I Became a Native's Golden Finger

Author, there is a reason why your grades are not good. In the section about Piccolo the Devil, you were too self-satisfied. I skipped that paragraph and couldn't stand it at all. The writing was pretty good before, but why did I suddenly become so excited about it? The boss of the protagonist is also a poisonous point. You don't have the writing skills to handle the role of the boss well. I suggest you just don't write it, or I can't see the use of a boss at all. Because poor writing is a poisonous point. If you have time, go and change Piccolo's part. I really can't stand it. A good mastermind is a mastermind, and don't make the protagonist look like a psychopath.

After more than 30 chapters, I played a trial game and it went to one side.

The one downstairs, your statement is a bit wrong. Now the protagonist needs to develop. The prerequisite for the benefits that the protagonist can get is the death of the host. I want the host to continue to develop as you said. The premise is that the protagonist has the ability to erase, otherwise it would be impossible. You can't support someone to the point where you can't control them. That would be very tragic, and the protagonist needs to accumulate early. After you have the obliteration workers, you can raise a powerful host.

I think the author took it for granted. When I read Chapter 60 or 70, I just wanted to know who was behind the scenes. But when you came out, you were like Big Devil Piccolo and had all kinds of obscene thoughts, which made me lose interest in reading. You have selected a group of readers in the first fifty chapters, and then driven away a group of selected readers. Speechless

At first, I actually felt that the protagonist's idea was inappropriate. After all, improving the host's strength as quickly as possible can also expend energy quickly. It is considered an investment. Who knew that it would be slapped in the face so quickly and the host would die directly.

This world can be written according to the text of the game. For example, these two people return to reality and discover that they can improve their genetic level. Then it slowly becomes popular again, and then it becomes a game for everyone. As for the final ending, it depends on how you write it? Is it to help this world clean up the monsters in the other world, or to clean it halfway and then find a new world?

The beginning is great and amazing, the middle is okay, but the latest chapter is not that good, and it gets worse as it goes on, and updates are slow, which makes the plot completely incoherent. It looked good some time ago, but then I forgot about it after catching up on it, and I didn't feel it anymore when I played it again today.

It felt pretty good at first. Then the source energy point collapsed. The burial time of 1:60 was not detailed later. Then I spent a long time writing a female supporting role. Then died. Either don't write this. I wrote it over and over again, which made me very unhappy. The people being used as tools by the two planets haven't even noticed yet. I can't stand it. Slipping away

It is still recommended that there be fewer poems. Whenever you see a fighting scene or a plot, it will be very scary if the protagonist directly writes a poem. This is not a literary work. It's okay to say a few words now and then. But it gets a little boring after too much. And those characters from other books. It seems outrageous. Then I felt like it was the world of Shenwu. The writing of those mythical beasts is a bit low. With the level of the characters in this world. It feels a bit mismatched.

The idea is good, and the writing is very good in the early stage Then it becomes more routine Especially in the selection game, it is really a trick.