Rumors

[Preliminary score] 75 points [Number of words read] About 8.3W (30 chapters)/8.3W words have been read [Type of work] Female channel • The Romance of Fairy Tales·Classical Fairy Tales [Work Status] Serialized to Chapter 30 [Author]{"NickName":"Chan" ,"UserId":308126051} [Commentator] Zero Two Lu Shiyi …………………………………… 1. Introduction to the book title (15/20 points) ★Attractiveness of the book title (6/8 points)  The title of the book is concise, elegant and catchy, and the word "Tao" fits the book's theme of cultivating immortality. ★Book title and text (2/2 points) Based on the word "ballad" in the heroine's name, the title can be directly understood as "the heroine's pursuit of the Tao (cultivating immortality)", which concisely summarizes the content of the book. "Ballad" also means "singing without accompaniment", which left me with the impression of "popular and worthy of praise". ★The introduction is eye-catching (5/8 points) First, it succinctly summarizes the four stages of the heroine's growth in twenty-four words, and then uses "a mystery from a hundred thousand years ago" to set up suspense. Finally, it sums up domineeringly, "Watch how the heroine goes from being unknown to attaining enlightenment, and composes a unique song." This echoes the title of the book. ★Introduction and text (2/2 points) The first four sentences of the introduction are used as the titles of each volume of the text, which correspond to the different growth stages of the heroine. It can be seen that the author has a very clear design for the overall structure of the story. The suspense in the introduction is just right, making it clear at a glance that this is a story in which the heroine continues to become stronger and at the same time gradually reveals the truth of the unsolved case of the year. ☆Summary of book title introduction (15/20 points) ①The book title introduction is concise, meaningful, and directly points to the selling point. ……………………………………………… 2. Plot content (25/30 points) ★The first flash: clever plot design The plot design shows the author's careful conception. The plot progresses very smoothly, and various foreshadowings and hidden lines are intertwined without appearing messy. The opening chapter is very gripping, with terrors on the road at night, the supernatural "Festival of Gods" passed down by word of mouth, and discussions among diners about various legends of the "Festival of Gods"... Constantly setting up suspense and adding mystery to the rest of the story. The subsequent plot development clues are clear and logical. ★The second flash: the brushwork is delicate and true The author's writing style is good, the description is delicate and true, and it has a sense of picture. For example, the description of the life in Xishi Town is full of humane fireworks; there is also an impressive description of the spider swarm in Cai Ziku, the heroine's section. "Each one's eyes lit up and they rushed this way." "Extremely fast and very flexible." "Densely packed" and "crawling all over the body"... The delicate description made my hair stand on end, my spine went cold, and I felt chills... ★The third flash: the narrative is natural and smooth Thanks to the careful conception and the author's good writing style, the narrative is smooth, with ups and downs, and you won't feel tired after reading it in one breath, and there are even a lot of things that are left unfinished. The author's ability to break chapters has begun to take shape... ★The fourth flash: beautiful description of scenery The author is very good at using delicate description of scenery to achieve the desired artistic effect. For example, when the heroine is walking at night in the opening chapter, "the lights are like fireflies flying far away, flickering and getting dimmer", which is a subtle metaphor, and at the same time creates a nervous and uneasy atmosphere; another example is that in Xitongcheng, "the sky is blue and blue, as deep as an unusually calm sea, with no waves", which gives people a strong psychological suggestion that "something big is about to happen", allowing readers to immerse themselves in the "calm before the storm" created by the author. ………………………………………… 3. Character creation (25/30 points) ★Flash fifth bullet: three-dimensional and vivid characters This book, whether it is the protagonist or the supporting role, has got rid of facial makeup and instrumentality. The protagonist is vivid and lively, and the supporting characters have their own personalities. "Seeing the big from the small", the author is very good at portraying characters through some details. For example, when Zhao Peng appeared on the scene, he inserted a few lines of "the heroine deliberately caught the cold to teach Zhao Peng a lesson", which showed the cleverness and cunning of the heroine who was living at the bottom, but did not appear to be a worldly person; another example is that the heroine encountered Wan Yongfu who was seriously injured on the road. The description in just a few paragraphs paved the way for the rest of the story, and the image of the heroine who is calm and decisive and able to distinguish right from wrong also emerges vividly on the page. The description of the supporting characters is also remarkable. For example, the heroine's father never officially appears, but the longing that the heroine naturally expresses every time she has a breakthrough, and the "red string" as a token that is also an important clue, appear frequently. The image of a loving father who has to leave his