Immortal Crisis

This writing style, this story structure... Isn't this a novel that I would read in junior high school? Over the years, I have made progress in writing work-related fishing report articles. Why hasn't the writing style of online articles that veteran authors rely on improved? This is really like someone reposting a novel written more than ten years ago on the Internet... What's going on? No matter how bad the novels written by others are, you should always read them...

Generally speaking, people who behave and speak like adults, are very naive, get emotional easily, and conquer other worlds by relying on delicious food. What kind of ancient writing is this? The content is bland, and can't they come out when they are older? Just like high school students in Japanese anime, do they have to be fifteen or sixteen to come out? Can you become a centenarian at the age of ten in ten lifetimes? He claims that his actions and thinking are like adults, but his actions are very childish. The author is not just in his twenties.

It's still a cliché. The old author basically can't keep up with the times and has slipped away.

The first 60 chapters are a masterpiece, but the rest are pure white. The author's innovative ability and innovative thinking only lasted for more than 60 chapters. Something like a messy prince's rebellion, it feels like a joke. If I want to read Machiavellian writing, why don't I go to the historical district next door.

After seeing that the pet was named Kunzai, I gave up the book, because when I saw the name, I felt like I was seeing a person, which was too dramatic.

The writing is really bad and the logic has big problems. Because those children who drank the blood of fairy spirits will be accepted as disciples by the fairy sect? If there are monks who deliberately infect ordinary people with fairy cells, do they have to accept all of them as disciples? Dozens of infected people can still accept disciples? Hundreds, thousands, or tens of thousands of people in the entire city have been infected, and the Immortal Sect will accept them all?

The protagonist is not like a time traveler, he is just an aboriginal, and he makes a fuss when seeing an alien. Chapter 50 of The Prince Raises an Army is not as good as before.

It's hard for people who can't stand the Xianxia with panels

The author doesn't know how to write about court and military battles. Some common sense mistakes are embarrassing to watch. If you have to write, just write it in one stroke, and don't write down things you can't write.

The pig's feet in this book are so arrogant. He doesn't even know anything and thinks that his imagination is correct. It's like he was an immortal in his previous life.

The front is okay. Later, it would be awkward for the prince to raise an army. Originally, cultivating immortality means attributing great power to oneself. We must go to organize the army. Then the protagonist is very weak, so it would be more forceful to integrate the protagonist into the plot. For example, the protagonist's undercover scene. I think it's completely awkward and pointless. Then the protagonist of the plot of Warcraft Siege also forced himself into the scene. A secret guard organization that has been established for 20 years. Nothing. The whole organization went to the mountains to fight the tree demons. The protagonist is also forced to make up the numbers. Add drama. I don't know what to write next. I stayed up late to read the first hundred chapters without feeling sleepy at all. I can't even get excited afterward.

I hope I will write less about politics in the future, as the politics I write about are too childish. If it's just a transition here, forget it, if it can't be separated from the whole article... A little bit immovable

Some basic common sense still needs to be mastered

I am an old book friend. I started reading the online game "The Poison" and found a new book. The first 100 chapters are very good, but the author's fault has always been there. He is still not good at many things that he is not good at writing. After the Battle of the Imperial City, it became a highway novel. Readers of non-road novels will feel that the quality has declined, that is, it is watery. By the way, let me make another complaint. The idea of separation between immortals and mortals is unrealistic from a practical level. Because of the desire of mortals to cultivate immortality and the bondage of monks in the world of mortals, the emperor, ministers and people still forbid the cultivation of immortality until their life span is short. However, the emperor is very talented, and he will naturally feel that he is talented like the prince, but he is oppressed and cannot cultivate immortality. There is no The promotion channel will switch to magic cultivation, and the breeding method is also known to everyone. It is easy for powerful people to imprison 1,000 Qi practitioners to improve themselves. On the other hand, when the two countries are at war, the monks definitely don't want to see their hometown destroyed and their relatives and friends died tragically. It is easy to pass on information, and forced suppression will also lead to situations where they don't care about life and death for revenge. There is also the existence of demons and demonic cultivators. When two countries are fighting, the side that could have won encounters demons or demonic cultivators and loses. Should we intervene? A battle involving 400,000 troops was originally evenly matched, but one side hired a demon cultivator to assassinate the general and wipe out the opposing army. What should we do if we directly gain a huge advantage? Or if one party is unlucky and encounters a demon, what should we do if the general is instantly killed? A truce is impossible, because a truce favors the defender. The attacker has to bear extra logistics, military morale drops when fighting in a foreign country, the climate is not acclimatized, etc. If the truce lasts longer, it will not be possible to attack directly. The defender can increase its troops and agree on tactics, and the original surprise attack and other strategies will become a joke.

It was fine before, but after the prince's rebellion, the rhythm was messed up. The decisive battle in the imperial city was either unfolded or described sideways. Now it's neither better nor worse. There was no improvement after the final battle, and the subsequent solo work was a bit messy, with no story. The main line of killing monsters and upgrading did not move at all, just a running account.

