward setting narration and incorporate dialogue + inner micro-movement 2. Cut off the empty environment at the beginning and cut directly into the event/conflict 3. Straightforward psychology, complete body micro-movements 4. Memories and transitional sentences, smooth switching 5. Characters fixed and exclusive micro-movements to strengthen the character 6. Foreshadowing is added in every chapter to avoid centralized decryption 5. Priority of rectification Logic bugs>Chapter rhythm>Memory transitions>Line polishing>Writing beautification Chapter 6-10 Shortcomings + permanent avoidance rules 1. Logic & detail bugs (highest priority) 1. Character motivations are laid out too late and too shallow, reasons are temporarily made up, and the plot is forced forward Avoidance: bury micro-movements/eye cues in advance before key actions 2. The setting is straightforward and forced, and the narration is a separate science popularization, which separates the plot Avoidance: The setting is integrated into dialogue, senses, and scenes 3. Scene/perspective switching is abrupt, and double-line jumps are abrupt Avoidance: Use short environmental sentences to connect across lines 4. Inconsistencies in combat power/rules Avoidance: Fixed exclusive rules, check the previous text before writing 5. Key information is revealed in a concentrated manner, and there are no subtle hints for foreshadowing Avoidance: Long-term foreshadowing is given once every 2-3 chapters 2. Common rhythm problems 1. Redundant foreshadowing at the beginning, weak grip at the beginning Avoidance: Cut directly into the action/conflict at the beginning, and the environment is streamlined and laid out 2. The rhythm of high-energy dramas is fast and slow, dragging or rushing Avoidance: high-energy segments are short and fast, leaving a suspense hook at the end 3. More dialogue, less action, pure lines to promote the plot Avoidance: one line paired with a micro-action 4. The hook at the end of the chapter is weak and the ending is dull Avoidance: Leave questions/dangerous hints/foreshadowing at the end of each chapter 3. Problems with writing style 1. Too much straightforward psychology and weak sense of substitution Avoidance: Use fingertips, eyes, strength and other actions instead 2. Repetitive imagery and high-frequency words cause aesthetic fatigue Avoidance: Scene customization with exclusive atmosphere words 3. Lines are straightforward with no white space and no subtext Avoidance: Conversations hide emotions in actions and eyes 4. The group play has unclear priorities and even effort Avoidance: Focus on the core protagonist, and the supporting roles are briefly introduced Four. Character creation issues 1. There is no transition in the emotional transition, and the jump is sudden Avoidance: Add trigger events and micro-reaction connections 2. The character is slightly OOC, and the words and deeds do not match the identity and personality Avoidance: Match the character tag before writing 3. Vague stance, unclear inner preference Avoidance: Behavior reflects stance, no straightforward explanation 5. Ultimate minimalist self-check list 1. Directly enter the plot at the beginning, no redundancy 2. There are transitions in scene switching 3. No straightforward setting 4. Psychology is replaced by action description 5. The high-energy plot has a tight rhythm 6. There is foreshadowing for the character's behavior 7. Suspense is left at the end of the chapter Chapter 11-15 Common shortcomings + avoidance + enhancement 1. Core common shortcomings 1. There is no foreshadowing for the character's attitude change, the change of stance is blunt, and the motivation is weak 2. Fighting emphasizes process over texture, with few action details and lack of excitement 3. The lines and psychology are repetitive and redundant, slowing down the pace 4. The villain's logic is fuzzy, the purpose is swaying, and the connection is abrupt 5. The main and branch lines are unbalanced, there are many light scenes, and there is little information on the main line of the case 6. The key settings are mentioned more verbally and less on the ground. 