Cultivation of Immortality Begins with Collecting Qi and Creating Fortune

A novice author, the setting is innovative, and the writing is very careful (with great craftsmanship). At present, there is basically no bad point (because the author is more willing to listen to advice, and those who like to tease the author can fall into the trap), and there are situations where it caters to vulgar settings (a common problem in online novels). The latter part is where I think the problem lies. Brothers can just go in and read the book. Reading two chapters of the book is more direct than watching me compete. At present, the food is not irritating to the eyes. The author's writing skills are actually pretty good, but he is obviously a novice. I have already cut two copies, but I still don't realize the real problem. Online novels are generally full-length novels, and the most important thing about long novels is the storyline. Whether to bring a female cultivator or not is not the issue at all. This is the same thing as the widespread "female protagonist problem" - there is a big problem with the portrayal of female characters. The fundamental reason is that the portrayal of passerby supporting characters is not very good, let alone important supporting characters or even second-class protagonists. How to portray the character image? I have been taught by high school Chinese teachers. (The language description and action description in this book are often so abrupt that they lead to misunderstandings. This can be seen in the review of this chapter. The psychological description is written in the shape of a narration analysis, which has already been criticized by my brother.) It is impossible to complete the language and action description at once, so it is better to focus on the more important thing - the plot. The current long main line seems to only have the main character's training and travel line, and there are basically no short side lines, and they don't have much grip (I'm not at all curious about the plot behind it). In general, he is currently a low-level forage, but he is a living writer and he listens to advice.

To collect energy and make elixirs, I only use Qianzhu, which is amazing and stunning.

Have an idea. You can collect the righteous qi of Haoran, the pure qi of the Nine Heavens, the qi of the Nine Heavens Clouds, the qi of merit, the qi of the Sun Shaoyang, the qi of light, the qi of the Taiyin Shaoyin, etc. And combine them to refine the Qingyun of the Heavens.

It's impossible to collect ordinary spiritual energy, right? Then other spiritual energy should be harvestable! Can't we collect the purple energy in the morning, the aura of the changing moon at dusk, and noon, etc.? The special spiritual energy written by the author is difficult to collect, and other spiritual energy has requirements, methods, etc.

I'm speechless. You're really speechless when you write like this. You're always poisonous, so your grades are bad.

The plot of the female ghost can be passed over in passing. If you have to add more plots, most of the plots of men and women cultivating immortals are a piece of shit, and the foreplay is too long. If it weren't for the earlier part of the writing, I wouldn't have read it at all. Then when it came to the plot of the female ghost, it was all ruined, and I would not be interested in reading anymore.