daughter is deeply imprinted in the minds of readers, and at the same time, readers are full of expectations for the plot of "meeting the father again". The minor characters also have flesh and blood. For example, Li Zhu wanted to sell the heroine to a flower girl when he saw her beauty. He first avoided the heroine with a guilty conscience, and then continued to convince himself with fallacies. The whole process of thinking that "this is the truth" very realistically describes the psychological process of the villain's fall. ………………………………………… 4. Detailed issues (10/20 points) ★The first step in finding faults: some inappropriate wording Some of the author's wording is very inconsistent. Such low-level mistakes should not occur based on the author's literary background. For example, "red light surrounded Bai Yao's entire body", why not just say "whole body" for "whole body"; for another example, "show no mercy", it should be "show no mercy"; for the frequently occurring "put your thoughts deep in your heart", wouldn't it be more concise to use "squeeze your thoughts" (for example)? Inappropriate expressions such as the above can easily cause drama, and the author needs to be more careful in choosing words and sentences. ★The second issue of finding faults: repetition of certain expressions It is not that the author's writing style is lacking in vocabulary, but I don't know whether it is due to the formation of usage habits, and the expressions of the same thing are repeated in many places in the article. For example, every time Su Yue appeared on the stage, he would "sneer" or show a "cool smile". This kind of "smile" once made me feel like I was tuned to the channel of the domineering president; there was also the "calm" after the conflict between Ji Ninglan and Fu Lingzong: calm expression, calm eyes with inquiry and calm nodding... I know you are calm! ! Can you change the word? ! ★The third issue of finding faults: Single use of punctuation Punctuation marks contain a lot of emotions, and the author seems to just punctuate them for the sake of punctuation when writing. Just because the sentence is not finished, commas are used; when the sentence is finished, a period... Is rigid and monotonous, but punctuation can actually be lively and lively. For example, "You are all cripples, aren't you? Catch him quickly." Changed to "Are you all cripples? Catch him quickly!" The anger expressed is stronger, and "is" is more in line with the usage habits of people when they are angry than "is it". The use of question marks in self-questioning sentences expresses more and stronger doubts than periods. For example, "Bai Yao's heart is novel, is this also a formation,..." Is changed to "Bai Yao's heart is novel, is this also a formation?", Readers can better understand the "novelty" of the heroine. Question marks also serve as pauses, making reading more rhythmic. ★The sixth flash: The cover's appearance is online I really like the design of the cover. The wind-swept green leaves and the mountains and rivers are yellow, which gives it a broad and far-reaching artistic conception. The inscription is sharp and powerful, and the overall presentation is very grand. (It was only after I finished writing the review that I realized that the cover had been changed! The new cover is beautiful, but it's not surprising that it's too clichéd to be a female pornographic romance) …………………………………………………… ☆Summary of shortcomings ① Inappropriate wording. Many inconsistent expressions in the article are suspected of being worded together. ② Use words repeatedly. If the same adjective appears too many times, readers will easily suffer from visual fatigue and resistance. ③The use of punctuation is rigid and monotonous. Many emotions are not expressed well enough, and the sense of immersion is much reduced. ☆Corresponding suggestions ① Standardize the use of words and sentences. The author's writing style is quite good, but there is still room for improvement in details. ② Use punctuation flexibly. It is recommended that the author carefully consider the use of punctuation marks, so that the vividness and emotional expression of the article can be more brilliant. ③ Try to change the scene. The article is not a first-person perspective, and there is no need to always narrate it from the female protagonist's perspective. The author can try to intersperse scenes with different characters and different perspectives at the same time, and make good use of God's perspective to make the content more colorful and the information more effective and rich. ④Create more fun. The golden finger of the heroine is not very open. From the inspiration of the spirit by chance to the climb to the third level of Qi refining step by step, it can be regarded as a steady progress, but it is a bit dull in terms of market demand, and the readers do not feel "satisfied". …………………………………………………… [What I want to say to the author] Although this is the first time to write about fairy tales, the author has a good grasp of the entire worldview, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the world of cultivation constructed by the author's rich imagination and beautiful writing. The reading process is enjoyable. The update of the work is quite stable and deserves encouragement. I hope the author will continue to work hard, make continuous progress, and write better and better, come on! ! …………………………………… This book review is reproduced from: Roadside Stall Review Circle. At the request of the author, it was published in the "Yao Dao" book club.