2. Later avoidance 1. Eliminate unprepared reversals, change attitudes and add minimalist inner drama 2. Streamline ineffective mutual criticism and verbal dialogue 3. The villain has a clear core purpose and his behavior does not waver 4. Reduce repetitive psychology, only write one emotion once 5. Fighting complements the picture and details of the sense of power 6. Foreshadowing must be paid off, do not pile up randomly 3. Focus on strengthening the direction 1. Character logic: action binding motivation, action instead of expressing psychology 2. Rhythm control: tension-relaxation-clue cycle, deleting the plot 3. Suspense shaping: leaving hooks in each chapter, and burying the villain's lines 4. Scene description: strengthen the atmosphere, fighting, and environmental camera sense 5. Foreshadowing closed loop: collect clues every 3 chapters 6. Balance of group portraits: Supporting characters have independent roles and do not serve as backdrops 4. One-sentence summary Highlights: good atmosphere, stable character design, eye-catching reversal, and tense interaction Common faults: insufficient foreshadowing, loose rhythm, thin scenes, and blunt advancement Rectification: supplement motivation, delete redundancy, strengthen the picture, suppress foreshadowing, and stabilize character design Chapter 16-20 Disadvantages + Avoidance + Reminders 1. Common Core Disadvantages 1. Inadequate foreshadowing of character motivations, hard transitions, and easy separation 2. Uneven distribution of information, stacked settings or disconnection of the main line 3. The description of the highlight scene is thin, the details are missing, and the appeal is weak 4. The dialogue is straightforward and has no white space, and the sense of conspiracy is insufficient 5. The rhythm of inference and puzzle solving is poor, with lots of oral narration and no detailed derivation 6. The characters and roles are unbalanced, and the supporting roles are tool-humanized 7. The setting backlash explanation is lagging, and the logic is abrupt 2. Hard avoidance in the later stage 1. Eliminate unprepared emotional reversals and add micro-actions/inner drama 2. Split large sections of settings and add them to the plot 3. Streamline ineffective dialogues and fully serve the plot 4. Highlight scenes plus demeanor + physical sense + environmental enhancement 5. The villain's stance and purpose are unified throughout the whole process 6. Foreshadowing is thrown away and collected, without accumulation 7. The main plot runs through the whole process and is not disconnected from the branch plots 3. Key reminders 1. Ao Yunche's behavior is tied to the motive of forbearance and protection, not OOC; Lu Hong's emotions are gradual 2. Split the secret truth, not tell it all in one chapter 3. Leave blank narration, and rely on eyes and actions to reflect the conflict 4. Balance the scenes, supporting roles and independent actions 5. Preliminary settings and foreshadowing, no on-the-spot explanations 4. One-sentence core Problems: hard transitions, crowded settings, shallow descriptions, white lines, chaotic rhythm Rectification: add foreshadowing, remove information, fill in details, leave blank spaces, and remove foreshadowing Chapter 21-25 Collection of shortcomings + avoidance + key points 1. Common core shortcomings 1. The emotional stance changes abruptly, without transition, and the character is easily fragmented 2. Large sections of memories are piled up, the plot advances slowly, and the switching is abrupt 3. The description of the highlight scenes is too shallow, and the sense of atmosphere and appeal are insufficient 4. The lines are straightforward and there is no blank space, and the emotions are fully expressed 5. The key settings are thrown out temporarily, without any foreshadowing, and the logic is blunt 6. The villain's motives are vague, the tool person is heavy, and the image is flat 7. The main and branch lines are loose, and the unit drama takes up the space of the main line 2. Hard avoidance in the later stage 1. It is forbidden to reverse the mood without foreshadowing and add subtle expressions/inner dramas 2. Insert memories in fragments and refuse to pile up the whole paragraph 3. It is forbidden to highlight abbreviations and add atmosphere + details 4. It is forbidden to use straightforward lines and imply emotions through movements and eyes 5. It is forbidden to make temporary settings and bury details in advance 6. The villain's position and purpose are fixed and do not swing repeatedly 3. Key points must be changed 1. Character logic: stabilize the core character, and separate the supporting characters from the tool 2. Narrative rhythm: cut out invalid daily routines, compress memories, and promote the main line 3. Foreshadowing management: regularly recover clues such as clear mirrors and dragon scales 4. How to write famous scenes: focus on atmosphere, reduce direct lyricism 5. Villain plot: complete the motivation and interest relationship 4. One-sentence core Problems: too many memories, hard twists, shallow description, white lines, abrupt setting Rectification: reduce memories, add foreshadowing, polish highlights, leave blank space, and put away foreshadowing Chapter 26-35 Common faults + permanent avoidance 1. Core common faults 1. Scenes/perspectives are hard cut, no transitions, and reading is fragmented Rectification: Add minimalist transition sentences to all transitions 2. Zero foreshadowing of emotional behavior, forced plot introduction Rectification: Add