I read it in one sitting, it's pretty good, the subject matter and writing are very good, I have some personal opinions, please forgive me. In terms of chapter layout: Before the protagonist Jin Dan, he was confined to the county-by-county fly-camp Gogou, which was pretty good! But after Jin Dan, the space should be slowly expanded, and the map should also be slowly expanded. Although it has been expanded to between states, it still feels like the three or two sects are singing, and the grand layout feels a bit small! There should be sects in directions such as southeast, northwest, etc. The world is so huge that you cannot go there without the teleportation array! It takes half a lifetime for the golden elixir to fly to the boundary of the world! Now it feels like the world is too small. It won't be long before a golden elixir can fly back and forth, a god can come and go, and a look can be refined! Lianxu's name gives people a high status, but the world always gives people a feeling: the world is too small and the pattern is not big! Layout suggestions: Use big words! The layout is exaggerated, even if it is just a Zhongqian World, it is not so small! It feels like I can reach the mountains within a few steps! The map is so cramped! The bigger the map, the higher the strength of the forces, otherwise there will be no pleasure in cultivating immortality! From the rhythm of the story: I feel that the author is leaning towards the ancient story of cultivating immortality! So heaven, underworld, human race, monster race, demon race, ghost race, witch race, dragon race and so on! Write down the battles and calculations that need to be made bigger! Stance, power, family, sect, the upper world comes to gild (to open up a new world of heaven and earth), the fight for the status of this world, the fight for luck, etc.! For example, didn't the previous article say that the world's barriers have become thicker? Then adding the Kyushu Realm to promote the Great Thousand World is not too much! Only after refining the void can you ascend to the Mahayana realm! Write grandly! Rhythm suggestions: To control the pace of cultivating immortality, the appearance of characters, the struggle between forces, etc., You can write about it in one stroke. Regarding the exciting points about the participation of the protagonist, write down what should be written ✍🏻; after the recovery of the ancient tribes and the fate of the outside forces (the heaven, the demon gate, the dragon tribe in the underworld, etc.) And the world expands, you can write about the secret realm of the ancient sect integrating into the world, traveling from the mountains to the sea, moving to the stars and changing places, etc.! Mingquan Mountain can be added to the creation of spiritual beings to rise and flourish, move mountains to sects, etc. You can write it! The world is vast, dynasties in the mortal world are changing, the stars are sending disciples and disciples down to earth, and the era of great strife is written! Qingsongguan passively or actively participates in Fulongting (disciples of Tonghuai and Meng families) and so on! You can also write about the protagonist traveling and bringing his disciples back to the mountains. The number of disciples in a generation can be written as Qingsong Seven Sons/Nine Sons! Everyone's destiny is different, and so are their fortunes! From the perspective of the development of the sect: The sect feels too small and has too few disciples! There should be more disciples of the first generation! It can be brought back from travels, rescued by the protagonist and traveled across mountains and rivers to become a disciple, there are dragon/phoenix monsters, stars in the sky and earth, catastrophes and luck, and finally being forced to become a demon/rebellion and convert to Buddhism, etc.! The Qingsong Seven Sons/Nine Sons are all different! You can add a plot like this: the Seventh Son/Ninth Son gather together, the old Qingsong bears 10 pine cones for the first time, the master of Qingsong Monastery Li Yun divides the pine cones under the tree, and later disciples create a famous painting: The Seventh Son/Ninth Son of the Patriarch divides the pine cones! (The painting was later injected with different energies by Qingsong Seventh Son/Ninth Son) These 10 pine cones were later refined individually, with different powers! In later generations, the descendants of their seventh/nine sons will have different stories! Back to business! A generation of seven/nine disciples! Enough development! The sect does not have to relocate, as mentioned above. The sect recommends: Do not move from the original location, but only expand or upgrade Mingquan Mountain! Add a new generation of disciples! Build the Sutra Pavilion and move the spiritual veins of the volcano and fire veins of Lingshan Mountain. Although the protagonist's supernatural powers are created by the furnace of creation, after the protagonist understands thoroughly, he can form the corresponding magic formula and put it in the Sutra Pavilion for the disciples to practice! For example: pass down the simple Qi Sensing Technique and Qi Gathering Technique, and collect the corresponding spiritual energy cultivation magic seeds! Etc! ❣️⭐From the perspective of the protagonist's practice⭐❣️:The protagonist practices good fortune and has just realized that it is not difficult to enter the golden elixir, but good fortune not only allows trees to take root and sprout! You can let the protagonist cultivate the five qi in the golden elixir and at the same time master the magical powers of controlling the five elements. At the same time, he can also cultivate magical powers such as wind, thunder, poison, swordsmanship, etc.! Transform into gods and cultivate the transformation of physical properties such as yin and yang, demons, demons, ghosts, witches, dragons, etc., Return to the void and cultivate the way of time and space (universe)! Introduction to Mahayana Creation and Ascension! Arrange opportunities for the protagonist Practice suggestions for the protagonist: The Yan Shen Jue combines all kinds of 'righteous' energy in the world and becomes a little abnormal! There is only one Buddha Qi now! Integrate Haoran's righteousness! Righteous Dragon Qi, Righteous Demonic Qi, Righteous Demonic Qi, Pure Dao Qi and so on! Let's give the protagonist some physical training techniques! All-round development, various incarnations, clones, etc. In the later stage. In the later stage, the protagonist becomes an ancestor and can also participate in the world sideways. When he ascends to the fairy world, he will write the fairy world chapter! Write a world of great strife! The tribulation energy sprouts and manifests itself in all aspects! During the protagonist's retreat, he wrote the stories of the Seventh Son/Ninth Son of Qingsongguan, etc.! The above is my personal opinion, sorry if it disturbs me!

The writing is not good and I am tired of reading! Let's talk about that ancient battlefield! After the monk in front said about the ancient battlefield, the protagonist immediately made an oath! It made me confused! Then the author starts to explain why! You've obviously reversed the order! You can do it when the monk talks about the ancient battlefield. The protagonist immediately showed shock, his face expressionless, the ancient battlefield! ! ! And then a lot of explanations! Making an oath. That's right. Rather than explaining nothing and the protagonist swearing directly! The writing is a bit confusing in many places. It is obvious that the author wrote it alone and sent it directly without drafting! Lack of foundation foundation.