After reading three chapters, I feel that the text is beautiful, has a sense of pictures, and is very well thought out (the advantages of female video writers). The page is very clean and beautiful, and there is a desire to read on. The characters are not cluttered, and the explanations are very clear. Some minor flaws are unavoidable. Come on, collected it.

Is it really no cp? I saw some weird adjectives in the latest chapter describing Ji Ninglan's eyes on the heroine. The heroine is only twelve years old. Although there is nothing ambiguous, several adjectives do not sound like a twelve-year-old girl. It would be better to change this aspect. It may be that I have misunderstood it unilaterally. The novel is still very interesting and exciting. I read the latest in one go. The author must work hard and update continuously ✊

The introduction is good, but I didn't expect the author to be able to write in the ancient poetry style of a male fantasy novel. The writing style is okay, but the writing is average and unremarkable. The protagonist, Xiaobai, is a new kid who hopes to grow up. After all, cultivating the world of immortality is not that easy. Looking at the introduction, the author has a lot of thoughts, but I don't know if the writing can hold up. Come on, author, the writing needs more practice. Read more novels. Don't forget your original intention. I hope you will cherish it. The road to immortality will slowly be built, and the road will be simple. Remember,

I looked and saw that there is no male protagonist, so I guess. At present, I feel that the author has never written a normal sect (laughing sinisterly), which is probably more than 300 chapters (the kind that is on the verge of extinction). Ignoring this point, reading the article is okay for the time being, and then the protagonist's experience is a bit dependent on luck (a bit of a protagonist) The Law of Immortality), although it also shows some intelligence, but it still feels a little weak. (I can only speak of the IQ of a normal person) There is no big problem with the writing style. I will stop commenting here for the time being. After all, the writing is quite satisfactory and there is no highlight that I want. I can only say that I can still read it in my book shortage.

I re-read Chapter 104. Why is the heroine always being used and thanking the other party? What kind of logic has it become? Moreover, the heroine has never been outstanding. Can't she kill herself? She is always being used and protected.

To all the cuties and readers who are passing by, please listen to my words: leave your comments before leaving.

This male supporting actor is the role of the male protagonist. No male protagonist yet

Finally there is an opportunity to invest. Come and invest quickly. Come on, the results look good.

I want to tie the author into a dark room, and if he doesn't update, I won't give him any food‸ crimin

Ready to watch, ask about the relationship between the heroine and pets. Don't engage in the peaceful and free model. Pets are pets. How can the heroine not have any restrictions if she has secrets?

The more annoying Su is, will the heroine really have a good relationship with him later on? Don't tell me that he will smile evilly at everything. The heroine will forgive him in the end. You must know that he killed the heroine, although he didn't kill him.

Is it updated every day? ヾ(●´∇｀●)ﾉWow~

Already invested, waiting to receive money ✊

Nice looking, picturesque. . . .

All the soldiers of "Taoyuan Suppression of Bandits" came to report: It is well written and has been collected✊

Girls also write fairy tales, I'm surprised