minimal foreshadowing of character behavior first 3. The psychological description is redundant and repetitive, slowing down the pace Rectification: retain the key psychology and delete invalid thoughts 4. The highlight scenes are thin and the image has poor appeal Rectification: Fixed actions + expressions + environmental templates in the climax scene 5. The lines are straightforward and have no white space, and the tension is insufficient Rectification: three points of lines, seven points of action and eyes 6. The settings were temporarily dropped, and the logic was abrupt Rectification: All settings were buried in advance, and no on-the-spot science was conducted 2. Character creation issues 1. The villain's motives were vague and tool-like Rectification: The core target was locked, and the behavior was consistent throughout the whole process 2. The functionality of the supporting roles was weak Rectification: Allocate independent exploration and judgment of roles 3. Characters are easy to be OOC, and the character is repetitive Rectification: lock the character label, and match the words and deeds 3. Common plot rhythm problems 1. The main line and branch lines are loosely connected and deviate from the core Rectification: the main line runs through, and the branch lines assist the main line 2. The information is unevenly distributed, and the pace is fast and slow Rectification: split the clues evenly, and advance each chapter 3. Foreshadowing is thrown away but not collected, and the accumulation is chaotic Rectification: throw out one item and receive another, and recycle regularly 4. One-sentence summary Quit: hard cuts, no foreshadowing, redundant psychology, straightforward lines , highlight abbreviation, airborne setting, tool man, rhythm chaos Replaced with: transition, foreshadowing, action psychology, blank space, atmosphere, foreshadowing, three-dimensional character design, main line priority Chapter 36-45 Summary of common features in ten chapters 1. Flaws in narrative writing 1. Frequent sharp cuts in scene perspectives, no transition Rectification: transitions must include connecting sentences 2. Large sections of memories are piled up, interrupting the main line Rectification: memories are fragmented, and scenes trigger flashbacks 3. The atmosphere rendering is weak, and the highlights have no texture Rectification: climax plus environment + sensory + expression details 4. The proportion of lines is too high, and there are many invalid dialogues Rectification: streamline the nonsense, action and demeanor replace expressions 2. Emotional & writing issues 1. Emotions are exposed directly, without any blank space Rectification: micro-movements + environmental contrast, do not write emotions directly 2. Psychological fragments are repeated, interrupting the rhythm Rectification: retain necessary psychology, delete redundant complaints 3. Set up oral science popularization, like a manual Rectification: Integrate plot, appearance, encounters, no verbal explanation 3. Plot logic & rhythm issues 1. The plot relies on coincidences, and the logic is loose Rectification: Key events are buried in advance, and deliberate coincidences are reduced 2. The foreshadowing is only thrown away, and the clues are confusing Rectification: Throw one out and accept the other, do not dig holes endlessly 3. The main line and branch lines are unbalanced, and the protagonist is absent Rectification: The supporting character lines are interspersed with the actions of the protagonist, and the priority is maintained 4. The truth is explained straightforwardly, without a sense of exploration Rectification: Fragmentary clues are deduced layer by layer, without a God's perspective IV. Shortcomings in character creation 1. Newcomers/abilities are parachuted in, no foreshadowing Rectification: Details are buried in advance, no temporary appearance 2. Supporting role tool person, no independent stance Rectification: Add personal thoughts and independent reactions 3. The villain is flat and has insufficient motivation Rectification: foreshadow obsession in advance and close the logic loop 4. The character's behavior is abrupt and there is no transition Rectification: add demeanor/psychological foreshadowing to key actions 5. The ultimate summary in one sentence Quit: hard cuts, large chunks of memories, straightforward emotions, redundant lines, oral settings, plot coincidences, and lurking Accumulation of pens, absence of protagonists, lack of supporting roles, and thin villains Replaced with: transitions, fragmented flashbacks, hidden details, action priority, plot integration and setting, logical foreshadowing, timely closing of threads, clear priorities, three-dimensional group portraits, and closed-loop character design Chapter 46-50 Unified shortcomings + improvement 1. Common