My Masters Are All Great Villains

Seven people lived on this mountain. One was a monk who ate meat, drank wine, killed people, and set fires. One was a mysterious fisherman known as the Dragon King. One was a scholar whose paintings became real, a divine brush worthy of Ma Liang. One was a beauty who could entrance the world and transform into countless forms. One was a master thief who could steal from heaven and swap the sun and moon, his hands so nimble they seemed to vanish. One was a peerless sword saint with a bit of a chuunibyou streak. And one was a mysterious demigod, capable of anything. One day, a young man climbed the mountain to study under them. The cheeky protagonist said to the monk: “Once upon a time, there was a mountain. On the mountain was a temple, and in the temple lived a handsome monk. Handsome, but never vying for spring; he only comes to announce its arrival.” To the fisherman, he said: “Dragon King? You there? Can you spray water? Can you use the Divine Needle of Taiyi? Can you make your mouth crooked?” To the scholar, he said: “Paint a big window on this dreary room, then paint a bed. Paint a girl to keep me company, paint a girl to keep me company, paint a girl to keep me company...” Protagonist: Dead.