There's Something Wrong with This Journey to the West

It's a little bit written and hard to understand... It's better to write something else and pretend to be like Journey to the West, but in the end it's all incomprehensible.

After reading a few pictures, I can say that emotional description is a weak point. In the first few shots, the protagonist's first feeling when seeing Wang Kui's body should not be anger, but panic and fear. This is what a normal modern person should feel. Because, firstly, Wang Kui and the protagonist had no interaction at all before, and secondly, Wang Kui seemed to have no interaction with the protagonist before he possessed him, and the protagonist did not inherit his memory, so he was simply a stranger. As a normal modern person living in a peaceful era, when the protagonist saw a stranger die, even if he knew that he was eaten by a monster, the miserable death scene should make him fear and panic, not anger. Unless he is the kind of person who takes it as his own duty to save the world, is extremely hostile to the demon clan, and is a middle school boy, but obviously, the protagonist is not such a person. So the idea is OK, but the writing is not so good.

Many readers may have become addicted to the Five Elements Mountain section. I don't like the protagonist's character very much. The plot is blunt and forced to become cunning. Why do you like to make the plot of Journey to the West so chaotic? Isn't it enough for you to write about a grassroots time traveler turning into a prehistoric boss? If you take too long a step, it's easy to talk nonsense. 🤫

I have read Chapter 26 so far. I would like to give some suggestions to the author. Discussions are welcome: 1. The props and helpers appear too fast in the monkey copy, making it difficult for readers to keep up; the same goes for magical powers. The pace can be slowed down appropriately. The protagonist can use one piece for a period of time. I'm currently reading Chapter 26, and the iron crown I got before suddenly doesn't show up at all. Then a bunch of props and helpers popped out and it looked really messy. The pace of writing can also be slower. For example, fighting 5 people at the same time and asking the protagonist to help is a moderate laugh. But if it is written too fast, the plot will have passed before the reader can laugh. 2. I feel that the fairy spirit that the gods should have is not reflected at present. The look and feel is not much different from reading Jianghu novels. For example, in Chapter 25, the protagonist is not surprised that the Bodhisattva knows his name but is surprised that his hiding place is exposed. I think in this kind of supernatural novel, the magical power of calculating people's names in this life is higher than the magical power of discovering the protagonist's hiding place... There is no problem, but I think it can highlight the differences between these gods and Buddhas and ordinary people. Otherwise, it is just a Jianghu novel with the appearance of gods and monsters. Since the theme of gods and monsters is chosen, it will be more brilliant if it highlights some fairy spirit. 3. The protagonist is somewhat thoughtless. Liu Boqin has a wife and an old mother, so how could he follow your protagonist and his group to an untouchable place? The protagonist shouldn't ask, as he looks like a brat. The same goes for climbing over the wall at night in the Monkey Dungeon. Your enemy is a Buddha, how could he not sense that you go out at night? A little too reckless. You can consider making the protagonist more mature. In the future, you can also have more ways to deal with emergencies besides fighting and killing, so that it will not be easy for viewers to feel fatigued. Journey to the West even has some interesting plots such as the Kingdom of Women. 4. Also, a small suggestion, don't add the word "level" to the world of gods and Buddhas. It is also very easy for a monk to directly address someone as a Zen master. Adding a level is always a bit of a drama. Other than that, the writing is good! It's a rare book that can be read. Come on, author

How can I put it this way? The creativity of the book is great, and the dungeon mechanism is very interesting. It's a pity that the author has gone over many details in one go and didn't delve into the dungeon, which makes it seem anticlimactic. There are good ideas but they are not displayed. It's a pity.

Very nice🤭🤭

The author's aura of wisdom is too high. As long as Tang Seng says a word, an expression, an action, or a state, all the characters become mindless and unhappy.

Thank you to the book friends for your support. I ask you to look back and read the data. I am very grateful.

"Ask the Bodhisattva why he sits upside down and sighs that all living beings refuse to look back." "I have already turned into a pig, why are you still unwilling to let me go? Could it be that the world is so big that there is no place for me in the end!" "Liu Li Zhan, I have almost restored the Liu Li Zhan! Hahahahaha, I can return to heaven, haha. Hahaha!" "Tathagata, you dare to lie to me! Tathagata, you dare to lie to me!" "We will not succumb to your arrangements even if we die!" "Why do I see nothingness and coldness in your eyes?"

Is it my misunderstanding? I seem to have read this introduction to this book somewhere.

The overall idea is good, but because the protagonist's abilities and IQ are too high... I can only add a system, but the logic of the plot setting is still not saved... It's hard to stick to it.

Overall it's pretty good, but what did Tang Sanzang say? ? ? Who is the protagonist?

Going to Dragon Girl's place has changed a bit, so I say goodbye.

Asking the Bodhisattva why he fell down from his seat, he sighed that all sentient beings refused to look back

Why do gods shout when they fight? Even the soldiers in American TV dramas all have earphones to communicate with each other. Why do you, a god, not even know how to transmit your spiritual thoughts, and still shout out when you ask your companions to do something?

Damn it, I just realized that I was raised to death. Why is it gone after 58 chapters? 😭 I really like this kind of journey to the west.

Is the test push coming? I'm chasing it now at 3.40

I'm from Tieba, come on! The plot is very compact and the setting of Goldfinger is also very good.