With such a creative golden finger like Gathering Qi and Transforming Treasures, the author should focus the main plot development on the protagonist. At the beginning of the joint fight between Fox and Jie Xiu, the positioning of the protagonist was a bit wrong, that is, the main role of the protagonist was not revealed. That's more or less the case later. It's easy to accept disciples. The protagonist is less than twenty years old, with some kind of mountain range at his back and a golden finger. Readers' expectations should be that the protagonist will have various adventures and various adventures. But the development of the plot generally has nothing to do with the protagonist. Encountering a fox, controlling demonic energy in a temple, viewing a golden elixir, viewing a lake, floods, etc., The protagonist's position is not prominent in a series of events. It's just an indescribable feeling of discomfort, a feeling of neither getting up nor getting down.

I've only read a few chapters and the writing is pretty good. It's a pity that this platform does not provide essay writing. Some so-called great gods are unable to speak clearly. They cannot differentiate between subject, predicate and object, and cannot understand definite sentences. When encountering something that cannot be expressed clearly, always add the invincible suffix - "the existence of", which is a wonder!

The overall look is that she is petty and the nanny has gone too far! What's the point of taking in those three disciples? Can't help at all! It makes you look bad to ask for help all day long! From childhood to old age? All the elixirs and magic weapons are taken care of! I can see the flavor of martial arts! There's nothing magical about it! Go in if others tell you to go in on that mountain! Just leave! Formations, elixirs, alchemy, talismans, nothing? It all depends on the protagonist? There are almost no traditional immortal spells! It's magical power when you take action!

Several times I was talking about one thing and then skipped to another thing without any transition, which was inexplicable.

Using modern values ​​​​to write about the world of cultivating immortals is rubbish

Is it the Dharma-ending era? How can one cultivate immortality if it is so difficult to collect spiritual energy? Go ahead and drive the screws

I thought it was strange to refine spiritual energy in the Dantian, but one day a passing immortal cultivator discovered that this furnace was extraordinary, so the protagonist lost his valuable treasure and was killed.

It's too big. If you go to the riverside, you'll have a lot of energy every day. You'll find treasures every day. You don't need to fight with people for resources and skills. You can just go out to collect wind every day.

This book is well written, but unfortunately I am sluggish and only like realistic and rational protagonists.

It's not like taking the incense path. It has too much contact with the villagers. It's better to cultivate immortality. It feels like an urban novel 🥱

The idea of ​​collecting gas is a good one. It's a pity that the author's writing style is not good and his conception is not good.

It's too popular, too classical, it's all about the trivial matters of ordinary people, and there is no class in the world of cultivating immortals.

The structure of the whole novel is very good. But the author has no idea what to think. Do you want to be good at numbers or are you just not good enough? Most of it is bullshit. The description of the fight in the editing room is a mess. The logic is not clear. A mess. Too much nonsense. The whole world is filled with chatter.

Updates are too unstable, I dare not subscribe

The introduction is good. I don't want to use the cheat in Dantian at the beginning. I like to take it out and use it. I am not afraid of being discovered by synthesizing treasures.

This update is the same as constipation. Either go directly to the eunuch or write a note if something happens.

This novel is very creative, but the entire scene of cultivating immortals is not spread out enough, and the description of the scene is very limited. I suggest that this aspect can be improved in the future.

The protagonist has such a genius idea! Selling spiritual wine at an auction, but I am afraid that the price will be high and I will be offended!

This plug-in is too buggy and difficult to write well. Collecting qi to make elixirs is very good, but the magical power of refining weapons and magic weapons is really a bit nonsense, and the whole thing is made out of nothing.

Wen Zou Zou's plug-ins are innovative and rare. But the plot of the novel is bland, like boiled water, and I have no interest in reading it.

The protagonist has a plug-in to practice. His disciple can practice faster than his master when he is 7 or 8 years old. From reading to practicing, he can master the golden elixir in just a few years. Even a 10-year-old chicken who has been practicing for several years can defeat all the golden elixirs? What the heck is written at the end.

Why are there so many things, including ancient battlefields and drug battles?