narrative and rhythm problems 1. Set up a large straightforward narrative, poor sense of substitution 2. Insufficient preparation for the climax conflict, weak impact 3. Redundant dialogue, low information density 4. Weak scene atmosphere, insufficient sense of picture 2. Character creation flaws 1. Supporting characters are tool people, the background is flat, and the group portraits are poor 2. The villain's motivation is insufficient, and his behavior has a strong sense of parachute 3. The character's psychology is straightforward and there is no blank space 3. Plot logic & foreshadowing issues 1. Reversal of secrets is hasty and there is no hint in the previous text 2. There are too many foreshadowings and poor recycling, and it is easy to end 3. The plot is driven by coincidence, and the logic is blunt 4. Issues with writing details 1. The writing style is fragmented and the style is not unified 2. Perspectives are randomly cut, and reading is broken 5. Minimalist one-sentence summary Quit: straightforward setting, no foreshadowing for the climax, nonsense dialogue, supporting roles, empty villain motives, abrupt twists, and foreshadowing No closure, random switching of perspectives Changed to: hidden plot setting, foreshadowing, streamlined dialogue, supporting roles with details, villain closed loop, reversal with traces, timely closing of the thread, smooth transition Chapter 51-55 Collection of advantages and disadvantages 1. Overall advantages (keep zooming in) 1. The characters are full of tension, and the group portraits interact naturally 2. The dual-line narrative is mature, and the foreshadowing is well connected 3. The famous scenes have a strong sense of drama and the atmosphere is online 4. The dialogues are high-quality and no nonsense 2. Overall shortcomings (rectification) 1. Dual-line switching is blunt and no transition 2. Straightforward setting + psychological elaboration, insufficient white space 3. Supporting role tool man, no independent action 4. The villain's motivation is insufficient and the behavior is deliberate 5. The pre-climax preparation is weak and the impact is insufficient 6. Emotional descriptions are straightforward and repetitive 3. Correction formula Two lines must be transitioned, the setting is integrated into the plot, psychology relies on details, supporting roles and actions, the villain is buried early, the climax is foreshadowed first, the emotions are not straightforward Chapter 56-60 Overview of advantages and disadvantages 1. Overall advantages (continued to retain) 1. The character is completely established, and the contrast between the characters is strong 2. Famous scenes are densely packed, and the drama is full of tension 3. The two-line narrative is mature, and the foreshadowing is complete in a closed loop 4. The emotions are delicate and the atmosphere is full 2. Overall shortcomings (rectification) 1. Large memories are forced into the plot, interrupting the main rhythm 2. The straightforward psychology is rampant, and the writing has no sense of high-end 3. Frequent scene switches and crude transitions 4. The motivations of the core characters are insufficient and the behavior is abrupt 5. The supporting characters still have traces of tool men and the action line is thin 6. The climax scene has weak impact and lacks details 3. Correction formula Memories are not forced, emotions do not rely on telling, transitions must be transitioned, villains bury the line early, supporting characters add details, and climax emphasizes atmosphere

It's too slow to publish chapter by chapter. I'll just summarize it. I have to read it today. If the author is really uninspired, you can use the published articles as practice to see if it will be better to apply and rewrite them (a small suggestion is to unify the images before and after the name to diversify and avoid the repetition of a single image. This reminds me of the example in a textbook issued by our high school. There may be some differences. After all, what I mentioned above is imagery. The picture below shows the color, but I think they still have something in common)

After analyzing the common problems in the first sixty chapters (summary), it will be updated later (under rapid compilation...) 😭😭 There are also corrections, I don't know if I missed a word 1. Core flaws (directly affecting the upper limit of the work) 2 , Long-term improvement and optimization items (to improve the quality, you need to pay attention to avoidance throughout the process) Mantra (direct comparison between writing a new chapter and revising the old article) Transitions must be made, foreshadowing in advance, setting and integrating the plot, emotion depends on details, holes must be filled, climax emphasizes atmosphere, supporting characters are added, and lines are non-verbal.