After talking nonsense 🙂, after reaching the climax, I will talk nonsense for a while, and you will be reduced to 88 🙂

I really thought you would never write a book, and I was sad about it. Just start a new book, don't make it unfinished

I read the latest chapter. The protagonist doesn't want to kill more monsters and becomes invincible. I don't know why I keep thinking about these messy things. There are so many demons, one hundred and one are killed in a day, 36,500 are killed in a year to practice Qi, and 365 are built to build foundations. BUFF has already become invincible. You've killed all the monsters and monsters. With so many BUFFs, the Golden Elixir Demon can also be killed instantly. According to the 0.1% Attribute of the white most garbage BUFF, 36,500 is 36.5 Times the attribute. The protagonist now has 800 gods. After the buff is finished, he still has at least 400*36.5=14600 Attributes even if he doesn't take any extra. Any golden elixir can be destroyed in seconds with one sword strike, and hundreds of special effects can be triggered with one strike of the sword. Nothing looks bad now.

I just read Chapter 18, and I can't accept it. The attack on the villain's intelligence is too harsh, but seeing as the author is an old LV5 author, I'd like to ask if there are any book friends who have read more books if the follow-up is less poisonous, and I can't stand it 😥.

The writing style has the feel of many years ago. The cynical state of the protagonist and the carefree speaking style give off the air of a second-rate person who has been reborn and cannot be restrained. It is impossible to be steady. This style of description directly makes me more than ten years younger.

The previous Xinyi could add poison resistance and poison immunity as soon as he awakened the wood spirit root, and then the author backhandedly chose poison flame?

Why don't you write about online games? I've read every one before.

Support 🙂

However, I would like to mention one thing. The protagonist's point of killing monsters and obtaining BUFF has been seriously diluted. This should be the core. Write a lot less BUFF, I think it is unreasonable. For the sake of plot, the numerical system was lost. At that time, my evaluation dropped by two levels. Fortunately, the creativity is very good, and the writing is relatively innovative. It is still a good book, but the results will definitely not be better.

The shortcomings do not hide the good points, the grades must have improved somewhat, the writing is still good, there are some bad points, but the overall situation is noticeable. I hope to grasp the rhythm well, and pave the way for major events and passive growth, world advancement, etc. Alternately. I feel that it is not comfortable to watch at the moment because the plot has no sense of urgency and feels a little watery. It advances slowly and there is basically no foreshadowing. It is all peaceful. For example, if you accept a pet and hold a conference, the foreshadowing is just a third eye that visits multiple times and then there are no details. There is basically no foreshadowing and the prince has done nothing. Then, the plot that advances smoothly does not feel structured enough. The rebels are not like the rebels, and the emotional line is also the same, and the perception plummets. I hope the outline will be longer and more interesting, and the rhythm will be tighter. In fact, if the background is enlarged, there is no need to suppress it (the ability to hang is actually quite outrageous, but if you increase the subsequent realm b, then you don't have to suppress the protagonist's hang) It is common to enlarge the background, such as the visit of the third eye. There is another purpose, there is a big hole in the aura, the path to immortality is cut off, the background of the universe is a dark forest where people are fighting for survival, and there are many more. There is too little foreshadowing, even if there is an outline, the new things that appear later will have a sense of technological deity. With more information, even a dull plot will be much better, and a big event later will be better. At present, it seems that food and grass are available.

Let more people see this book.

Fuck, it turns out to be you, the devil of private customization seems to have stopped updating for a year.

I just read Chapter 12, and I don't understand why the protagonist would do this when he is still a noob. I don't know if you can understand it when you are asleep. If you are scared and can't save people, you can understand it without alerting the snake and shaking people. But you can obviously save people, why should the child risk his life to be a decoy? I owe you? Do you have any benefits in exchange? Do you have the ability to protect your child's life if things go wrong? Is the child willing? In other words, I saved you out of love and not out of duty, but this disaster was probably caused by you dragging me to the city. Even if it's to save other children! But do you know if they are dead or alive? Do you know you can beat it? Do you have experience fighting monsters and evil cultivators? Why did you get involved when you obviously saw someone handling this matter? Are you better suited to tracking a floating ghost than a bird? After all, you won't get any experience if you don't do this. NPCs can be refreshed even if they die.

The front part is very good-looking, the pace is tight, there are no irritating points, the story is interesting, and the characters are relatively three-dimensional. But when it comes to the final battle between the emperor and the aliens, it feels particularly rushed. Logically speaking, it would be reasonable to put such a big showdown in the final chapter, but the author puts such a big scene in the middle, as if the opening animation is in the front and the game itself is in the back. There is no problem with this design when playing games, but when reading a book, after experiencing such a big scene in the front and then suddenly entering such a bland scene in the back, it feels very boring. At that time, I thought that after the big showdown, the protagonist would get an alien spaceship, quickly solve the problem of demonic pollution, and then go on an interstellar voyage. But in the end, he was still hanging around in such an environment in the early stages of cultivating immortality. The contrast between before and after was really too great.

Lao Yao's new book! After reading the beginning, it still suits my personal taste. I don't ask for explosive updates or anything, I just want to be able to stabilize two chapters a day. You can also write a note if you have something to do. 🤝